I act very mature for someone who was just yelling chicken jockey with a bunch of kids in the movie theater
April 12, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I act very mature for someone who was just yelling chicken jockey with a bunch of kids in the movie theater
Lying on the couch and my dog is sitting on my butt. Or as I like to call it the iron throne
April 3, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Lying on the couch and my dog is sitting on my butt. Or as I like to call it the iron throne
I’m not mature enough for this life
April 3, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I’m not mature enough for this life
Every time I wear a floral shirt I have this need to get a parrot and complete my Ace Ventura look
April 1, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Every time I wear a floral shirt I have this need to get a parrot and complete my Ace Ventura look
Facebook marketplace. Can’t turn down a good deal just because I MIGHT get murdered
March 31, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Facebook marketplace. Can’t turn down a good deal just because I MIGHT get murdered
We are the generation that explains to our kids the dangers of the internet meanwhile we buy things from total strangers on Facebook marketplace
March 31, 2025 at 9:25 AM
We are the generation that explains to our kids the dangers of the internet meanwhile we buy things from total strangers on Facebook marketplace
-I don’t drink I don’t smoke
-How do you deal with anxiety then?
-I’m neck deep into dark romance novels
-How do you deal with anxiety then?
-I’m neck deep into dark romance novels
March 12, 2025 at 2:29 PM
-I don’t drink I don’t smoke
-How do you deal with anxiety then?
-I’m neck deep into dark romance novels
-How do you deal with anxiety then?
-I’m neck deep into dark romance novels
Reposted by Niki
I’ll race any five year old who thinks they’re faster than me just because they got new shoes.
February 18, 2025 at 7:09 PM
I’ll race any five year old who thinks they’re faster than me just because they got new shoes.
Reposted by Niki
Cop: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP
Me: NEVER
Cop: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE
Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
Cop:
Me:
Cop: WE HAVE PUPPIES OUT HERE
Me: FOR REAL THIS TIME?
Me: NEVER
Cop: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE
Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
Cop:
Me:
Cop: WE HAVE PUPPIES OUT HERE
Me: FOR REAL THIS TIME?
March 9, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Cop: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP
Me: NEVER
Cop: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE
Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
Cop:
Me:
Cop: WE HAVE PUPPIES OUT HERE
Me: FOR REAL THIS TIME?
Me: NEVER
Cop: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE
Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
Cop:
Me:
Cop: WE HAVE PUPPIES OUT HERE
Me: FOR REAL THIS TIME?
Reposted by Niki
ADHD: because that thing that took 27 days to start, took 27 minutes to finish.
March 7, 2025 at 11:10 PM
ADHD: because that thing that took 27 days to start, took 27 minutes to finish.
Reposted by Niki
Wore a racer back bra today. Felt like a athlete.
March 9, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Wore a racer back bra today. Felt like a athlete.
Reposted by Niki
no such thing as an ethical billionaire
March 8, 2025 at 3:19 PM
no such thing as an ethical billionaire
Reposted by Niki
I wonder if anyone has ever stolen my identity just to realize there’s nothing there to work with?
March 9, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I wonder if anyone has ever stolen my identity just to realize there’s nothing there to work with?
Reposted by Niki
Sorry, I didn’t answer your text. I knew you wanted a favor.
March 8, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Sorry, I didn’t answer your text. I knew you wanted a favor.
Answer every question with ugh and win a trip to SuperLazy land where we can meet up and high five
March 7, 2025 at 9:59 AM
Answer every question with ugh and win a trip to SuperLazy land where we can meet up and high five
That special place in hell it’s me singing to you nonstop
February 27, 2025 at 7:47 AM
That special place in hell it’s me singing to you nonstop
Reposted by Niki
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: In a secure psychiatric unit.
Me: In a secure psychiatric unit.
February 18, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: In a secure psychiatric unit.
Me: In a secure psychiatric unit.
Reposted by Niki
I'm no hippie but I think we should only use social media for joy, love and subpar butthole jokes.
February 26, 2025 at 3:07 AM
I'm no hippie but I think we should only use social media for joy, love and subpar butthole jokes.
Reposted by Niki
I need Severance but for the gym.
February 25, 2025 at 9:53 AM
I need Severance but for the gym.
When I send you reels watch all of them cause I’m gonna quiz you later
February 20, 2025 at 9:42 AM
When I send you reels watch all of them cause I’m gonna quiz you later
Reposted by Niki
Oh this thing i carried for 9 months? Idk its kevin I guess
February 19, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Oh this thing i carried for 9 months? Idk its kevin I guess