Jack Q. Riley
@jackandjillcpl.bsky.social
Fortysomething polyam atheist geek/horror fan/Oxford comma aficionado/nazi puncher with library cards in four NorCal counties. Elon hater before it was cool. Suburban and boring, but in a surprisingly sexy way. Often NSFW. He/him.
Pinned
Jack Q. Riley
@jackandjillcpl.bsky.social
· Nov 15
I want to fuck you in a room littered with the corpses of Nazis we killed as foreplay.
Made it home safely. The party was great, and I hung out with a bunch of high school people who clearly think I'm a good dude. Virtually all these people are divorced, separated, or unmarried. So it wasn't weird at all.
Oh, and I imbibed kava for the first time.
Oh, and I imbibed kava for the first time.
February 1, 2026 at 10:35 AM
Made it home safely. The party was great, and I hung out with a bunch of high school people who clearly think I'm a good dude. Virtually all these people are divorced, separated, or unmarried. So it wasn't weird at all.
Oh, and I imbibed kava for the first time.
Oh, and I imbibed kava for the first time.
Last time I saw this guy was at our thirty-year reunion in 2024. Last time before that was some random weekday in 2022 when he happened to be in town and a mutual ex-classmate asked me to meet them somewhere to surprise him. Last time before that? Probably his fortieth birthday party ten years ago.
Tonight I'm attending a birthday party for a friend from high school. Ninety minutes going, ninety minutes coming. Doubt I'll know many people there. I'd bail, but it's probably the only party invite I'll get before December so I might as well go.
February 1, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Last time I saw this guy was at our thirty-year reunion in 2024. Last time before that was some random weekday in 2022 when he happened to be in town and a mutual ex-classmate asked me to meet them somewhere to surprise him. Last time before that? Probably his fortieth birthday party ten years ago.
Tonight I'm attending a birthday party for a friend from high school. Ninety minutes going, ninety minutes coming. Doubt I'll know many people there. I'd bail, but it's probably the only party invite I'll get before December so I might as well go.
February 1, 2026 at 2:07 AM
Tonight I'm attending a birthday party for a friend from high school. Ninety minutes going, ninety minutes coming. Doubt I'll know many people there. I'd bail, but it's probably the only party invite I'll get before December so I might as well go.
My Mom: Come have some pancakes with us [even though I know you're watching your carbs], and be sure to use this maple syrup with 24 grams of sugar and not the sugar-free kind [even though I know you're pre-diabetic].
Also my Mom: Please don't drink while you're out tonight. I worry about you.
Also my Mom: Please don't drink while you're out tonight. I worry about you.
January 31, 2026 at 6:12 PM
My Mom: Come have some pancakes with us [even though I know you're watching your carbs], and be sure to use this maple syrup with 24 grams of sugar and not the sugar-free kind [even though I know you're pre-diabetic].
Also my Mom: Please don't drink while you're out tonight. I worry about you.
Also my Mom: Please don't drink while you're out tonight. I worry about you.
I did a lot of bending, compressing, and heavy lifting today, and if someone would like to come by in about an hour - when I'll hopefully be wrapping up for the night - and walk on my back for a few minutes, that would be great.
January 31, 2026 at 3:20 AM
I did a lot of bending, compressing, and heavy lifting today, and if someone would like to come by in about an hour - when I'll hopefully be wrapping up for the night - and walk on my back for a few minutes, that would be great.
I wanted to call attention to the fact that one of these internet CD-ROMs was distributed by K-Mart, which got into the dial-up internet game in the late '90s. Inexplicably, it appears NetZero retained the brand name when they acquired BlueLight rather than changing it to something more appealing.
January 30, 2026 at 10:13 PM
I wanted to call attention to the fact that one of these internet CD-ROMs was distributed by K-Mart, which got into the dial-up internet game in the late '90s. Inexplicably, it appears NetZero retained the brand name when they acquired BlueLight rather than changing it to something more appealing.
Anybody remember these?
January 30, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Anybody remember these?
Dick Tracy has really fallen on hard times.
Wearing a cross outside the mustard suit brings the ensemble all together.
January 30, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Dick Tracy has really fallen on hard times.
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley
I'm in the mood to watch a movie that climaxes with nazis dying. Should I watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, Inglourious Basterds, Casablanca, or something else?
(Much like the aforementioned movies, I also climax when nazis die.)
(Much like the aforementioned movies, I also climax when nazis die.)
February 16, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I'm in the mood to watch a movie that climaxes with nazis dying. Should I watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, Inglourious Basterds, Casablanca, or something else?
(Much like the aforementioned movies, I also climax when nazis die.)
(Much like the aforementioned movies, I also climax when nazis die.)
A text message to my daughter in response to a complaint about an overcompensating MAGA dickhead at her school.
Ward Cleaver never doled out fatherly advice like this.
Ward Cleaver never doled out fatherly advice like this.
January 30, 2026 at 1:28 AM
A text message to my daughter in response to a complaint about an overcompensating MAGA dickhead at her school.
Ward Cleaver never doled out fatherly advice like this.
Ward Cleaver never doled out fatherly advice like this.
Fiction lied to me. It told me that there were good people in positions of power who show up and shut down a bad situation. Yoda. Dumbledore. Gandalf. Superman. Optimus Prime. But the truth is, most people in positions of power are evil, gutless, or both, and it's up to all of us to fix this.
January 30, 2026 at 1:19 AM
Fiction lied to me. It told me that there were good people in positions of power who show up and shut down a bad situation. Yoda. Dumbledore. Gandalf. Superman. Optimus Prime. But the truth is, most people in positions of power are evil, gutless, or both, and it's up to all of us to fix this.
It feels like my personal doomsday clock is at five to midnight. I'd like to bump that back to, like, 11:30 at least.
