Christina Holland
@mortalwombat.info
Firebase JS at Google, wrote for Cracked. Blog posts, stories, and art at mortalwombat.info
Ladies and other purse carriers, what do you do with your purse when you are driving and you have someone sitting in the passenger seat? I'm really appreciating the Honda Odyssey's center cubby, most cars don't have any options at all
December 26, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Ladies and other purse carriers, what do you do with your purse when you are driving and you have someone sitting in the passenger seat? I'm really appreciating the Honda Odyssey's center cubby, most cars don't have any options at all
"Fuck friend and enter"
The Lord of The Rings movies were rated PG-13. By current rules that means that each film could contain one use of the word "Fuck". Which line are you altering to insert the most useful swear word?
"I can't carry it for you, but I can Fucking carry you"
"I can't carry it for you, but I can Fucking carry you"
December 26, 2025 at 10:06 PM
"Fuck friend and enter"
How could it possibly be made by Costco?
"What makes Costco’s Champagne so great is that it isn’t made by Costco," our Wirecutter tester writes. "This Champagne is really, really good for the price."
The Fizzy Joy of Cheap Costco Champagne
Stocking up on bottles of Champagne ahead of New Year’s Eve doesn’t have to empty your bank account.
nyti.ms
December 26, 2025 at 8:19 PM
How could it possibly be made by Costco?
Critical thinking means that if someone vagueposts "people here are just as bad as on Twitter" or "people are ready to jump on you over the most innocent things" that you look at their history and see what they specifically just got yelled at about before you reply "so true brother"
December 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Critical thinking means that if someone vagueposts "people here are just as bad as on Twitter" or "people are ready to jump on you over the most innocent things" that you look at their history and see what they specifically just got yelled at about before you reply "so true brother"
Hmm looks like the phone and text spammers had the day off yesterday, good for them
December 26, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Hmm looks like the phone and text spammers had the day off yesterday, good for them
Him taking a shot at the DMV probably is not unrelated to the DMV being about to ban Tesla car sales for 30 days unless he does something about his misleading self driving claims www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/news-...
December 26, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Him taking a shot at the DMV probably is not unrelated to the DMV being about to ban Tesla car sales for 30 days unless he does something about his misleading self driving claims www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/news-...
I don't know why people say there is too much complaining about AI when there clearly hasn't been enough complaining for people like this list-maker to realize it can't be depended on for things like this. People keep being surprised. List makers, lawyers, etc. The criticism has not reached them
#4 sounds like a lovely book but I didn't write it. Have had whānau up and down the country send me clippings lol
Whoever put together this list that has been circulated to regional papers, didn't fact check.
Whoever put together this list that has been circulated to regional papers, didn't fact check.
December 25, 2025 at 10:35 PM
I don't know why people say there is too much complaining about AI when there clearly hasn't been enough complaining for people like this list-maker to realize it can't be depended on for things like this. People keep being surprised. List makers, lawyers, etc. The criticism has not reached them
Some people are like, uh oh I can't remember some of the stuff I wrote. Me neither but if you read it back to me I'll have a strong opinion on it like "great line, I was a genius even then" or "oh God that's from my cringe era". If it's something I didn't write I'll just be like yup so that happened
December 25, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Some people are like, uh oh I can't remember some of the stuff I wrote. Me neither but if you read it back to me I'll have a strong opinion on it like "great line, I was a genius even then" or "oh God that's from my cringe era". If it's something I didn't write I'll just be like yup so that happened
I mean before it even starts getting really weird in the second paragraph he opens with "a friend told me race is just people's brains making patterns out of a collection of random traits they see but that's stupid because I can easily find patterns in random traits I see"
December 25, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I mean before it even starts getting really weird in the second paragraph he opens with "a friend told me race is just people's brains making patterns out of a collection of random traits they see but that's stupid because I can easily find patterns in random traits I see"
Reposted by Christina Holland
Reposted by Christina Holland
a lot of people don't realize that Christmas carols and traditions are actually folk memories of suppressed pre-Christian events, namely the end of the Third Age and the Fall of Sauron.
