Matthew Dessem
@matthewdessem.bsky.social
I’m the enchanting wizard of rhythm. I came here to tell you about the rhythms of the universe.
Pinned
Matthew Dessem
@matthewdessem.bsky.social
· Nov 16
Okay. Here are the TV settings you need to get the best picture possible out of an LG OLED. Mine is a C4--on older models some of the names are different. (If I have time some time I'll get the older setting names from a CX.)
How can it be that no one has cleared the rights to stream or sell MIA’s “Piracy Funds Terrorism” mixtape?
December 29, 2025 at 11:26 PM
How can it be that no one has cleared the rights to stream or sell MIA’s “Piracy Funds Terrorism” mixtape?
There I was, out for an afternoon walk with my umbrella gun, when who should I see across the grassy knoll but the President of the United States!
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 11:00 PM
There I was, out for an afternoon walk with my umbrella gun, when who should I see across the grassy knoll but the President of the United States!
Everyone says they’re feeding him AI slop but I think they’re just showing him clips from Dr. No.
Trump says this December 26 in an interview with John Catsimatidis that the US destroyed a drug trafficking plant in Venezuela on Christmas Eve.
“They have a big plant. A building from where the boats leave. Two nights ago we hit them hard.”
“They have a big plant. A building from where the boats leave. Two nights ago we hit them hard.”
December 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Everyone says they’re feeding him AI slop but I think they’re just showing him clips from Dr. No.
Ron Howard! Eden! I liked it!
December 28, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Ron Howard! Eden! I liked it!
In the 1985 Miami Vice episode “The Dutch Oven,” David Proval (Mean Streets) turns in such a perfect mid-1990s Pacino performance that I need to either rewatch Pacino’s biggest pre-1985 performances (Scarface, maybe?) or reevaluate the provenance of his whole deal.
December 28, 2025 at 11:15 PM
In the 1985 Miami Vice episode “The Dutch Oven,” David Proval (Mean Streets) turns in such a perfect mid-1990s Pacino performance that I need to either rewatch Pacino’s biggest pre-1985 performances (Scarface, maybe?) or reevaluate the provenance of his whole deal.
As far as I know there is barely such a thing as a luxury TV these days. Professional and industrial monitors don’t have tuners and I’ve never seen a consumer using them; flagship TVs have the same shitty ad-driven bells and whistles as the low-end models.
December 28, 2025 at 9:33 PM
As far as I know there is barely such a thing as a luxury TV these days. Professional and industrial monitors don’t have tuners and I’ve never seen a consumer using them; flagship TVs have the same shitty ad-driven bells and whistles as the low-end models.
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
CHATGPT: wow George you’re absolutely right. $8,000 is a lot of money. Mary would be better off without you.
December 27, 2025 at 10:21 PM
CHATGPT: wow George you’re absolutely right. $8,000 is a lot of money. Mary would be better off without you.
On Twitter, I used to do a yearly thread of the writing I was happiest with, and I think it’s time to bring that tradition over to Bluesky. 🧵
December 27, 2025 at 7:06 PM
On Twitter, I used to do a yearly thread of the writing I was happiest with, and I think it’s time to bring that tradition over to Bluesky. 🧵
Bob Barker gave away money and prizes. Bob Baker put on elaborate marionette shows. I’m not sure what this guy Bob Butcher I found on Craigslist does, but he says he’ll explain it all if I meet him tonight in Angeles National Forest. Expecting whimsy and delight!
December 26, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Bob Barker gave away money and prizes. Bob Baker put on elaborate marionette shows. I’m not sure what this guy Bob Butcher I found on Craigslist does, but he says he’ll explain it all if I meet him tonight in Angeles National Forest. Expecting whimsy and delight!
Wonder if I could convince UCLA I got an internship at the Wes Anderson Archive.
December 26, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Wonder if I could convince UCLA I got an internship at the Wes Anderson Archive.
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
The thousand injuries of Charlie Brown I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge.
December 25, 2025 at 6:23 PM
The thousand injuries of Charlie Brown I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
December 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
WANTED TO STAY UP AND SEE SANTA! WANTED TO SEE AND I SAW! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK, DAD! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK!
December 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
WANTED TO STAY UP AND SEE SANTA! WANTED TO SEE AND I SAW! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK, DAD! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK!
