Matt Bernhard
@mbernhard.com
ThEy WoN’t CaNcEl HuB-tO-hUb i say bitterly on my Delta flight from Detroit to Raleigh to Atlanta.
November 9, 2025 at 5:35 PM
ThEy WoN’t CaNcEl HuB-tO-hUb i say bitterly on my Delta flight from Detroit to Raleigh to Atlanta.
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
Begging more blogs and news sites to deploy functional RSS capabilities. I want to follow your stuff! Make it easier!
October 28, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Begging more blogs and news sites to deploy functional RSS capabilities. I want to follow your stuff! Make it easier!
Pay toilets: when nature calls collect
October 24, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Pay toilets: when nature calls collect
I was all excited that the @detroitredwingsnhl.bsky.social were on TNT tonight, only to find that it’s blacked out so I have to watch on FanDuel. Except FanDuel is having technical difficulties, so even though I pay for a subscription I can’t. How is any organization this bad, this consistently?
October 23, 2025 at 12:39 AM
I was all excited that the @detroitredwingsnhl.bsky.social were on TNT tonight, only to find that it’s blacked out so I have to watch on FanDuel. Except FanDuel is having technical difficulties, so even though I pay for a subscription I can’t. How is any organization this bad, this consistently?
*sad hooting sounds*
Which teams have the largest difference in rush yards per game vs pass yards per game?
October 15, 2025 at 8:09 PM
*sad hooting sounds*
The SEC really has it out for Auburn huh
October 12, 2025 at 1:19 AM
The SEC really has it out for Auburn huh
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
Game was a microcosm of the 2nd half of the season. Skubal dominates, all the bats do nothing (except for Kerry), Tigers pen hangs on by a thread and escapes miscues, Tigers bats still do nothing even with runners in scoring position, and eventually the game is blown
October 11, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Game was a microcosm of the 2nd half of the season. Skubal dominates, all the bats do nothing (except for Kerry), Tigers pen hangs on by a thread and escapes miscues, Tigers bats still do nothing even with runners in scoring position, and eventually the game is blown
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
"Oh yeah? You like baseball? What if I make you smoke *an entire pack* of baseball?"
October 11, 2025 at 4:52 AM
"Oh yeah? You like baseball? What if I make you smoke *an entire pack* of baseball?"
At this rate the ALDS will be a seven game series for once
October 11, 2025 at 4:49 AM
At this rate the ALDS will be a seven game series for once
Rob Manfred: Well well well look who’s complaining about extra inning games taking too long now that we don’t have a runner on second base
October 11, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Rob Manfred: Well well well look who’s complaining about extra inning games taking too long now that we don’t have a runner on second base
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
It’s the 859th inning. I no longer recognize myself. I am convinced that I am living in a simulation. T-Mobile park is crumbling. Javy Baez retired in the 802nd inning. AJ Hinch died of natural causes in the 827th.
Werner Herzog is filming a documentary about my life. I beg him to kill me.
Werner Herzog is filming a documentary about my life. I beg him to kill me.
It’s the 437th inning of game 5 of the ALDS. I now have a big bushy beard. I have been fired from my job. My family has abandoned me. The Tigers have loaded the bases with no outs for 32 consecutive innings but have not scored a single run.
October 11, 2025 at 4:36 AM
It’s the 859th inning. I no longer recognize myself. I am convinced that I am living in a simulation. T-Mobile park is crumbling. Javy Baez retired in the 802nd inning. AJ Hinch died of natural causes in the 827th.
Werner Herzog is filming a documentary about my life. I beg him to kill me.
Werner Herzog is filming a documentary about my life. I beg him to kill me.
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
It’s the 437th inning of game 5 of the ALDS. I now have a big bushy beard. I have been fired from my job. My family has abandoned me. The Tigers have loaded the bases with no outs for 32 consecutive innings but have not scored a single run.
October 11, 2025 at 4:16 AM
It’s the 437th inning of game 5 of the ALDS. I now have a big bushy beard. I have been fired from my job. My family has abandoned me. The Tigers have loaded the bases with no outs for 32 consecutive innings but have not scored a single run.
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
Me: oh, it's one of those sports furries!
husband: you mean a mascot?
husband: you mean a mascot?
October 11, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Me: oh, it's one of those sports furries!
husband: you mean a mascot?
husband: you mean a mascot?
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
The winner of this game will travel to Toronto to play Vladimir Guerrero III and the Blue Jays.
October 11, 2025 at 4:32 AM
The winner of this game will travel to Toronto to play Vladimir Guerrero III and the Blue Jays.
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
throw the ball, hit the ball, catch the ball. that's the name of the game right there
October 11, 2025 at 4:33 AM
throw the ball, hit the ball, catch the ball. that's the name of the game right there
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
I do not smoke and badly want a cigarette.
October 11, 2025 at 3:21 AM
I do not smoke and badly want a cigarette.
This game has run so long that the first game of the next series starts tomorrow
October 11, 2025 at 4:35 AM
This game has run so long that the first game of the next series starts tomorrow
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
AJ Hinch's inner chaos demon is going nuts at this point. We are 11 minutes from Jake Rogers warming up in the pen.
Surprise No GIF
ALT: Surprise No GIF
media.tenor.com
October 11, 2025 at 4:21 AM
AJ Hinch's inner chaos demon is going nuts at this point. We are 11 minutes from Jake Rogers warming up in the pen.
alright I guess this AJ Hinch guy knows what he’s doing
October 11, 2025 at 4:11 AM
alright I guess this AJ Hinch guy knows what he’s doing
How do you not pull Montero here
October 11, 2025 at 4:06 AM
How do you not pull Montero here
I crave the sweet release of death
October 11, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I crave the sweet release of death
Reposted by Matt Bernhard
baseball is the best preparation for death because it does not come with a clock that tells you when your suffering will end one way or the other
October 11, 2025 at 3:04 AM
baseball is the best preparation for death because it does not come with a clock that tells you when your suffering will end one way or the other
I am once again the proud owner of a nebulizer
October 10, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I am once again the proud owner of a nebulizer