Andrew Granola
@mourningcake.bsky.social
Films. Urbanism. Iowa. Packers. Cubs. Kevin?
Pinned
Reposted by Andrew Granola
![Joyce Carol Oates quoting a tweet that says “wherever he [Elon Musk] goes, he wants to leave”:
"wherever he goes, he wants to leave"-- that's because when he gets there, he has brought his own self along; & whatever club he's invited to join has been devalued by the invitation.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:buy3qvqcj3o76leo6ap7pn2p/bafkreifilfbsxemfsambf4kqwolr24ld2ekqcrz4ybgv3bv7kzi5e6kppm@jpeg)
I can somewhat confidently say that I’m the only man who’s about to watch Die My Love and then catch the end of the Packers game
November 11, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I can somewhat confidently say that I’m the only man who’s about to watch Die My Love and then catch the end of the Packers game
I have bravery decided to watch the KC Current game on TV on Sunday
November 8, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I have bravery decided to watch the KC Current game on TV on Sunday
Crazy the 2 most important innovations of the 21st century were produced by Coca-Cola
1) Coke Zero
2) Coke Freestyle Machine
1) Coke Zero
2) Coke Freestyle Machine
November 7, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Crazy the 2 most important innovations of the 21st century were produced by Coca-Cola
1) Coke Zero
2) Coke Freestyle Machine
1) Coke Zero
2) Coke Freestyle Machine
@millsypop.bsky.social @ilovemywive.bsky.social
just saw @kyleskey.bsky.social holding hands with Santa Claus at Cheesecake Factory… don’t expect any presents this year 😢
just saw @kyleskey.bsky.social holding hands with Santa Claus at Cheesecake Factory… don’t expect any presents this year 😢
November 6, 2025 at 9:19 PM
@millsypop.bsky.social @ilovemywive.bsky.social
just saw @kyleskey.bsky.social holding hands with Santa Claus at Cheesecake Factory… don’t expect any presents this year 😢
just saw @kyleskey.bsky.social holding hands with Santa Claus at Cheesecake Factory… don’t expect any presents this year 😢
Rob had sex with The Entity on the set of Mission Impossible and he’s just like this now 🤷🏻♂️
We joke around here but AI has allowed me to streamline my business to such a degree that last week I was able to lay off 2 pregnant women AND roast my son’s golden retriever alive (SmartHome heating system still learning; d’oh! We’ll get there!) 🐕 🔥💀🤣📲🤰🏽🤰🏼🚫
November 6, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Rob had sex with The Entity on the set of Mission Impossible and he’s just like this now 🤷🏻♂️
Normalize booing the Netflix logo at the theater
November 3, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Normalize booing the Netflix logo at the theater
*calmly reminding myself I knew nothing about this Blue Jays team 10 days ago*
November 2, 2025 at 5:12 AM
*calmly reminding myself I knew nothing about this Blue Jays team 10 days ago*
Special message to the Dodgers:
November 2, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Special message to the Dodgers:
Ladies, I’m dressed as Jack Reacher… just how I’m naturally built #Halloween
November 1, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Ladies, I’m dressed as Jack Reacher… just how I’m naturally built #Halloween
Reposted by Andrew Granola
just asked Siri to play Ghostbusters while I make mouth love to your aunt
October 25, 2025 at 1:23 AM
just asked Siri to play Ghostbusters while I make mouth love to your aunt
Lord knows I try to be positive on here but the fact that Dracula brought his son to the Monster Mash is really pissing me off.
October 31, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Lord knows I try to be positive on here but the fact that Dracula brought his son to the Monster Mash is really pissing me off.
@ilovemywive.bsky.social I pooped in the Cary Grant stall at the movie theater today. Let me know if you have any questions
October 31, 2025 at 3:22 AM
@ilovemywive.bsky.social I pooped in the Cary Grant stall at the movie theater today. Let me know if you have any questions
Only here to jeer Kiwis
October 30, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Only here to jeer Kiwis
Between Monday Night Football and The World Series, the city of Kansas City will collectively calling in sick tomorrow
October 28, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Between Monday Night Football and The World Series, the city of Kansas City will collectively calling in sick tomorrow
As suspected, probably the worst stadium context ever. Basically no other option than to drive with literal nothing within walking distance.
October 28, 2025 at 4:43 AM
As suspected, probably the worst stadium context ever. Basically no other option than to drive with literal nothing within walking distance.
First Chiefs game. First Monday Night game.
October 28, 2025 at 1:09 AM
First Chiefs game. First Monday Night game.
TLDR: volunteering will get you laid (via sex)
My family volunteers at our local foodbank & it’s fucking FUN. A huge “secret” about volunteering is that it’s extremely fun & you meet AMAZING ppl. My wife & I met volunteering 21 yrs ago & what started as horny courtship is now a marriage entering its 3rd decade. So BE SELFISH & volunteer!❤️
Feeding America has a page where you can input your zip code and it'll show you all of the food banks near you overlaid on a map. If you need it, it's there. If you don't need it, think about donating money if you have it and your time if you don't.
www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-lo...
www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-lo...
October 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
TLDR: volunteering will get you laid (via sex)
When you can’t afford Garfield’s licensing fee
October 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
When you can’t afford Garfield’s licensing fee