Alan
@oraclecrank.bsky.social
chattanooga, tn | 🍞🏴🏳️🌈 | he/him
this is what happens when you only sacrifice 999 psykers
November 4, 2025 at 4:22 PM
this is what happens when you only sacrifice 999 psykers
heaven has a new #Resistance angel 🙏
November 4, 2025 at 1:33 PM
heaven has a new #Resistance angel 🙏
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars," "Star Trek," "Dr. Who," or "Transformers.
November 3, 2025 at 7:20 PM
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars," "Star Trek," "Dr. Who," or "Transformers.
brutal lmao
This Washington Post article about MAGA people trying and failing to date in Washington is...really something
www.removepaywall.com/search?url=h...
www.removepaywall.com/search?url=h...
November 3, 2025 at 7:10 PM
brutal lmao
it's too late bro I've already depicted myself as the $99 fancy corn snake and you as the lowly $89 assorted corn snake
October 26, 2025 at 9:20 PM
it's too late bro I've already depicted myself as the $99 fancy corn snake and you as the lowly $89 assorted corn snake
boyfriend said I look really gay today??
October 25, 2025 at 6:20 PM
boyfriend said I look really gay today??
once again thinking about soviet bread
October 23, 2025 at 11:18 PM
once again thinking about soviet bread
gimme the treats boys
October 23, 2025 at 10:53 AM
gimme the treats boys
My union is finally having a strike authorization vote next week!
October 22, 2025 at 7:32 PM
My union is finally having a strike authorization vote next week!
can I see your phone?
um sure one second
um sure one second
October 21, 2025 at 2:55 PM
can I see your phone?
um sure one second
um sure one second
actually my satire is neither mistaken for nor does it contribute to that which it intends to criticize even it when it lacks a clarity of purpose and target but I'm built different 💪
October 20, 2025 at 5:06 PM
actually my satire is neither mistaken for nor does it contribute to that which it intends to criticize even it when it lacks a clarity of purpose and target but I'm built different 💪
something
is working toward you
right now
no no, not YOU personally, not like that
don't worry about it
is working toward you
right now
no no, not YOU personally, not like that
don't worry about it
October 20, 2025 at 2:34 PM
something
is working toward you
right now
no no, not YOU personally, not like that
don't worry about it
is working toward you
right now
no no, not YOU personally, not like that
don't worry about it
ogden nash [gay]
the problem with a twink is that
eventually he becomes a brat
the problem with a twink is that
eventually he becomes a brat
October 18, 2025 at 10:27 AM
ogden nash [gay]
the problem with a twink is that
eventually he becomes a brat
the problem with a twink is that
eventually he becomes a brat
I know everyone says this about the place they live in but people in Chattanooga honestly do not know how to fucking drive
October 17, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I know everyone says this about the place they live in but people in Chattanooga honestly do not know how to fucking drive
Reposted by Alan
I just saw PaRappa The Rapper outside the post office. I was nervous but I went up and said hello. He's doing all right - not really rapping these days, he works for a haulage company. But he wanted me to pass on to all his fans that he's doing all right. Strict no selfies policy, alas.
October 17, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I just saw PaRappa The Rapper outside the post office. I was nervous but I went up and said hello. He's doing all right - not really rapping these days, he works for a haulage company. But he wanted me to pass on to all his fans that he's doing all right. Strict no selfies policy, alas.
it would've been so based and cool if Jesus had said, "slaves, kill your masters" but Christianity probably wouldn't have become the preferred religion of European royalty
October 17, 2025 at 4:42 PM
it would've been so based and cool if Jesus had said, "slaves, kill your masters" but Christianity probably wouldn't have become the preferred religion of European royalty
libs on here earnestly welcoming John Bolton to the resistance lol
October 17, 2025 at 4:10 PM
libs on here earnestly welcoming John Bolton to the resistance lol
*leonard cohen voice*
The vote was close.
On human hope.
How much per scope?
How thick the rope?
The minutes read.
The motion bled.
On moral debt.
And cosmic dread
When Christ first saw the cross
(chorus)
Lady your body is beautiful
I want to sleep with you
The vote was close.
On human hope.
How much per scope?
How thick the rope?
The minutes read.
The motion bled.
On moral debt.
And cosmic dread
When Christ first saw the cross
(chorus)
Lady your body is beautiful
I want to sleep with you
October 17, 2025 at 1:25 PM
*leonard cohen voice*
The vote was close.
On human hope.
How much per scope?
How thick the rope?
The minutes read.
The motion bled.
On moral debt.
And cosmic dread
When Christ first saw the cross
(chorus)
Lady your body is beautiful
I want to sleep with you
The vote was close.
On human hope.
How much per scope?
How thick the rope?
The minutes read.
The motion bled.
On moral debt.
And cosmic dread
When Christ first saw the cross
(chorus)
Lady your body is beautiful
I want to sleep with you
tony blair really thought they'd let him be the new pontius pilate
October 14, 2025 at 6:04 PM
tony blair really thought they'd let him be the new pontius pilate
Reposted by Alan
Those birds need to play nice!
October 14, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Those birds need to play nice!
no matter how poor you are, remember that you're roughly $1.4 billion richer than Alex Jones
October 14, 2025 at 2:29 PM
no matter how poor you are, remember that you're roughly $1.4 billion richer than Alex Jones
when im doing farm labor
October 14, 2025 at 12:36 PM
when im doing farm labor
