Mark Oswin
@markoswin.bsky.social
Comedy screenwriter person. Danger Mouse, Strange Hill High, Lloyd of the Flies, So Awkward, 4 Kids & It. That kind of nonsense.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Reposted by Mark Oswin
🔴All the Big Government Reforms the Media Hasn’t Been Telling You About
You probably won’t have read much about these announcements over the past few weeks...
bylinetimes.com/2025/10/28/a...
You probably won’t have read much about these announcements over the past few weeks...
bylinetimes.com/2025/10/28/a...
October 28, 2025 at 10:38 AM
🔴All the Big Government Reforms the Media Hasn’t Been Telling You About
You probably won’t have read much about these announcements over the past few weeks...
bylinetimes.com/2025/10/28/a...
You probably won’t have read much about these announcements over the past few weeks...
bylinetimes.com/2025/10/28/a...
Reposted by Mark Oswin
Let me tell you a story (before the ship explodes):
October 24, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Let me tell you a story (before the ship explodes):
I notice the free speech warriors weren’t up in arms when hook-handed cleric Abu Hamza was done for inciting violence. What was it about hook-handed cleric Abu Hamza that stopped them defending his free speech?
September 3, 2025 at 7:09 PM
I notice the free speech warriors weren’t up in arms when hook-handed cleric Abu Hamza was done for inciting violence. What was it about hook-handed cleric Abu Hamza that stopped them defending his free speech?
Last month, while being bothered by wasps at a picnic table, a woman told me that clicking my fingers at them would make them go away. After testing this thoroughly I’m happy to report that it works in 90% of cases* and also makes me look like a wasp-banishing Fonz. Recommend.
August 20, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Last month, while being bothered by wasps at a picnic table, a woman told me that clicking my fingers at them would make them go away. After testing this thoroughly I’m happy to report that it works in 90% of cases* and also makes me look like a wasp-banishing Fonz. Recommend.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
North Bridge Media has sponsored a Fringe Award w/Neurodiverse Review and the shortlist is out! It's for comedy writing in any Fringe category by d/Deaf, disabled or neurodivergent writers. Here's the fantastic shortlist - all great shows: (1/2)
August 20, 2025 at 12:00 PM
North Bridge Media has sponsored a Fringe Award w/Neurodiverse Review and the shortlist is out! It's for comedy writing in any Fringe category by d/Deaf, disabled or neurodivergent writers. Here's the fantastic shortlist - all great shows: (1/2)
Reposted by Mark Oswin
The ongoing whipped up nonsense about asylum seekers in hotels is a rare example of very angry consensus.
The racists don’t want people in hotels, the government don’t want people in hotels and the people in the hotels don’t want to be in hotels.
Everyone agrees.
Just let people work
The racists don’t want people in hotels, the government don’t want people in hotels and the people in the hotels don’t want to be in hotels.
Everyone agrees.
Just let people work
August 20, 2025 at 9:40 AM
The ongoing whipped up nonsense about asylum seekers in hotels is a rare example of very angry consensus.
The racists don’t want people in hotels, the government don’t want people in hotels and the people in the hotels don’t want to be in hotels.
Everyone agrees.
Just let people work
The racists don’t want people in hotels, the government don’t want people in hotels and the people in the hotels don’t want to be in hotels.
Everyone agrees.
Just let people work
Grand Prix of Europe opens in UK cinemas this Friday. Positive reviews are already coming in for this fun, fast-paced rodent racing movie - which features a stellar cast (Gemma Arterton, Thomas Brodie-Sanger, Hatley Atwell, Lenny Henry) and smatterings of general script-polishy nonsense by me.
August 19, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Grand Prix of Europe opens in UK cinemas this Friday. Positive reviews are already coming in for this fun, fast-paced rodent racing movie - which features a stellar cast (Gemma Arterton, Thomas Brodie-Sanger, Hatley Atwell, Lenny Henry) and smatterings of general script-polishy nonsense by me.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
Oh, this is very, very good - how LLMs use the same techniques as psychics.
softwarecrisis.dev/letters/llme...
softwarecrisis.dev/letters/llme...
The LLMentalist Effect: how chat-based Large Language Models rep…
The new era of tech seems to be built on superstitious behaviour
softwarecrisis.dev
August 12, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Oh, this is very, very good - how LLMs use the same techniques as psychics.
softwarecrisis.dev/letters/llme...
softwarecrisis.dev/letters/llme...
Reposted by Mark Oswin
made a handy little novel title generator for you
August 5, 2025 at 6:00 PM
made a handy little novel title generator for you
Reposted by Mark Oswin
DuckDuckGo has added a feature to filter out AI images from search results.
August 2, 2025 at 8:00 PM
DuckDuckGo has added a feature to filter out AI images from search results.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
Read my open letter with @laylamoran.bsky.social regarding #Gaza ⬇️
It is as bad as we have ever seen it.
The scenes of famine in Gaza are simply barbaric.
As MPs of Israeli and Palestinian descent, we hope though that recognition of the State of Palestine will serve to flame the embers of hope for peace.
My open letter with @alexsobel.co.uk
The scenes of famine in Gaza are simply barbaric.
As MPs of Israeli and Palestinian descent, we hope though that recognition of the State of Palestine will serve to flame the embers of hope for peace.
My open letter with @alexsobel.co.uk
August 1, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Read my open letter with @laylamoran.bsky.social regarding #Gaza ⬇️
Reposted by Mark Oswin
Please don't plug keyboards or other devices into random USB ports, ok?
July 29, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Please don't plug keyboards or other devices into random USB ports, ok?
