Lucy Porter
@lucyportercomic.bsky.social
Pinned
Lucy Porter
@lucyportercomic.bsky.social
· Nov 16
Hello. I’m Lucy, this is Bernard. He came to us as a scruffy but rakishly charming stray. He stared at us through the window and wouldn’t budge. Our other two cats eventually allowed him in. Now he sleeps with his tummy on full display and guards our boxes of cat food for us.
Reposted by Lucy Porter
There's too many #glasto channels. Someone will say "loving Max Geldray on the Poppyfield stage" and then I have to spend five minutes checking BBCs One, Two, Three, Four, plus eight online feeds - one of which is currently showing Radiohead from 1997. I feel like a Gallery Producer losing his grip.
June 27, 2025 at 8:45 PM
There's too many #glasto channels. Someone will say "loving Max Geldray on the Poppyfield stage" and then I have to spend five minutes checking BBCs One, Two, Three, Four, plus eight online feeds - one of which is currently showing Radiohead from 1997. I feel like a Gallery Producer losing his grip.
I always find something new to love when I come to Bristol, and this time it’s that they’ve made a second hand clothes/ craft/ art space in the old M&S. Reminds me of Afflecks Palace in Manchester when I was a youngster. sparksbristol.co.uk
June 26, 2025 at 11:58 PM
I always find something new to love when I come to Bristol, and this time it’s that they’ve made a second hand clothes/ craft/ art space in the old M&S. Reminds me of Afflecks Palace in Manchester when I was a youngster. sparksbristol.co.uk
This Bristol estate agent is bringing ‘internet recipe blogger’ energy to its listings. It’s very sweet, but I really just want to know how many toilets there are
June 26, 2025 at 11:26 PM
This Bristol estate agent is bringing ‘internet recipe blogger’ energy to its listings. It’s very sweet, but I really just want to know how many toilets there are
Sleep, box like a gentleman (Queensberry Rules, opponent - a fly), then sleep a bit more. Our cat Bernard is living the life of a Victorian opium addict.
May 29, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Sleep, box like a gentleman (Queensberry Rules, opponent - a fly), then sleep a bit more. Our cat Bernard is living the life of a Victorian opium addict.
I’m so old that I’m getting into embroidery, but equally, I’m so immature that when people talk about their hoops, I presume they’re talking about their bumholes.
May 27, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I’m so old that I’m getting into embroidery, but equally, I’m so immature that when people talk about their hoops, I presume they’re talking about their bumholes.
Reposted by Lucy Porter
Is Lady Marmalade from the Moulin Rouge song Paddington’s girlfriend
May 23, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Is Lady Marmalade from the Moulin Rouge song Paddington’s girlfriend
Finally, the male equivalent of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’
May 24, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Finally, the male equivalent of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’
Reposted by Lucy Porter
Everyone used to write down what was on #totp every week right? With little drawings depicting what you thought of the song?
And for obvious reasons this episode from 1979 won’t be shown on telly……
And for obvious reasons this episode from 1979 won’t be shown on telly……
November 29, 2024 at 7:58 PM
Everyone used to write down what was on #totp every week right? With little drawings depicting what you thought of the song?
And for obvious reasons this episode from 1979 won’t be shown on telly……
And for obvious reasons this episode from 1979 won’t be shown on telly……
Reposted by Lucy Porter
Reposted by Lucy Porter
"Everyone else in this class uses the front door, while you fall in backwards through the upstairs window. I pray to St. Jude every time I open your homework." - my high school maths teacher on my general aptitude for numbers.
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
November 21, 2024 at 10:23 AM
"Everyone else in this class uses the front door, while you fall in backwards through the upstairs window. I pray to St. Jude every time I open your homework." - my high school maths teacher on my general aptitude for numbers.
Reposted by Lucy Porter
I was expelled. That was pretty bad feedback
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
November 21, 2024 at 9:07 AM
I was expelled. That was pretty bad feedback
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
November 21, 2024 at 8:27 AM
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”
From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.
Reposted by Lucy Porter
Well, might as well start porting these over.
🎭 Dramatic Monologue: 'S Club Party' by S Club 7
🎭 Dramatic Monologue: 'S Club Party' by S Club 7
November 19, 2024 at 9:26 AM
Well, might as well start porting these over.
🎭 Dramatic Monologue: 'S Club Party' by S Club 7
🎭 Dramatic Monologue: 'S Club Party' by S Club 7
Reposted by Lucy Porter
IPA
M People
LPGA
URL
The connection.
M People
LPGA
URL
The connection.
November 19, 2024 at 7:39 AM
IPA
M People
LPGA
URL
The connection.
M People
LPGA
URL
The connection.
Heard my husband singing softly in the other room, thought he was serenading the cats, but he was doing this:
A song to remind me of the most useful phrases I have learnt from Italian Duolingo. (Sound up)
November 18, 2024 at 6:37 PM
Heard my husband singing softly in the other room, thought he was serenading the cats, but he was doing this:
Wasn’t sure if this should be “who’s” or “whose” so, naturally, I got out my phone to check …
November 18, 2024 at 9:31 AM
Wasn’t sure if this should be “who’s” or “whose” so, naturally, I got out my phone to check …
Reposted by Lucy Porter
- Excuse me, what's the difference between the chicken strip meal and the chicken Möbius strip meal?
- The chicken strip meal comes with two sides...
- The chicken strip meal comes with two sides...
November 18, 2024 at 7:16 AM
- Excuse me, what's the difference between the chicken strip meal and the chicken Möbius strip meal?
- The chicken strip meal comes with two sides...
- The chicken strip meal comes with two sides...
Reposted by Lucy Porter
- Hello, RSPCA.
- Hello. There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan.
- I don't believe you.
- Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret.
- Hello. There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan.
- I don't believe you.
- Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret.
November 17, 2024 at 8:06 PM
- Hello, RSPCA.
- Hello. There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan.
- I don't believe you.
- Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret.
- Hello. There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan.
- I don't believe you.
- Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret.
Reposted by Lucy Porter
Actors who can cure my lisp?
I'm pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I'm going to ask Colin Firth.
I'm pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I'm going to ask Colin Firth.
November 13, 2024 at 7:28 AM
Actors who can cure my lisp?
I'm pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I'm going to ask Colin Firth.
I'm pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I'm going to ask Colin Firth.
This is what I’m reading right now. 3 chapters in. Delightful so far.
November 16, 2024 at 12:58 AM
This is what I’m reading right now. 3 chapters in. Delightful so far.
Reposted by Lucy Porter
This is Appa, our eldest’s stray who came in from the cold about 5 years ago. She’s around 12-14 years old and likes to hide in the bottom of our wardrobe when she visits
November 16, 2024 at 12:32 AM
This is Appa, our eldest’s stray who came in from the cold about 5 years ago. She’s around 12-14 years old and likes to hide in the bottom of our wardrobe when she visits
Hello. I’m Lucy, this is Bernard. He came to us as a scruffy but rakishly charming stray. He stared at us through the window and wouldn’t budge. Our other two cats eventually allowed him in. Now he sleeps with his tummy on full display and guards our boxes of cat food for us.
November 16, 2024 at 12:18 AM
Hello. I’m Lucy, this is Bernard. He came to us as a scruffy but rakishly charming stray. He stared at us through the window and wouldn’t budge. Our other two cats eventually allowed him in. Now he sleeps with his tummy on full display and guards our boxes of cat food for us.