open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
i post with my heart
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter
"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter
"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
Pinned
the reality is libs are just as aesthetics-obsessed as the fash, it's just that instead of maximizing images of power and strength, libs want to minimize images that make them feel uncomfy
The liberals aren't interested in stopping the fascist policies, only in stopping the *aesthetics* of fascist policies. They don't mind the concentration camps, as long as they don't have to see them. They don't mind the secret police, as long as they aren't doing executions in public.
February 17, 2026 at 4:49 AM
the reality is libs are just as aesthetics-obsessed as the fash, it's just that instead of maximizing images of power and strength, libs want to minimize images that make them feel uncomfy
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
mfs out here on natgeo like "the forbidden tomb of..." guys most tombs are forbidden, like you're not supposed to open any of them
February 17, 2026 at 1:33 AM
mfs out here on natgeo like "the forbidden tomb of..." guys most tombs are forbidden, like you're not supposed to open any of them
It is not long before we must develop an order of mercantile monks who abstain from social media and so on and shop on behalf of others to protect them from the AI facial recognition individualized surge pricing.
February 16, 2026 at 8:10 PM
It is not long before we must develop an order of mercantile monks who abstain from social media and so on and shop on behalf of others to protect them from the AI facial recognition individualized surge pricing.
hot take, I think poptarts might be sandwiches
February 15, 2026 at 9:53 PM
hot take, I think poptarts might be sandwiches
I have just discovered my child doesn't have school tomorrow because of some kind of holiday and this is extremely fuckin up my plan of sleeping all day while he's at school, pissss
February 15, 2026 at 9:41 PM
I have just discovered my child doesn't have school tomorrow because of some kind of holiday and this is extremely fuckin up my plan of sleeping all day while he's at school, pissss
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
A New American Movement poster from 1971. Still extremely relevant today.
February 15, 2026 at 9:09 PM
A New American Movement poster from 1971. Still extremely relevant today.
The old world is dying. A new world struggles to be born. Now is the time of Pokemonsters.
February 15, 2026 at 2:06 PM
The old world is dying. A new world struggles to be born. Now is the time of Pokemonsters.
it's wild how "Chinese Internet censors" really just seem like cover for the Western media to slander China while claiming the people there would complain but can't because of the censorship lol
February 15, 2026 at 12:31 PM
it's wild how "Chinese Internet censors" really just seem like cover for the Western media to slander China while claiming the people there would complain but can't because of the censorship lol
Retvrn guy but for the era of King Gesar of Ling
February 15, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Retvrn guy but for the era of King Gesar of Ling
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
so if DHS is now controlling military equipment for shooting down balloons does that upgrade them from gestapo to Waffen SS?
February 12, 2026 at 10:01 PM
so if DHS is now controlling military equipment for shooting down balloons does that upgrade them from gestapo to Waffen SS?
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
I would like to argue that my artwork depicting the end of Aeschylus’s life is just as historically accurate as the average “Death of Cleopatra” painting.
Klaire Lockheart, Death of Aeschylus. 2025. Oil on Canvas. 60x54”.
#brodalisque #FigurePainting #PKFGrantee #Aeschylus #art
Klaire Lockheart, Death of Aeschylus. 2025. Oil on Canvas. 60x54”.
#brodalisque #FigurePainting #PKFGrantee #Aeschylus #art
February 12, 2026 at 4:26 AM
I would like to argue that my artwork depicting the end of Aeschylus’s life is just as historically accurate as the average “Death of Cleopatra” painting.
Klaire Lockheart, Death of Aeschylus. 2025. Oil on Canvas. 60x54”.
#brodalisque #FigurePainting #PKFGrantee #Aeschylus #art
Klaire Lockheart, Death of Aeschylus. 2025. Oil on Canvas. 60x54”.
#brodalisque #FigurePainting #PKFGrantee #Aeschylus #art
WSJ articles are consistently delightful because they paint a quaint and cute picture of this super adorable fantasy world where you can save enough money on food to afford a house lmao
February 12, 2026 at 5:43 PM
WSJ articles are consistently delightful because they paint a quaint and cute picture of this super adorable fantasy world where you can save enough money on food to afford a house lmao
the writers are getting entirely too cheeky this season
I'm sorry the guy changing the rules on the fly is named what
I stand with County Executive Calvin Ball as he signs emergency legislation today prohibiting privately owned buildings from being used as ICE detention centers.
Howard County chose dignity, accountability, and its people. Tune into our event now:
bit.ly/4a2VtHw
Howard County chose dignity, accountability, and its people. Tune into our event now:
bit.ly/4a2VtHw
February 7, 2026 at 9:41 PM
the writers are getting entirely too cheeky this season
Pokemon invented Urshifu to beat the parryslop accusations
February 7, 2026 at 3:03 PM
Pokemon invented Urshifu to beat the parryslop accusations
I just looked up this kid rock guy and he's like 50 something
you cannot be kid rock and be 50 something
get a job, pay taxes, you must be adult rock
nobody has done this joke before me I'm certain
you cannot be kid rock and be 50 something
get a job, pay taxes, you must be adult rock
nobody has done this joke before me I'm certain
February 6, 2026 at 2:52 PM
I just looked up this kid rock guy and he's like 50 something
you cannot be kid rock and be 50 something
get a job, pay taxes, you must be adult rock
nobody has done this joke before me I'm certain
you cannot be kid rock and be 50 something
get a job, pay taxes, you must be adult rock
nobody has done this joke before me I'm certain
Last night I felt like maybe we were cursing ourselves with some kind of inauspicious action, so I told my partner we needed to do the opposite of whatever our instinct was at any given time, and I got 7 hours of sleep
February 6, 2026 at 11:52 AM
Last night I felt like maybe we were cursing ourselves with some kind of inauspicious action, so I told my partner we needed to do the opposite of whatever our instinct was at any given time, and I got 7 hours of sleep
trying to come up with other reasons why the doors would be locked such that this warrants explanation
February 6, 2026 at 1:49 AM
trying to come up with other reasons why the doors would be locked such that this warrants explanation
London bridge is falling down? And you're singing?
February 4, 2026 at 8:47 PM
London bridge is falling down? And you're singing?
okay there's only one guy allowed to use the "CEO of Antifa" username now and it's this guy
🚨 Documents leaked to me reveal a federal watchlist of American protesters suspected of being Antifa - including its supposed leader.
One Department of Homeland Security document says a 29-year-old resident of Portland "is the leader of Antifa":
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/feds-ident...
One Department of Homeland Security document says a 29-year-old resident of Portland "is the leader of Antifa":
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/feds-ident...
Feds Identify “Leader of Antifa”
The list they're creating says so, anyway
www.kenklippenstein.com
February 3, 2026 at 12:51 PM
okay there's only one guy allowed to use the "CEO of Antifa" username now and it's this guy
*rising with the other monks* namo thato breado getto
February 3, 2026 at 12:36 PM
*rising with the other monks* namo thato breado getto
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
why are you, an adult, still suppressing your vital winds by drinking cold water???
January 21, 2026 at 7:13 PM
why are you, an adult, still suppressing your vital winds by drinking cold water???
Desire realm my ass, this world of suffering leaves a lot to be desired if you ask me
February 2, 2026 at 7:14 PM
Desire realm my ass, this world of suffering leaves a lot to be desired if you ask me
can't believe they made this poor kid fly himself back home too smh my head
February 1, 2026 at 11:58 PM
can't believe they made this poor kid fly himself back home too smh my head