A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
@oceanplastics.bsky.social
Director of Public Outreach for the Wilmington Free Beer Party
My instructor: "It helps to have a mnemonic to remember the order of the flats..."
Me, immediately: "Butts Eat Ass, Don't Get Communism Free."
Me, immediately: "Butts Eat Ass, Don't Get Communism Free."
August 12, 2025 at 2:19 AM
My instructor: "It helps to have a mnemonic to remember the order of the flats..."
Me, immediately: "Butts Eat Ass, Don't Get Communism Free."
Me, immediately: "Butts Eat Ass, Don't Get Communism Free."
Fred Armisen is Adam Sandler if he were funny.
August 10, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Fred Armisen is Adam Sandler if he were funny.
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
What use, exactly, is a party that campaigns on defending marginalized groups but abandons any marginalized group actually being attacked? It's the definition of fair weather friendship. There when you don't need them, gone when you do
August 8, 2025 at 2:09 PM
What use, exactly, is a party that campaigns on defending marginalized groups but abandons any marginalized group actually being attacked? It's the definition of fair weather friendship. There when you don't need them, gone when you do
I think we allowed Taco Bell to continue existing because it's the *softest* of the fast foods
August 5, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I think we allowed Taco Bell to continue existing because it's the *softest* of the fast foods
To me the earliest sign things would turn out like this was that we allowed Jimmy Fallon to happen
August 2, 2025 at 10:20 PM
To me the earliest sign things would turn out like this was that we allowed Jimmy Fallon to happen
Oh what's that? You wanna talk about that NPR story you heard on the drive over?
Fuck you Dave, I just read half an issue of Jacobin and took two shots of Everclear. I'm calling the fucking cops on MYSELF. Let's see who gets out of this birthday party first, assclown.
Fuck you Dave, I just read half an issue of Jacobin and took two shots of Everclear. I'm calling the fucking cops on MYSELF. Let's see who gets out of this birthday party first, assclown.
August 2, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Oh what's that? You wanna talk about that NPR story you heard on the drive over?
Fuck you Dave, I just read half an issue of Jacobin and took two shots of Everclear. I'm calling the fucking cops on MYSELF. Let's see who gets out of this birthday party first, assclown.
Fuck you Dave, I just read half an issue of Jacobin and took two shots of Everclear. I'm calling the fucking cops on MYSELF. Let's see who gets out of this birthday party first, assclown.
It gently amuses me that there is this massive audience of day traders in, like, Kansas City and Tucson that happily fork over collective millions on Substack for the opinions of doughy radical centrists who endlessly repeat their ideas for free on NPR and podcasts with names like The Sure Thing
July 30, 2025 at 12:26 AM
It gently amuses me that there is this massive audience of day traders in, like, Kansas City and Tucson that happily fork over collective millions on Substack for the opinions of doughy radical centrists who endlessly repeat their ideas for free on NPR and podcasts with names like The Sure Thing
*errantly picks up a kazoo in my empty apartment and
blows three short and hearty notes*
"Ok, we'll I'm overstimulated now."
blows three short and hearty notes*
"Ok, we'll I'm overstimulated now."
July 26, 2025 at 12:56 AM
*errantly picks up a kazoo in my empty apartment and
blows three short and hearty notes*
"Ok, we'll I'm overstimulated now."
blows three short and hearty notes*
"Ok, we'll I'm overstimulated now."
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
Found the lil guy at the raves at Anthrocon c:
July 14, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Found the lil guy at the raves at Anthrocon c:
My greatest source of despair is being reaffirmed in every conversation with dullards that most Americans have two concepts of success: win at gambling or conceive a novel shape for blow-molded plastic and get a payout the equivalent to the GDP of a small country
July 12, 2025 at 1:12 PM
My greatest source of despair is being reaffirmed in every conversation with dullards that most Americans have two concepts of success: win at gambling or conceive a novel shape for blow-molded plastic and get a payout the equivalent to the GDP of a small country
If there's an actual use case for AI it's editing Jimmy Fallon out of movies
July 12, 2025 at 12:39 AM
If there's an actual use case for AI it's editing Jimmy Fallon out of movies
Am I drunk or have they retroactively altered the opening titles for The Untouchables?
July 6, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Am I drunk or have they retroactively altered the opening titles for The Untouchables?
I am no tender patriot, but it spikes my enui to see dipshits in flag-print pants walking around ripping ass into Old Glory
July 4, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I am no tender patriot, but it spikes my enui to see dipshits in flag-print pants walking around ripping ass into Old Glory
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
this country makes me feel like a facist for loving hot dogs
July 4, 2025 at 2:54 AM
this country makes me feel like a facist for loving hot dogs
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
In their eyes, the nasty things that he has said about Jews, starts are ends with "I believe Israel has a right to exist, free from apartheid, where there is equality for everyone."
June 28, 2025 at 8:47 PM
In their eyes, the nasty things that he has said about Jews, starts are ends with "I believe Israel has a right to exist, free from apartheid, where there is equality for everyone."
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
Best I can do in these dark times is proselytize that the guys with the biggest dicks play the ukelele
June 22, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Best I can do in these dark times is proselytize that the guys with the biggest dicks play the ukelele
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
It's getting bad, I saw two Simpsons profile pic accounts fighting
June 22, 2025 at 3:56 AM
It's getting bad, I saw two Simpsons profile pic accounts fighting
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
June 21, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
Musk thinks whatever opinion he has about anything, no matter how little expertise or lack of research he has done, is the objective truth. Which is horrifying because he weilds so much power but also hilarious because he is a moron
June 21, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Musk thinks whatever opinion he has about anything, no matter how little expertise or lack of research he has done, is the objective truth. Which is horrifying because he weilds so much power but also hilarious because he is a moron
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
Thinking about Swedish Chef shrieking and waving his hands in the air frantically while his Gundam continues to kill civilians.
June 20, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Thinking about Swedish Chef shrieking and waving his hands in the air frantically while his Gundam continues to kill civilians.
I'm in a funk because I finally had to admit to myself I'm just not cool enough to get into Operation Ivy
June 19, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I'm in a funk because I finally had to admit to myself I'm just not cool enough to get into Operation Ivy
Reposted by A Smelly Ticklish Oaf
Before you defend yourself, just consider the optics
June 11, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Before you defend yourself, just consider the optics