Hey YouTube, if you actively want me to stop me ever buying Lucozade ever, the best way to do it would be to interrupt the limited-time Cardiacs video I'm trying to watch every two ACTUAL MINUTES asking if I can let you see me, let you see me Cherry fucking Hill.
July 29, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Hey YouTube, if you actively want me to stop me ever buying Lucozade ever, the best way to do it would be to interrupt the limited-time Cardiacs video I'm trying to watch every two ACTUAL MINUTES asking if I can let you see me, let you see me Cherry fucking Hill.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
Sadly, the BBC rejected my proposal that they should replace all the Wallace & Torode segments from the new Masterchef with a quick animated summary by 7-zark-7.
July 23, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Sadly, the BBC rejected my proposal that they should replace all the Wallace & Torode segments from the new Masterchef with a quick animated summary by 7-zark-7.
SO regret I won’t get the chance to let Mecha-hitler take control of my steering wheel.
Grok AI to be available in Tesla vehicles next week, Musk says reut.rs/4ksb1WX
Grok AI to be available in Tesla vehicles next week, Musk says
Grok AI will be available in Tesla vehicles next week "at the latest", the EV maker's CEO, Elon Musk, said in a post on X on Thursday.
reut.rs
July 10, 2025 at 12:07 PM
SO regret I won’t get the chance to let Mecha-hitler take control of my steering wheel.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
I'm currently at a housing conference & it's a slightly out of body experience politically, given the vibe here is thrilled with getting £39bn + basically all they asked for in spending review. Not that govt isn't in deep trouble elsewhere but it's a striking eg of how easily the popular stuff...
June 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I'm currently at a housing conference & it's a slightly out of body experience politically, given the vibe here is thrilled with getting £39bn + basically all they asked for in spending review. Not that govt isn't in deep trouble elsewhere but it's a striking eg of how easily the popular stuff...
If I knew how to quote post to a thread, I’d post this as a reply to me complaining about Northern city transport links last week, and say something smug like “Well well well…”
Haven’t even had time to post this. Chancellor is going hard on Manchester-Liverpool railway project as part of capital spending splurge
on.ft.com/43LEbu7
on.ft.com/43LEbu7
Rachel Reeves to back Manchester-Liverpool rail link in transport spending boost
[FREE TO READ] Chancellor lines up £113bn infrastructure investment package as part of next week’s government spending review
on.ft.com
June 4, 2025 at 6:12 AM
If I knew how to quote post to a thread, I’d post this as a reply to me complaining about Northern city transport links last week, and say something smug like “Well well well…”
Reposted by Mark Oswin
“They are building a techno-authoritarian surveillance state. We can see that happening in real time. This is huge amounts of data on every single person in America that can and will be used in opaque & unaccountable ways—and it is terrifying.”
Must watch interview with @carolecadwalla.bsky.social.
Must watch interview with @carolecadwalla.bsky.social.
Carole Cadwalladr - Broligarchs, AI, and a Techno-Authoritarian Surveillance State | The Daily Show
YouTube video by The Daily Show
youtu.be
June 3, 2025 at 2:01 PM
“They are building a techno-authoritarian surveillance state. We can see that happening in real time. This is huge amounts of data on every single person in America that can and will be used in opaque & unaccountable ways—and it is terrifying.”
Must watch interview with @carolecadwalla.bsky.social.
Must watch interview with @carolecadwalla.bsky.social.
Reposted by Mark Oswin
When you receive the email you’ve been dreading, about how your outstanding royalties will now *not* be honoured by your ex-publisher’s new shiny identity, they try to reassure you by saying this person or that person on the board is “working for free” and “not taking a salary”… >>
May 30, 2025 at 9:15 AM
When you receive the email you’ve been dreading, about how your outstanding royalties will now *not* be honoured by your ex-publisher’s new shiny identity, they try to reassure you by saying this person or that person on the board is “working for free” and “not taking a salary”… >>
Reposted by Mark Oswin
I am begging for a Hollywood movie or TV writer to make something that features realistic 'artificial intelligence'
May 24, 2025 at 7:35 PM
I am begging for a Hollywood movie or TV writer to make something that features realistic 'artificial intelligence'
Hey fans of animated movies that I wrote additional material and dialogue polish on - have a look at the trailer to this animated movie that I wrote additional material and dialogue polish on… www.grand-prix-of-europe.com/en/
Cinema film 'GRAND PRIXE OF EUROPE'
The cinema adventure for the whole family featuring Europa-Park's favourites Ed & Edda
www.grand-prix-of-europe.com
May 22, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Hey fans of animated movies that I wrote additional material and dialogue polish on - have a look at the trailer to this animated movie that I wrote additional material and dialogue polish on… www.grand-prix-of-europe.com/en/
My mate Cussie makes the paper…!
"What the **** are you doing that for?"
Two Leeds United fans and their 15-game, 4000-mile FA Cup Odyssey. Magic.
#lufc
www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk//sport/footb...
Two Leeds United fans and their 15-game, 4000-mile FA Cup Odyssey. Magic.
#lufc
www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk//sport/footb...
Leeds United News: 15-game FA Cup representatives end 4,000-mile Odyssey at Wembley
Leeds United will have representation at Saturday's FA Cup final at Wembley just as they have at all previous 13 rounds.
www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk
May 15, 2025 at 3:50 PM
My mate Cussie makes the paper…!
Hm. The government focussing on the number one concern of Leave voters just ahead of a major reset with the EU… I wonder what it could all mean…?
May 12, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Hm. The government focussing on the number one concern of Leave voters just ahead of a major reset with the EU… I wonder what it could all mean…?
