open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
i post with my heart
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter
"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter
"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
Pinned
I hope everyone has a happier and better new year than the guy who approved my critical care recertification application 8 minutes after midnight lmao
January 1, 2026 at 5:25 AM
I hope everyone has a happier and better new year than the guy who approved my critical care recertification application 8 minutes after midnight lmao
double time after midnight isn't enough to make me want to be at work, but it might just be enough to keep me from going home
December 31, 2025 at 11:35 PM
double time after midnight isn't enough to make me want to be at work, but it might just be enough to keep me from going home
Having watched this, I gotta draw parallels to the modern AI space. We see a shitload of very dumb Tims constantly pushing it unwanted into every facet of our lives before it is anywhere near ready, but it is actually being developed by many a humble Al.
It's Tool Time.
It's always Tool Time.
It's Tool Time.
It's always Tool Time.
FOOL TIME, part 4 of 4
"THE DUMBEST GUY IN HISTORY'
now free to watch on youtube
youtu.be/_HGk0WQF_Z4?...
"THE DUMBEST GUY IN HISTORY'
now free to watch on youtube
youtu.be/_HGk0WQF_Z4?...
The dumbest guy in history | Fool Time, Part 4 of 4
YouTube video by Secret Base
youtu.be
December 31, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Having watched this, I gotta draw parallels to the modern AI space. We see a shitload of very dumb Tims constantly pushing it unwanted into every facet of our lives before it is anywhere near ready, but it is actually being developed by many a humble Al.
It's Tool Time.
It's always Tool Time.
It's Tool Time.
It's always Tool Time.
tbh I'm kinda over the common era
I know 2026 is the highest number we've gotten so far but 2025 is a nice number I vote we start over at 0 or 1
I know 2026 is the highest number we've gotten so far but 2025 is a nice number I vote we start over at 0 or 1
December 31, 2025 at 6:33 PM
tbh I'm kinda over the common era
I know 2026 is the highest number we've gotten so far but 2025 is a nice number I vote we start over at 0 or 1
I know 2026 is the highest number we've gotten so far but 2025 is a nice number I vote we start over at 0 or 1
everyone getting excited about this year being over and I get that but I heard they're just gonna do another year starting tomorrow
December 31, 2025 at 5:12 PM
everyone getting excited about this year being over and I get that but I heard they're just gonna do another year starting tomorrow
Average year, worse than last year, better than next, etc
December 31, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Average year, worse than last year, better than next, etc
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
December 31, 2025 at 7:48 AM
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
true posters never die, they just slide one foot out from under themselves and fall on their ass. It's not clear what kind of move they were trying to do.
One of the best to ever do it
December 30, 2025 at 5:50 PM
true posters never die, they just slide one foot out from under themselves and fall on their ass. It's not clear what kind of move they were trying to do.
one of the many ways in which the trump presidency has changed my brain is that every time I snack now I think "bring me the poison! ... okay get the poison out of here"
December 30, 2025 at 1:28 AM
one of the many ways in which the trump presidency has changed my brain is that every time I snack now I think "bring me the poison! ... okay get the poison out of here"
one thing I think the American economy has definitely lacked is opportunities for poor people to lose money
like sure you can lose all the money you have on a bad bet on a gambling app, but what about losing money you don't even have????
fortunately, the free market has an answer for that too
like sure you can lose all the money you have on a bad bet on a gambling app, but what about losing money you don't even have????
fortunately, the free market has an answer for that too
December 29, 2025 at 8:04 PM
one thing I think the American economy has definitely lacked is opportunities for poor people to lose money
like sure you can lose all the money you have on a bad bet on a gambling app, but what about losing money you don't even have????
fortunately, the free market has an answer for that too
like sure you can lose all the money you have on a bad bet on a gambling app, but what about losing money you don't even have????