December 24, 2025 at 10:05 PM
a lot of people don't realize that Christmas carols and traditions are actually folk memories of suppressed pre-Christian events, namely the end of the Third Age and the Fall of Sauron.
I'm honestly surprised they sold any of these
December 24, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I'm honestly surprised they sold any of these
Reposted by Christina Holland
I think Chatterton would be a good name for a friendly skeleton butler
July 9, 2025 at 2:53 AM
I think Chatterton would be a good name for a friendly skeleton butler
Well it was worth a try
December 24, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Well it was worth a try
Reposted by Christina Holland
“Like prime, but with human beings”
December 24, 2025 at 6:17 PM
“Like prime, but with human beings”
Hey just made my morning coffee, tell me something surprising I can read as I take my first sip
December 24, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Hey just made my morning coffee, tell me something surprising I can read as I take my first sip
The annoying thing about this game is you can't turn on autosaves unless you get the Origen DLC??
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
December 24, 2025 at 6:21 PM
The annoying thing about this game is you can't turn on autosaves unless you get the Origen DLC??
Reposted by Christina Holland
"good to meet you, Jesus. I run the weapon store here in Jerusalem. To access upgrades for your weapons, I'll need you need to render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's"
December 24, 2025 at 2:35 PM
"good to meet you, Jesus. I run the weapon store here in Jerusalem. To access upgrades for your weapons, I'll need you need to render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's"
Reposted by Christina Holland
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
December 24, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
All right I've figured it out. It's the sentient Harry Potter sorting hat, telling the man he is a Hufflepuff
Tell me you want a servant without saying you're too insecure to handle a partner
December 24, 2025 at 9:13 AM
All right I've figured it out. It's the sentient Harry Potter sorting hat, telling the man he is a Hufflepuff
We were watching Phantom Menace and I was telling the kids how disappointed I was to find out Ray Park wasn't Asian (I think there needs to be a law about surname origin overlap) and he said "wait he's not?"
December 24, 2025 at 3:30 AM
We were watching Phantom Menace and I was telling the kids how disappointed I was to find out Ray Park wasn't Asian (I think there needs to be a law about surname origin overlap) and he said "wait he's not?"
Reposted by Christina Holland
Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
December 24, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
I don't know why people got mad about this, saying they hate video and they don't want to do it or watch it. I hate video too but the world is bigger than you or me. A lot of people get their info that way and you can yell at them to stop but they won't hear you because you're not a video
i have said this before but if you are actually interested in influencing people beyond a narrow circle of too-online journalists you will be making direct to camera videos on tiktok, instagram and youtube. if you primarily post on text-based social media then you're just dicking around.
December 24, 2025 at 1:13 AM
I don't know why people got mad about this, saying they hate video and they don't want to do it or watch it. I hate video too but the world is bigger than you or me. A lot of people get their info that way and you can yell at them to stop but they won't hear you because you're not a video
Sometimes Cracked commenters used to get mad when I mentioned in an article that I was Chinese, and accuse me of bringing it up to get attention and look special. But statistically that's the least special thing you can be
December 23, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Sometimes Cracked commenters used to get mad when I mentioned in an article that I was Chinese, and accuse me of bringing it up to get attention and look special. But statistically that's the least special thing you can be
Reposted by Christina Holland
i think whining about posters being too mean is pathetic but this website *is* full of dorks who spent the last decade watching funny people insult online foes & are now vibrating at the dream of racking up favs for dunking on someone online. many clumsy, repetitive insults from the "Yikes." crowd
December 22, 2025 at 9:42 PM
i think whining about posters being too mean is pathetic but this website *is* full of dorks who spent the last decade watching funny people insult online foes & are now vibrating at the dream of racking up favs for dunking on someone online. many clumsy, repetitive insults from the "Yikes." crowd