I always find something new to love when I come to Bristol, and this time it’s that they’ve made a second hand clothes/ craft/ art space in the old M&S. Reminds me of Afflecks Palace in Manchester when I was a youngster. sparksbristol.co.uk

This Bristol estate agent is bringing ‘internet recipe blogger’ energy to its listings. It’s very sweet, but I really just want to know how many toilets there are

Sleep, box like a gentleman (Queensberry Rules, opponent - a fly), then sleep a bit more. Our cat Bernard is living the life of a Victorian opium addict.

I’m so old that I’m getting into embroidery, but equally, I’m so immature that when people talk about their hoops, I presume they’re talking about their bumholes.

Finally, the male equivalent of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’

Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:

“Lazy, disinterested and content to do only the minimum”

From my PE teacher. I think she meant “uninterested” but other than that it’s all still true.

Wasn’t sure if this should be “who’s” or “whose” so, naturally, I got out my phone to check …

This is what I’m reading right now. 3 chapters in. Delightful so far.

Hello. I’m Lucy, this is Bernard. He came to us as a scruffy but rakishly charming stray. He stared at us through the window and wouldn’t budge. Our other two cats eventually allowed him in. Now he sleeps with his tummy on full display and guards our boxes of cat food for us.