Jock Cartier
@jockcartier.bsky.social
Pirate of the St. Lawrence. Absurdist. Dry, sarcastic, sardonic, occasionally funny. Rambling about whatever occurs to me. Usually sports & Canadiana
Ariel Helwani did an "I Believe" retrospective segment... and I may quit on the Olympics now
a close up of a person 's face with the words " the horror , the horror " written below it
ALT: a close up of a person 's face with the words " the horror , the horror " written below it
media.tenor.com
February 18, 2026 at 5:24 AM
Ariel Helwani did an "I Believe" retrospective segment... and I may quit on the Olympics now
Screw you guys. I'm walking back to Norway
February 18, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Screw you guys. I'm walking back to Norway
Why did they stop referring to national sleds by number?
Is it true that it’s because Pierre Leuders kept complaining that everyone called him a huge “Canada #2” even when he piloted #1
Is it true that it’s because Pierre Leuders kept complaining that everyone called him a huge “Canada #2” even when he piloted #1
Germany will win the Olympic 2-man bobsled race. Adam Ammour slides into the lead with Francesco Friedrich and Johannes Lochner still to go.
Ammour is likely going to be GER-1 after these Olympics with Friedrich and Lochner both likely retiring after the Games.
Ammour is likely going to be GER-1 after these Olympics with Friedrich and Lochner both likely retiring after the Games.
Germany's swept so many podiums this year, in part because of Adam Ammour's great season.
Huge start by the German, and he's up big early. Hanging with Del Duca's time, and coming back late. Not a great drive by Ammour, comes back by .2 but will be no worse than bronze!
Huge start by the German, and he's up big early. Hanging with Del Duca's time, and coming back late. Not a great drive by Ammour, comes back by .2 but will be no worse than bronze!
February 18, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Why did they stop referring to national sleds by number?
Is it true that it’s because Pierre Leuders kept complaining that everyone called him a huge “Canada #2” even when he piloted #1
Is it true that it’s because Pierre Leuders kept complaining that everyone called him a huge “Canada #2” even when he piloted #1
I've always said, the Olympics haven't truly started until the weather has blown the schedule to hell... so forgive me if something gets moved! #HosersGuide Day 12!
Medal Threats:
Short Track - Men's 500 and Women's Relay
Snowboard - Men's and Women's Slopestyle
Medal Threats:
Short Track - Men's 500 and Women's Relay
Snowboard - Men's and Women's Slopestyle
February 18, 2026 at 2:13 AM
I've always said, the Olympics haven't truly started until the weather has blown the schedule to hell... so forgive me if something gets moved! #HosersGuide Day 12!
Medal Threats:
Short Track - Men's 500 and Women's Relay
Snowboard - Men's and Women's Slopestyle
Medal Threats:
Short Track - Men's 500 and Women's Relay
Snowboard - Men's and Women's Slopestyle
I've subjected myself to a lot of bad commentary the last 11 days... but no one even comes close to the biathlon.
I'm not entirely convinced the lady isn't bad AI. Has no idea about the sport, and over enunciates random words and names
KEY-LOM-EE-TER REE-LAY from MEE-LAA-NO CORE-TEE-NA
I'm not entirely convinced the lady isn't bad AI. Has no idea about the sport, and over enunciates random words and names
KEY-LOM-EE-TER REE-LAY from MEE-LAA-NO CORE-TEE-NA
February 18, 2026 at 1:46 AM
I've subjected myself to a lot of bad commentary the last 11 days... but no one even comes close to the biathlon.
I'm not entirely convinced the lady isn't bad AI. Has no idea about the sport, and over enunciates random words and names
KEY-LOM-EE-TER REE-LAY from MEE-LAA-NO CORE-TEE-NA
I'm not entirely convinced the lady isn't bad AI. Has no idea about the sport, and over enunciates random words and names
KEY-LOM-EE-TER REE-LAY from MEE-LAA-NO CORE-TEE-NA
Reposted by Jock Cartier
Bucsis is describing the #NordicCombined results in the same tone I would use to talk about a Mammoth vs Blue Jackets game. 😂
#milanocortina2026 #CBC
#milanocortina2026 #CBC
February 18, 2026 at 1:32 AM
Bucsis is describing the #NordicCombined results in the same tone I would use to talk about a Mammoth vs Blue Jackets game. 😂
#milanocortina2026 #CBC
#milanocortina2026 #CBC
It kinda looks like they're on a podium when already on top of the podium
February 18, 2026 at 12:50 AM
It kinda looks like they're on a podium when already on top of the podium
February 17, 2026 at 9:44 PM
The Winter Olympics don’t truly start until the weather shoots the schedule to hell
February 17, 2026 at 8:52 PM
The Winter Olympics don’t truly start until the weather shoots the schedule to hell
Reposted by Jock Cartier
It absolutely bugs me that there's a section of the sliding track they call the chicane but it's clearly a hairpin.
February 17, 2026 at 8:25 PM
It absolutely bugs me that there's a section of the sliding track they call the chicane but it's clearly a hairpin.
