open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
i post with my heart
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter
"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter
"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
Pinned
"You will be visited by three spirits"
November 26, 2025 at 1:23 AM
"You will be visited by three spirits"
bumping this after the Mamdani meeting
seeing it making the rounds, cannot begin to guess where it originated, cannot stop laughing
November 25, 2025 at 6:18 PM
bumping this after the Mamdani meeting
I will never condemn hummus
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I will never condemn hummus
"it's strange, but whenever there are three lights in the sky, they always make a formation like this"
A triangle??? Whenever you get three points it always makes a triangle, u idiots
A triangle??? Whenever you get three points it always makes a triangle, u idiots
watching paranormal caught on camera
"watch what looks like a head peaking around the door"
I'm sorry?? Have you just like never seen a head before, or what are we even doing here????
"watch what looks like a head peaking around the door"
I'm sorry?? Have you just like never seen a head before, or what are we even doing here????
November 24, 2025 at 3:38 AM
"it's strange, but whenever there are three lights in the sky, they always make a formation like this"
A triangle??? Whenever you get three points it always makes a triangle, u idiots
A triangle??? Whenever you get three points it always makes a triangle, u idiots
watching paranormal caught on camera
"watch what looks like a head peaking around the door"
I'm sorry?? Have you just like never seen a head before, or what are we even doing here????
"watch what looks like a head peaking around the door"
I'm sorry?? Have you just like never seen a head before, or what are we even doing here????
November 24, 2025 at 3:12 AM
watching paranormal caught on camera
"watch what looks like a head peaking around the door"
I'm sorry?? Have you just like never seen a head before, or what are we even doing here????
"watch what looks like a head peaking around the door"
I'm sorry?? Have you just like never seen a head before, or what are we even doing here????
if you're a chef and you want to do like your twists on standards and innovate that is awesome, one of my favorite restaurants was a sandwich shop where a guy with a Michelin star just did like next level club sandwiches,
but if you've got one, leave the kids menu standard
but if you've got one, leave the kids menu standard
November 24, 2025 at 2:22 AM
if you're a chef and you want to do like your twists on standards and innovate that is awesome, one of my favorite restaurants was a sandwich shop where a guy with a Michelin star just did like next level club sandwiches,
but if you've got one, leave the kids menu standard
but if you've got one, leave the kids menu standard
dang it's been a while but it looks like my work rotation will let me visit my family in Carcosa for the holidays
probably too cold to go out on Lake Hali tho but we'll see
probably too cold to go out on Lake Hali tho but we'll see
November 19, 2025 at 2:17 PM
dang it's been a while but it looks like my work rotation will let me visit my family in Carcosa for the holidays
probably too cold to go out on Lake Hali tho but we'll see
probably too cold to go out on Lake Hali tho but we'll see
recovering from work today, total yinmode, we're yinmaxxing today fam
November 18, 2025 at 8:19 PM
recovering from work today, total yinmode, we're yinmaxxing today fam
telling my enemies "I hope you have long and fruitful conversations with chatgpt that end abruptly in ways that take your family by surprise"
November 16, 2025 at 1:53 AM
telling my enemies "I hope you have long and fruitful conversations with chatgpt that end abruptly in ways that take your family by surprise"
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
glalie? you mean froslad?
August 12, 2025 at 5:17 AM
glalie? you mean froslad?
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
anemia is an affliction of fairies, that's why you treat it with iron infusions
October 5, 2025 at 6:57 PM
anemia is an affliction of fairies, that's why you treat it with iron infusions
Reposted by open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
eating the tide pods so everyone knows I'm cool but also of a certain vintage
October 8, 2025 at 7:05 PM
eating the tide pods so everyone knows I'm cool but also of a certain vintage
I know I'm raising my kid right because he wanted me to put on dance music so I put on "I Will Survive" and he *insisted* it wasn't dance music until I put on EDM
November 15, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I know I'm raising my kid right because he wanted me to put on dance music so I put on "I Will Survive" and he *insisted* it wasn't dance music until I put on EDM
thinking about it, people are basically mimikyus
just skeletons/ghosts hiding inside costumes
just skeletons/ghosts hiding inside costumes
November 15, 2025 at 2:40 PM
thinking about it, people are basically mimikyus
just skeletons/ghosts hiding inside costumes
just skeletons/ghosts hiding inside costumes
mfs would rather text a chatbot instead of literally just praying lmao
The app Text With Jesus uses artificial intelligence and chatbots to offer spiritual guidance to users who are looking to connect with a higher power: on.nbc10.com/7XM8xrf
People can text with Jesus on a controversial new app. How does it work?
