Michael Delaporta
@mdelaporta.bsky.social
Who that hath a throne, or a gilded privilege not attainable by his neighbor, let him procure his slippers & get ready to dance, for there is going to be music.
Pinned
The next Dem president should do to the IRS what Trump did to ICE. 10x their enforcement budget, arm them to the teeth, and have them repel from Blackhawk helicopters into boardrooms, country clubs and owner’s boxes to shake these goblins by their ankles until every last penny falls out.
Had he gotten his first choice, Trump would have ensured that Attorney General Matt Gaetz aggressively prosecuted this crime.
The woman whom the House Ethics Committee determined Matt Gaetz paid for sex when she was 17 years old was living in a homeless shelter, working at McDonald's, and needed the money for braces www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/u...
November 13, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Had he gotten his first choice, Trump would have ensured that Attorney General Matt Gaetz aggressively prosecuted this crime.
When your grades were amazing, but your report card fell out of your backpack and has been irretrievably lost…
Oof
*OCTOBER CPI AND JOBS DATA LIKELY WON'T BE RELEASED: WHITE HOUSE
*OCTOBER CPI AND JOBS DATA LIKELY WON'T BE RELEASED: WHITE HOUSE
November 12, 2025 at 10:54 PM
When your grades were amazing, but your report card fell out of your backpack and has been irretrievably lost…
WIFE: You’ve cleaned out the garage
ME: Yes
WIFE: Even though the garage is still dirty?
ME: Well I guess there’s ups and downs and seasonals
ME: Yes
WIFE: Even though the garage is still dirty?
ME: Well I guess there’s ups and downs and seasonals
HASSETT: We're comfortable that inflation has come way down
QUINTANILLA: Even though it's been increasing for 5 straight months?
HASSETT: Well I guess there's ups and downs and seasonals
November 11, 2025 at 9:41 PM
WIFE: You’ve cleaned out the garage
ME: Yes
WIFE: Even though the garage is still dirty?
ME: Well I guess there’s ups and downs and seasonals
ME: Yes
WIFE: Even though the garage is still dirty?
ME: Well I guess there’s ups and downs and seasonals
“Director Pulte also covered his eyes with his hands, and the President got scared, thinking he himself had become invisible…”
November 11, 2025 at 4:06 AM
“Director Pulte also covered his eyes with his hands, and the President got scared, thinking he himself had become invisible…”
Jeff Bezos, watching Fred Flintstone slide down the back of the brontosaurus as soon as the whistle sounds: “goddamn Mamdani-inspired socialist dystopia.”
This Washpost oped is every bit as awesome as its headline
November 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Jeff Bezos, watching Fred Flintstone slide down the back of the brontosaurus as soon as the whistle sounds: “goddamn Mamdani-inspired socialist dystopia.”
In the conversation for the dumbest political statement of 2025, and brother, the competition is *steep*…
Hassan: With the government reopening shortly, Republicans now finally have to come to the table. Or make no mistake, Americans will remember who stood in the way.
November 10, 2025 at 3:35 AM
In the conversation for the dumbest political statement of 2025, and brother, the competition is *steep*…
Connecticut is mostly rural, leafy and sparsely populated. If Montana, the Dakotas, Idaho, and Wyoming had the population density of Connecticut, we could double the U.S. population. Anyone who tells you he wants to “eliminate 100 million people” has reasons beyond housing policy.
November 9, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Connecticut is mostly rural, leafy and sparsely populated. If Montana, the Dakotas, Idaho, and Wyoming had the population density of Connecticut, we could double the U.S. population. Anyone who tells you he wants to “eliminate 100 million people” has reasons beyond housing policy.
A significant fraction of your friends, family and neighbors believe this is the pinnacle of masculine virility. They are happy that a man of this caliber is accumulating unprecedented, unaccountable power. Things are proceeding as they hoped they would.
November 8, 2025 at 10:56 PM
A significant fraction of your friends, family and neighbors believe this is the pinnacle of masculine virility. They are happy that a man of this caliber is accumulating unprecedented, unaccountable power. Things are proceeding as they hoped they would.
There will be two. They will be “Government-sponsored Enterprises”. We’ll call them “Chippy-Mae” and “Chippy-Mac”.
BREAKING: OpenAI is requesting US government support to help guarantee financing for the massive investments in AI chips and data centers it needs for expansion, per Bloomberg.
November 6, 2025 at 3:26 AM
There will be two. They will be “Government-sponsored Enterprises”. We’ll call them “Chippy-Mae” and “Chippy-Mac”.
Bari, interviewing her security detail: “and if someone yells ‘boo’ and makes a thumbs-down gesture, do you immediately shoot them or do I need to give you a sign?”
November 4, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Bari, interviewing her security detail: “and if someone yells ‘boo’ and makes a thumbs-down gesture, do you immediately shoot them or do I need to give you a sign?”
Solid advice from the richest man in the world, Cockface Smugfuckery III, or whatever his name is…
Elon Musk endorses Cuomo for mayor of New York and makes sure to add some racism in there: “…Mumdumi or whatever his name is.”