fortunately, the free market has an answer for that too
I'm not gonna lie this just seems like a concentrated political attack on ass men by the breasts guy coalition
December 27, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I'm not gonna lie this just seems like a concentrated political attack on ass men by the breasts guy coalition
"yeah man, I hate chimneysweeps too"
December 27, 2025 at 6:36 PM
"yeah man, I hate chimneysweeps too"
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends
December 27, 2025 at 5:47 PM
oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
my son got two different toy fire trucks for christmas. two. and despite being considerably more familiar with their purpose and operation, i didn’t receive a single fucking fire truck
December 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM
my son got two different toy fire trucks for christmas. two. and despite being considerably more familiar with their purpose and operation, i didn’t receive a single fucking fire truck
but for real tho have people just never seen cocaine use except in movies so they don't realize it looks like this or is it that they all do cocaine so often they think this is normal?
yeah I mean it’s genuinely sad that the “reasonable old school” Republican (who Dems eagerly and unanimously voted to confirm) is out here doing pressers blatantly geeked out coke and it’s not subtle
December 24, 2025 at 5:06 AM
but for real tho have people just never seen cocaine use except in movies so they don't realize it looks like this or is it that they all do cocaine so often they think this is normal?
holy shit, this nonprofit hospital made too much money this year and now we can get enough paper towel I guess
December 24, 2025 at 2:51 AM
holy shit, this nonprofit hospital made too much money this year and now we can get enough paper towel I guess
you know we all like to hate on the health insurance industry, and that's good, you should!
but also I think we overlook the fact that the primary responsibility of hospital administration is to benefit its shareholders rather than its patients
but also I think we overlook the fact that the primary responsibility of hospital administration is to benefit its shareholders rather than its patients
December 23, 2025 at 5:53 PM
you know we all like to hate on the health insurance industry, and that's good, you should!
but also I think we overlook the fact that the primary responsibility of hospital administration is to benefit its shareholders rather than its patients
but also I think we overlook the fact that the primary responsibility of hospital administration is to benefit its shareholders rather than its patients
lol it's crazy how they don't have trucks in the non English speaking world
December 23, 2025 at 4:40 PM
lol it's crazy how they don't have trucks in the non English speaking world
a lot of US politics today makes more sense if you imagine Trump as an Emperor Hui of Jin kinda character with the cabinet as his various attendant handlers and idk I guess Miller as Empress Jia
I guess Rubio is Sima Lun in this scenario, has he received the Nine Endowments yet???
I guess Rubio is Sima Lun in this scenario, has he received the Nine Endowments yet???
December 21, 2025 at 6:00 PM
a lot of US politics today makes more sense if you imagine Trump as an Emperor Hui of Jin kinda character with the cabinet as his various attendant handlers and idk I guess Miller as Empress Jia
I guess Rubio is Sima Lun in this scenario, has he received the Nine Endowments yet???
I guess Rubio is Sima Lun in this scenario, has he received the Nine Endowments yet???
if there are any largely-offline hyper-rural intentional communes that need a paramedic or like intermediary with the outside world or I guess oracle I'm now accepting proposals
December 21, 2025 at 5:38 PM
if there are any largely-offline hyper-rural intentional communes that need a paramedic or like intermediary with the outside world or I guess oracle I'm now accepting proposals
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
Always an opportunity to remind everyone of Thingu. youtu.be/wrZ7PnolbQ4?...
THingu's The Thing (18+)
YouTube video by Lee Hardcastle
youtu.be
December 21, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Always an opportunity to remind everyone of Thingu. youtu.be/wrZ7PnolbQ4?...
December 21, 2025 at 5:53 AM
one thing I'm happy I'll always be able to say for myself is I've never been implicated in the Epstein files
December 21, 2025 at 12:30 AM
one thing I'm happy I'll always be able to say for myself is I've never been implicated in the Epstein files
this game really does have a wealth of reaction images
December 20, 2025 at 9:19 PM
this game really does have a wealth of reaction images