Artificial intelligence app Text With Jesus lets users chat with biblical figures and it is raising debate over faith and technology.
on.nbc10.com
November 15, 2025 at 2:28 PM
mfs would rather text a chatbot instead of literally just praying lmao
not only should safe injection sites exist, they should have staff who can start proper IVs with luer locks to take the question of needles out entirely, thus making it even safer to do drugs
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 15, 2025 at 1:12 PM
not only should safe injection sites exist, they should have staff who can start proper IVs with luer locks to take the question of needles out entirely, thus making it even safer to do drugs
feeding my dead mom's socials into an llm so that she can tell me to kill myself thus atoning for bringing me into this timeline
November 14, 2025 at 1:10 PM
feeding my dead mom's socials into an llm so that she can tell me to kill myself thus atoning for bringing me into this timeline
Pakistan becoming a military junta, Japan antagonizing China, the US waging wars of aggression in South America... Bit of a powder keg huh? Surely America's excellent diplomatic corps can stave off world war.
Wait, I'm getting an update on the US diplomatic corps...
Wait, I'm getting an update on the US diplomatic corps...
November 14, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Pakistan becoming a military junta, Japan antagonizing China, the US waging wars of aggression in South America... Bit of a powder keg huh? Surely America's excellent diplomatic corps can stave off world war.
Wait, I'm getting an update on the US diplomatic corps...
Wait, I'm getting an update on the US diplomatic corps...
a retvrn guy but for cigarettes vs vapes but like all nostalgia based on false perceptions of the past, forgetting how bad that shit made your hands and clothes stink
November 14, 2025 at 6:39 AM
a retvrn guy but for cigarettes vs vapes but like all nostalgia based on false perceptions of the past, forgetting how bad that shit made your hands and clothes stink
a much overlooked factor in the differences in generations and how they interact with one another is just how much cooler smoking cigarettes is than vaping
November 14, 2025 at 6:34 AM
a much overlooked factor in the differences in generations and how they interact with one another is just how much cooler smoking cigarettes is than vaping
wait were there people out there who didn't already know Trump is a pedophile or is everyone just doing a bit???
November 14, 2025 at 12:31 AM
wait were there people out there who didn't already know Trump is a pedophile or is everyone just doing a bit???
my kid playing some game called wobbly life but I haven't seen any strike action or industrial sabotage yet smh my head
November 11, 2025 at 7:09 PM
my kid playing some game called wobbly life but I haven't seen any strike action or industrial sabotage yet smh my head
children are so hard
you do everything you can to raise them as a ghost type trainer, then one morning they come out of their room and announce they're a fairy type trainer
at least we still share mimikyu
you do everything you can to raise them as a ghost type trainer, then one morning they come out of their room and announce they're a fairy type trainer
at least we still share mimikyu
November 11, 2025 at 2:28 PM
children are so hard
you do everything you can to raise them as a ghost type trainer, then one morning they come out of their room and announce they're a fairy type trainer
at least we still share mimikyu
you do everything you can to raise them as a ghost type trainer, then one morning they come out of their room and announce they're a fairy type trainer
at least we still share mimikyu
what's genuinely surprising to me is that it's taken this long for the Dems to cave
they still suck but I figured they'd cave for even less or cave in a way that sabotaged some progressives down ticket
they still suck but I figured they'd cave for even less or cave in a way that sabotaged some progressives down ticket
November 10, 2025 at 1:22 AM
what's genuinely surprising to me is that it's taken this long for the Dems to cave
they still suck but I figured they'd cave for even less or cave in a way that sabotaged some progressives down ticket
they still suck but I figured they'd cave for even less or cave in a way that sabotaged some progressives down ticket