November 3, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Solid advice from the richest man in the world, Cockface Smugfuckery III, or whatever his name is…
If, during the course of your job, you find yourself composing an email that says “actually, it’s illegal to help hungry people eat”, fill your pockets with rocks and walk into the ocean.
The USDA sent an email to grocery stores telling them they are prohibited from offering special discounts to customers affected by the SNAP funding lapse.
I'm aware of at least 2 stores that had offered struggling customers a discount, then withdrew it after receiving this email
I'm aware of at least 2 stores that had offered struggling customers a discount, then withdrew it after receiving this email
November 3, 2025 at 3:37 AM
If, during the course of your job, you find yourself composing an email that says “actually, it’s illegal to help hungry people eat”, fill your pockets with rocks and walk into the ocean.
Vance only wants to live next to people who talk like him, so he’ll be relocating to 1939 Germany.
Vance says it is "totally reasonable and acceptable" for people to not want to live next door to people who speak a different language than they do
October 29, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Vance only wants to live next to people who talk like him, so he’ll be relocating to 1939 Germany.
Tim Walz is obvious a skilled public communicator, and you should never tell someone their job is easy, but holy Christmas why is virtually every other Dem politician so bad at this? This is like: “It’s the eighth inning of a blowout and the shortstop is pitching. Just don’t embarrass yourself…”
GOV. WALZ: “This is not both sides. This is owned by Republicans. Dems are willing to come back and protect what passed, not let an authoritarian president do whatever he wants… people will be lined up to get food and we’re talking about a damn ballroom? DON’T LOSE THE PLOT.”
October 27, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Tim Walz is obvious a skilled public communicator, and you should never tell someone their job is easy, but holy Christmas why is virtually every other Dem politician so bad at this? This is like: “It’s the eighth inning of a blowout and the shortstop is pitching. Just don’t embarrass yourself…”
The next Dem president should do to the IRS what Trump did to ICE. 10x their enforcement budget, arm them to the teeth, and have them repel from Blackhawk helicopters into boardrooms, country clubs and owner’s boxes to shake these goblins by their ankles until every last penny falls out.
October 25, 2025 at 2:55 PM
The next Dem president should do to the IRS what Trump did to ICE. 10x their enforcement budget, arm them to the teeth, and have them repel from Blackhawk helicopters into boardrooms, country clubs and owner’s boxes to shake these goblins by their ankles until every last penny falls out.
Reposted by Michael Delaporta
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
October 22, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
If you voluntarily connected your bed to the Internet, and then an Internet malfunction caused your bed to capture and cook you, I feel the universe is still in balance…
www.dexerto.com/entertainmen...
www.dexerto.com/entertainmen...
AWS crash causes $2,000 Smart Beds to overheat and get stuck upright - Dexerto
The AWS outage caused chaos for owners of Eight Sleep’s Pod3 mattresses as they had no offline mode and were stuck at high temperatures.
www.dexerto.com
October 22, 2025 at 11:45 PM
If you voluntarily connected your bed to the Internet, and then an Internet malfunction caused your bed to capture and cook you, I feel the universe is still in balance…
www.dexerto.com/entertainmen...
www.dexerto.com/entertainmen...
Me, with a warm vial: “Please count my particles…”
October 22, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Me, with a warm vial: “Please count my particles…”
Reporter: “Speaker Johnson, the President has just asserted the right of “Retroactive Prima Nocta” and will be at your home tonight. Any comment?”
Johnson: “This is the first I’m hearing of it; I’ll have to get back to you.”
Johnson: “This is the first I’m hearing of it; I’ll have to get back to you.”
October 22, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Reporter: “Speaker Johnson, the President has just asserted the right of “Retroactive Prima Nocta” and will be at your home tonight. Any comment?”
Johnson: “This is the first I’m hearing of it; I’ll have to get back to you.”
Johnson: “This is the first I’m hearing of it; I’ll have to get back to you.”
OK
October 20, 2025 at 1:39 AM
OK
Cunt:
Trump on immigrants: "They send up their worst people. They send up people that are criminals. They send up people from jails. And the best ones they send are people that don't work very hard and that are on a social form of welfare."
October 17, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Cunt:
We can look forward to not reading about it in the LA Times, Washington Post, CBS News, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Twitter, and (soon) on TikTok. But, we can still learn from the NY Times and Morning Joe how, actually, the Democrats are just as bad.
I really believe that huge majorities of Americans don’t want masked soldiers shooting priests in the street. They don’t want naked children ripped out out of their apartments in the middle of the night and handcuffed. We win by making sure these stories get told.
The same people who insisted devout Catholic Joe Biden was leading a “war on Christianity” are now cheering Trump on as his armed goons assault clergymen.
October 8, 2025 at 2:54 PM
We can look forward to not reading about it in the LA Times, Washington Post, CBS News, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Twitter, and (soon) on TikTok. But, we can still learn from the NY Times and Morning Joe how, actually, the Democrats are just as bad.
What was the toilet powered by before? I thought it was water. Was it actually plutonium and the mushrooms are an upgrade?
October 4, 2025 at 6:01 PM
What was the toilet powered by before? I thought it was water. Was it actually plutonium and the mushrooms are an upgrade?