Reposted by Jock Cartier
We had our Canadian Correspondent Joey explain the Curling 🥌 Beef 🥩 between Canada 🇨🇦 and Sweden 🇸🇪
February 17, 2026 at 8:23 PM
We had our Canadian Correspondent Joey explain the Curling 🥌 Beef 🥩 between Canada 🇨🇦 and Sweden 🇸🇪
We need an occasional reminder why no one misses those goblins and their BS
Eteri bonus, I did not miss you at all. #Olympics ⛸️
February 17, 2026 at 8:19 PM
We need an occasional reminder why no one misses those goblins and their BS
I’m kinda curious about the science and process to finding and repairing all the gouges in the ice between groups
February 17, 2026 at 8:15 PM
I’m kinda curious about the science and process to finding and repairing all the gouges in the ice between groups
That kinda the problem with the judged sports. Entertaining as they are, it’s all kinda hollow
*Spinny-flippy* 4th
*Spinny-flippy* 6th
*Spinny-flippy* 1st
These have been around for several cycles and even the athletes are still mystified by the scoring
*Spinny-flippy* 4th
*Spinny-flippy* 6th
*Spinny-flippy* 1st
These have been around for several cycles and even the athletes are still mystified by the scoring
I am investigating the judges in skiing big air. There is no way the Norwegian guy's flippies and spinnies were better than the American guy's flippies and spinnies. I'm furious
February 17, 2026 at 8:06 PM
That kinda the problem with the judged sports. Entertaining as they are, it’s all kinda hollow
*Spinny-flippy* 4th
*Spinny-flippy* 6th
*Spinny-flippy* 1st
These have been around for several cycles and even the athletes are still mystified by the scoring
*Spinny-flippy* 4th
*Spinny-flippy* 6th
*Spinny-flippy* 1st
These have been around for several cycles and even the athletes are still mystified by the scoring
Freestyle skiing used to be all about the nose candy... now it's the nose butter
February 17, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Freestyle skiing used to be all about the nose candy... now it's the nose butter
Seems like flippy-spinny is dangerous enough without also going into the fences
The men's ski flippy-spinny is absolutely fucking insane.
February 17, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Seems like flippy-spinny is dangerous enough without also going into the fences
When you grow up around curling, you just kinda accept these things... you forget that to the outside world so much of this stuff is just weird AF 😂
He is beauty.
He is grace.
He is allegedly getting a buttload of media requests.
It’s the Pebbling Dude, the Michael Jackson of Misting, the head ice technician for curling, Moonwalking Mark Callan.
He is grace.
He is allegedly getting a buttload of media requests.
It’s the Pebbling Dude, the Michael Jackson of Misting, the head ice technician for curling, Moonwalking Mark Callan.
February 17, 2026 at 7:21 PM
When you grow up around curling, you just kinda accept these things... you forget that to the outside world so much of this stuff is just weird AF 😂
I have questions...
Never forget cellobutt #MilanoCortina2026
February 17, 2026 at 6:54 PM
I have questions...
Feels much more Olympic when it's dumping a foot of snow outside. That first week when it was +8 everyday and you could see grass wasn't very wintery
February 17, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Feels much more Olympic when it's dumping a foot of snow outside. That first week when it was +8 everyday and you could see grass wasn't very wintery
There is a surprising amount going on in this article… but I keep going back to the photo caption of “the balls were comfy”
February 17, 2026 at 6:33 PM
There is a surprising amount going on in this article… but I keep going back to the photo caption of “the balls were comfy”
They really need to do something about the format. Every year you get a team sandbagging their semi-final, which also lets their opposition coast… and gives both an advantage over tired opponents in the medal races
China did it this year, and went in to bronze. Fortunately Italy won gold regardless
China did it this year, and went in to bronze. Fortunately Italy won gold regardless
Silver for the USA Men in Team Pursuit.. Italy Wins Gold...China gets Bronze over Netherlands by .06 secs
February 17, 2026 at 6:22 PM
They really need to do something about the format. Every year you get a team sandbagging their semi-final, which also lets their opposition coast… and gives both an advantage over tired opponents in the medal races
China did it this year, and went in to bronze. Fortunately Italy won gold regardless
China did it this year, and went in to bronze. Fortunately Italy won gold regardless
Reposted by Jock Cartier
$200 of cat toys that never get played with, while his favourite thing in the world is a paper straw
February 17, 2026 at 6:10 PM
$200 of cat toys that never get played with, while his favourite thing in the world is a paper straw
We've entered the stretch run. #HosersGuide Day 11
Medal Threats:
- Speed Skating - Women's Team Pursuit - Weidemann, Blondin, and Maltais defend their 2022 gold, are top qualifier, which gives them a favourable matchup in the semi
- Freestyle - Mens Big Air - Deshamps looks to follow Oldham's lead
Medal Threats:
- Speed Skating - Women's Team Pursuit - Weidemann, Blondin, and Maltais defend their 2022 gold, are top qualifier, which gives them a favourable matchup in the semi
- Freestyle - Mens Big Air - Deshamps looks to follow Oldham's lead
February 17, 2026 at 5:00 AM
We've entered the stretch run. #HosersGuide Day 11
Medal Threats:
- Speed Skating - Women's Team Pursuit - Weidemann, Blondin, and Maltais defend their 2022 gold, are top qualifier, which gives them a favourable matchup in the semi
- Freestyle - Mens Big Air - Deshamps looks to follow Oldham's lead
Medal Threats:
- Speed Skating - Women's Team Pursuit - Weidemann, Blondin, and Maltais defend their 2022 gold, are top qualifier, which gives them a favourable matchup in the semi
- Freestyle - Mens Big Air - Deshamps looks to follow Oldham's lead
My new favourite commentary of the games...
February 17, 2026 at 2:47 AM
My new favourite commentary of the games...