Liam Kirkaldy
@liamkirkaldy.bsky.social
Comms and freelance journalism. Bylines in the FT, Guardian, the Times, Big Issue, the Herald, Scotsman etc. Still trying to convince the people of Nigeria to forgive Dundee United.
Delighted to announce I've been asked to reboot the Bond franchise. My current plan is to remake each film - exactly as they were - but with child actors, and as a TV series. 9 hour long episodes per film/season. Jaws will be played by the gangliest kid I can find - no acting experience required.
Because the mind-blowing thing is they were right! I hated the Craig films, but they were incredibly successful! I really hope now Barbara Broccoli is not involved we might start getting candid interviews about her process and thinking.
November 11, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Delighted to announce I've been asked to reboot the Bond franchise. My current plan is to remake each film - exactly as they were - but with child actors, and as a TV series. 9 hour long episodes per film/season. Jaws will be played by the gangliest kid I can find - no acting experience required.
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
Anyone know how you teach a 2 year old to pronounce the word "fork" properly? Or how to stop bellowing the word when they do say it? I won't lie, it is becoming quite embarrassing
November 7, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Anyone know how you teach a 2 year old to pronounce the word "fork" properly? Or how to stop bellowing the word when they do say it? I won't lie, it is becoming quite embarrassing
I'm not writing it but 'who is Scotland's Zohran Mamdani?' would be a really fun sketch. Lot of space to have fun there
Scotland’s progressive left has no shortage of ideas or passion, but if it wants to take on the far-right and find electoral success, it needs a figure (or figures) who can channel both into a movement that feels alive, writes James Walker ✍️
November 5, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I'm not writing it but 'who is Scotland's Zohran Mamdani?' would be a really fun sketch. Lot of space to have fun there
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
we can chalk it up to youth and inexperience but the biggest mistake the mamdani campaign made was winning by 8.8% and not 1.5%, which is the margin needed for the media to say it’s a total mandate
November 5, 2025 at 2:25 PM
we can chalk it up to youth and inexperience but the biggest mistake the mamdani campaign made was winning by 8.8% and not 1.5%, which is the margin needed for the media to say it’s a total mandate
“Bark Park is not simply a museum. It is simultaneously my home, my laboratory, and a living environment inhabited by my own creations. Its strength lies in that integration — where I live, love, and invent among my wows." This is an excellent story www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/2559442...
Row over 'eyesore' front garden is at stalemate after bid to move it
PLANS to explore an alternative venue for a Fife man’s ‘Bark Park’ creation in his front garden appear to have reached a stalemate after…
www.dunfermlinepress.com
November 5, 2025 at 12:28 PM
“Bark Park is not simply a museum. It is simultaneously my home, my laboratory, and a living environment inhabited by my own creations. Its strength lies in that integration — where I live, love, and invent among my wows." This is an excellent story www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/2559442...
That's actually only one of the lies from Goodwin here. He is also lying about having any friends.
The sheer greasy desperation from these bastards that any violent crime is committed by an immigrant so they can continue their grift. Even when they know it isn't true. Foul.
Matt Goodwin attributes a crime that he now knows appears to have been committed by people born in Britain in the early 1990s to "mass uncontrolled immigration"
November 2, 2025 at 3:58 PM
That's actually only one of the lies from Goodwin here. He is also lying about having any friends.
The [redacted for legal reasons] formerly known as Prince
October 30, 2025 at 8:24 PM
The [redacted for legal reasons] formerly known as Prince
The next election is in May.
Lots of Labour despair on the timeline today.
The next election is likely more than three years away. The route to winning it starts by acknowledging that some more short term pain is probably required to get into a position where victory is possible.
This budget is going to be painful. But 1/3
The next election is likely more than three years away. The route to winning it starts by acknowledging that some more short term pain is probably required to get into a position where victory is possible.
This budget is going to be painful. But 1/3
October 28, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The next election is in May.
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
Catherine Connolly got more votes than any other president in history - any pol corr or commentator trying to convince you that the story is actually the spoiled votes is showing you their whole arse, and should be treated accordingly.
October 25, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Catherine Connolly got more votes than any other president in history - any pol corr or commentator trying to convince you that the story is actually the spoiled votes is showing you their whole arse, and should be treated accordingly.
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
huge respect for this
October 20, 2025 at 11:44 AM
huge respect for this
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
polanski is doing well because the strategy of everybody to his right has been hippy punching for what feels like forever and there are now enough hippies who don’t like being punched to show up in polling
October 15, 2025 at 1:38 PM
polanski is doing well because the strategy of everybody to his right has been hippy punching for what feels like forever and there are now enough hippies who don’t like being punched to show up in polling
On my way to Aberdeen for SNP conference. The train is delayed because a dog got on the track "and ran around for a while". They didn't say where it happened- i couldn't see a dog at waverley. A very fancy looking older lady got on the train and said someone was in her seat. He got up to move...