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
We don’t hear much about the West Pole, where Cowboy Santa lives. Probably because of all the people he’s shot
February 13, 2025 at 7:54 PM
We don’t hear much about the West Pole, where Cowboy Santa lives. Probably because of all the people he’s shot
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
I bought my wife an O. Henry book for Christmas and it turns out she just sold her eyes.
December 17, 2024 at 6:08 PM
I bought my wife an O. Henry book for Christmas and it turns out she just sold her eyes.
Normally Brian Wilson’s songwriting is impossible to improve but “Little Saint Nick” is clearly incomplete without Animal yowling, “Run! Run! Run! Run!” every chance he gets.
December 23, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Normally Brian Wilson’s songwriting is impossible to improve but “Little Saint Nick” is clearly incomplete without Animal yowling, “Run! Run! Run! Run!” every chance he gets.
One of the most satisfying things in all of music is the part of the song where you give a slightly-distorted electric guitar a big dramatic strum on an open chord and let it ring while the drums and bass take the lead. And Beethoven almost certainly never got to experience it.
December 23, 2025 at 1:44 AM
One of the most satisfying things in all of music is the part of the song where you give a slightly-distorted electric guitar a big dramatic strum on an open chord and let it ring while the drums and bass take the lead. And Beethoven almost certainly never got to experience it.
Hey, @criterion.bsky.social, YouTube just served me up an ad urging me to join ICE along with @rianjohnson.bsky.social's Criterion Closet video, you gotta opt out of that somehow.
December 22, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Hey, @criterion.bsky.social, YouTube just served me up an ad urging me to join ICE along with @rianjohnson.bsky.social's Criterion Closet video, you gotta opt out of that somehow.
Professionalizing is not always good for a profession. See also: libraries. The field had to professionalize to secure decent pay and even the tiniest bit of respect from researchers and academics, and it was a long fight, but part of the result was credentialism and strict hierarchies.
i say this with nothing but love for all of you to whom this applies, but the moral rot in elite journalism is because journalism is a trade and it should be done by tradespeople and instead it's been professionalized in a way that makes it cozy to capital instead
December 22, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Professionalizing is not always good for a profession. See also: libraries. The field had to professionalize to secure decent pay and even the tiniest bit of respect from researchers and academics, and it was a long fight, but part of the result was credentialism and strict hierarchies.
Two neighborhood kids built a wall of sandbags in their front yard and were playing a game where one of them put on a helmet and sat in a wagon and the other one pushed him at top speed into the wall, at which point he wiped out spectacularly, over and over again. Future stunt men, I guess?
December 22, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Two neighborhood kids built a wall of sandbags in their front yard and were playing a game where one of them put on a helmet and sat in a wagon and the other one pushed him at top speed into the wall, at which point he wiped out spectacularly, over and over again. Future stunt men, I guess?
So much of The Simpsons draws from the childhoods of the writers’ room (and the TV they grew up watching) that the earliest episodes of The Simpsons might as well be midcentury as late 80s / early 90s. Marge’s sisters come over to show slides from their vacation!
December 22, 2025 at 12:01 AM
So much of The Simpsons draws from the childhoods of the writers’ room (and the TV they grew up watching) that the earliest episodes of The Simpsons might as well be midcentury as late 80s / early 90s. Marge’s sisters come over to show slides from their vacation!
Watching “Red Heat,” which I knew as a VHS sleepover classic, and remembered as being all 1980s Robocop grays and silvers. And mostly that’s what it is, but every 25th shot or so has very aggressive use of color, which I did not remember.
December 20, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Watching “Red Heat,” which I knew as a VHS sleepover classic, and remembered as being all 1980s Robocop grays and silvers. And mostly that’s what it is, but every 25th shot or so has very aggressive use of color, which I did not remember.
Reposted by Matthew Dessem
going to the allergist because of my crippling allergy to ortolans
December 19, 2025 at 3:24 AM
going to the allergist because of my crippling allergy to ortolans
“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is the best wall of sound production, because it doesn’t go all out during the verses but when it does, wow. The piano hammering its way to the front of the mix at the end? Sometimes more is more.
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love on Apple Music
Song · 1963 · Duration 2:50
music.apple.com
December 19, 2025 at 2:56 AM
“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is the best wall of sound production, because it doesn’t go all out during the verses but when it does, wow. The piano hammering its way to the front of the mix at the end? Sometimes more is more.