Kalki
@kalki.bsky.social
Reposted by Kalki
Sometimes, the bullet dodges you.
October 4, 2023 at 12:11 AM
Sometimes, the bullet dodges you.
Reposted by Kalki
*taps on your head*
Hello? Is this thing on?
Hello? Is this thing on?
October 4, 2023 at 12:17 AM
*taps on your head*
Hello? Is this thing on?
Hello? Is this thing on?
Reposted by Kalki
Reposted by Kalki
The guys who make jokes about women's aging breasts are gently cupping their balls so they don't touch the toilet water in order to poop right now
The more you know 🌈
The more you know 🌈
October 4, 2023 at 12:24 AM
The guys who make jokes about women's aging breasts are gently cupping their balls so they don't touch the toilet water in order to poop right now
The more you know 🌈
The more you know 🌈
Reposted by Kalki
Hell hath no fury like the parent of a kindergartener practicing on their recorder.
October 4, 2023 at 12:28 AM
Hell hath no fury like the parent of a kindergartener practicing on their recorder.
Reposted by Kalki
I’m not always miserable. Sometimes I wear pajamas during the day.
October 4, 2023 at 12:48 AM
I’m not always miserable. Sometimes I wear pajamas during the day.
Reposted by Kalki
Reposted by Kalki
Reposted by Kalki
I can fit a lot of cheeseballs in my mouth *me flirting* 
October 4, 2023 at 1:04 AM
I can fit a lot of cheeseballs in my mouth *me flirting* 
Reposted by Kalki
Her: did you join the gym?
Me: no
H: why not?
M: they said it would be a bad look for them
Me: no
H: why not?
M: they said it would be a bad look for them
October 4, 2023 at 1:04 AM
Her: did you join the gym?
Me: no
H: why not?
M: they said it would be a bad look for them
Me: no
H: why not?
M: they said it would be a bad look for them
Reposted by Kalki
Dick jokes because what else are they good for
October 4, 2023 at 1:10 AM
Dick jokes because what else are they good for
Reposted by Kalki
this mullet is getting way out of control
October 4, 2023 at 1:22 AM
this mullet is getting way out of control
Reposted by Kalki
*very mocking voice* "yeah I bet it was s a l m o n e l l a"
*immediately shits pants*
*immediately shits pants*
October 4, 2023 at 1:37 AM
*very mocking voice* "yeah I bet it was s a l m o n e l l a"
*immediately shits pants*
*immediately shits pants*
Reposted by Kalki
Mike’s Hard Spaceballs the movie was better than the book
October 4, 2023 at 1:38 AM
Mike’s Hard Spaceballs the movie was better than the book
Reposted by Kalki
As much love for you as the percentage of regret in “we regret to inform."
October 4, 2023 at 1:42 AM
As much love for you as the percentage of regret in “we regret to inform."
Reposted by Kalki
*hands you a list of impossible demands*
"I shall retire to my chambers where I presume the burgers will be eating themselves..."
"I shall retire to my chambers where I presume the burgers will be eating themselves..."
October 4, 2023 at 1:44 AM
*hands you a list of impossible demands*
"I shall retire to my chambers where I presume the burgers will be eating themselves..."
"I shall retire to my chambers where I presume the burgers will be eating themselves..."
Reposted by Kalki
I got on your level and it’s a joke
October 4, 2023 at 1:47 AM
I got on your level and it’s a joke
Reposted by Kalki
Everyone forgets the 4.5 Circle of Hell, where you're trapped forever in a stuck elevator with a bunch of angry people talking about crypto
October 4, 2023 at 1:52 AM
Everyone forgets the 4.5 Circle of Hell, where you're trapped forever in a stuck elevator with a bunch of angry people talking about crypto
Reposted by Kalki
Another beautiful sunset tonight
October 4, 2023 at 2:03 AM
Another beautiful sunset tonight