October 11, 2025 at 4:53 PM
On my way to Aberdeen for SNP conference. The train is delayed because a dog got on the track "and ran around for a while". They didn't say where it happened- i couldn't see a dog at waverley. A very fancy looking older lady got on the train and said someone was in her seat. He got up to move...
The fight itself is significant, but what's even more significant is what the fight says about my enemies
I like English degrees and I like apprenticeships. But which one is better? Only one way to find out: FIGHT.
October 8, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The fight itself is significant, but what's even more significant is what the fight says about my enemies
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
Pitting English degrees against apprenticeships is so facile and reductive but everything has to be pitted against something else nowadays We live in the age of the zero-sum game.
October 8, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Pitting English degrees against apprenticeships is so facile and reductive but everything has to be pitted against something else nowadays We live in the age of the zero-sum game.
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
As Charli XCX and Taylor Swift are both descendants of the Scottish diaspora, this is actually a continuation of the Highland-Lowland divide, the eternal struggle between the Gael and the Gall, and as such
October 3, 2025 at 12:47 PM
As Charli XCX and Taylor Swift are both descendants of the Scottish diaspora, this is actually a continuation of the Highland-Lowland divide, the eternal struggle between the Gael and the Gall, and as such
Lot of judgement for taking a toddler home through a storm this evening. Naturally she refused to wear either her hood or have top of the pram up. Sat there cackling to herself at the rain, while I got looks. A private hire stopped & asked if we were ok (offered to cancel his job to take us)... 1/2
October 3, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Lot of judgement for taking a toddler home through a storm this evening. Naturally she refused to wear either her hood or have top of the pram up. Sat there cackling to herself at the rain, while I got looks. A private hire stopped & asked if we were ok (offered to cancel his job to take us)... 1/2
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
Happy #NationalPoetryDay 📕 I have chosen the shortest poem in my book ‘Barbed Halo’ to share with you as it fits nicely with this most sinister of months. Viva October!
October 2, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Happy #NationalPoetryDay 📕 I have chosen the shortest poem in my book ‘Barbed Halo’ to share with you as it fits nicely with this most sinister of months. Viva October!
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
a spokesman for BrewDog said 'this is the one thing we didn't want to happen'
October 2, 2025 at 1:29 PM
a spokesman for BrewDog said 'this is the one thing we didn't want to happen'
I have to say I am ashamed of a lot of you. I thought we had moved past the point where we shame people simply for cutting the half time orange.
September 30, 2025 at 10:06 PM
I have to say I am ashamed of a lot of you. I thought we had moved past the point where we shame people simply for cutting the half time orange.
The former leader of Reform in Wales has admitted taking bribes to make statements in support of Russia. This should be a massive story
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bb...
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bb...
Redirect Notice
www.google.com
September 26, 2025 at 6:39 PM
The former leader of Reform in Wales has admitted taking bribes to make statements in support of Russia. This should be a massive story
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bb...
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bb...
Reposted by Liam Kirkaldy
spending hours a day sucking the vacuum hose against my belly for as long as I can endure in preparation for the day I need to plug the missing door hole on a transatlantic flight
June 27, 2024 at 6:48 PM
spending hours a day sucking the vacuum hose against my belly for as long as I can endure in preparation for the day I need to plug the missing door hole on a transatlantic flight
Hey everyone, I'm reporting live from the new national seagull summit - there are so many seagulls here. They're pecking and biting at me. Why did we convene all these seagulls for talks? What did we think we would learn from this? It's just me trapped in a room with 10,000 seagulls.
September 23, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Hey everyone, I'm reporting live from the new national seagull summit - there are so many seagulls here. They're pecking and biting at me. Why did we convene all these seagulls for talks? What did we think we would learn from this? It's just me trapped in a room with 10,000 seagulls.
I see a lot of people laughing about the Jeremy Corbyn - Zahra Sultana fallout, all of it overplayed in my view. In years to come this will be seen as a hiccup in Your Party's rise to dominance. Why? Corbyn is simply too good at winning over internal party critics to let this escalate.
September 22, 2025 at 1:15 PM
I see a lot of people laughing about the Jeremy Corbyn - Zahra Sultana fallout, all of it overplayed in my view. In years to come this will be seen as a hiccup in Your Party's rise to dominance. Why? Corbyn is simply too good at winning over internal party critics to let this escalate.