January 29, 2026 at 10:52 PM
It feels like my personal doomsday clock is at five to midnight. I'd like to bump that back to, like, 11:30 at least.
Rough night, rough morning. I've got therapy starting five minutes ago, so hopefully I can address all of it if she ever shows up.
January 29, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Rough night, rough morning. I've got therapy starting five minutes ago, so hopefully I can address all of it if she ever shows up.
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley
I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good.
Stay free
Stay free
Bruce Springsteen - Streets Of Minneapolis (Official Audio)
YouTube video by Bruce Springsteen
youtu.be
January 28, 2026 at 5:02 PM
I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good.
Stay free
Stay free
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley
ICE Agent Stuffs Sock Under Mask To Give Himself Chin
January 28, 2026 at 9:00 PM
ICE Agent Stuffs Sock Under Mask To Give Himself Chin
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley
Almost 100% of democrats need to be pressure washed out of that building
SCHUMER says Democrats are “united” behind three DHS reforms
1/ End roving patrols; tighten the rules on warrants and require ICE to coordinate with local authorities.
2/ Enforce accountability; a uniform code of conduct.
3/ Require masks off, body cameras on, agents carry ID.
1/ End roving patrols; tighten the rules on warrants and require ICE to coordinate with local authorities.
2/ Enforce accountability; a uniform code of conduct.
3/ Require masks off, body cameras on, agents carry ID.
January 28, 2026 at 8:48 PM
Almost 100% of democrats need to be pressure washed out of that building
Hey, is "six-seven" over?
January 28, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Hey, is "six-seven" over?
Imagine a world where Rob Schneider retired from acting the day after his last "Copy Room Guy" sketch aired on SNL and lived a quiet life doing literally anything that didn't put his name anywhere I might read it.
Shaken…not woke. 100% bourbon. 0% safe space. Alcohol, not “I’ll call you by pronouns”. Rob Schneider, not “Adam and Steve”. I’ll drink to that, not “abortion is a medical procedure”. I’ll have what she’s having, not “alcohol woke is advertisement Bud Light when drinks are what you want in sipping”
January 28, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Imagine a world where Rob Schneider retired from acting the day after his last "Copy Room Guy" sketch aired on SNL and lived a quiet life doing literally anything that didn't put his name anywhere I might read it.
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley
this is, unfortunately, the time for us to once again call our senators and say fuck you try again
SCHUMER says Democrats are “united” behind three DHS reforms
1/ End roving patrols; tighten the rules on warrants and require ICE to coordinate with local authorities.
2/ Enforce accountability; a uniform code of conduct.
3/ Require masks off, body cameras on, agents carry ID.
1/ End roving patrols; tighten the rules on warrants and require ICE to coordinate with local authorities.
2/ Enforce accountability; a uniform code of conduct.
3/ Require masks off, body cameras on, agents carry ID.
January 28, 2026 at 8:37 PM
this is, unfortunately, the time for us to once again call our senators and say fuck you try again
Add "abolish ICE and prosecute everyone from the foot soldiers all the way to the top", and I'll get behind this.
SCHUMER says Democrats are “united” behind three DHS reforms
1/ End roving patrols; tighten the rules on warrants and require ICE to coordinate with local authorities.
2/ Enforce accountability; a uniform code of conduct.
3/ Require masks off, body cameras on, agents carry ID.
1/ End roving patrols; tighten the rules on warrants and require ICE to coordinate with local authorities.
2/ Enforce accountability; a uniform code of conduct.
3/ Require masks off, body cameras on, agents carry ID.
January 28, 2026 at 9:30 PM
Add "abolish ICE and prosecute everyone from the foot soldiers all the way to the top", and I'll get behind this.
Update: they've got it if you go into the actual place. Not on the menu board, but they'll make it on request.
In the last hour I found out my favorite Bay Area sandwich joint has a location less than a mile from where I am right now, and the sandwich of theirs that I like is no longer available, and you can't build your own (at least, not when ordering online).
I realize this is a first-world problem.
I realize this is a first-world problem.
January 28, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Update: they've got it if you go into the actual place. Not on the menu board, but they'll make it on request.
In the last hour I found out my favorite Bay Area sandwich joint has a location less than a mile from where I am right now, and the sandwich of theirs that I like is no longer available, and you can't build your own (at least, not when ordering online).
I realize this is a first-world problem.
I realize this is a first-world problem.
January 28, 2026 at 9:19 PM
In the last hour I found out my favorite Bay Area sandwich joint has a location less than a mile from where I am right now, and the sandwich of theirs that I like is no longer available, and you can't build your own (at least, not when ordering online).
I realize this is a first-world problem.
I realize this is a first-world problem.
My biggest nightmare is that there won't be video.
my biggest nightmare is that I won’t be looking at my phone when It Happens
January 28, 2026 at 5:48 PM
My biggest nightmare is that there won't be video.
Someone in an action figure subreddit posted a series of images of superheroes fighting fascism and I'm into it.
From the MarvelLegends community on Reddit: Anti-🧊 Street Justice Series
Explore this post and more from the MarvelLegends community
www.reddit.com
January 28, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Someone in an action figure subreddit posted a series of images of superheroes fighting fascism and I'm into it.
"Your online space is an exclusive nightclub. Your DMs are the velvet ropes, a metaphoric boundary between those who are afforded your time and attention and those who are not. When someone sneaks past the velvet rope, the block button is the bouncer who tosses him face-first into an alley."
I told her not to feed the trolls, nor hesitate to block. She already knows all of this. I also asked her not to send me screenshots of threatening or misogynistic messages she receives. The following is my reasoning as I explained it to her:
Today my kid got her first - how did she word it? - "hate reply" on Instagram, to a political post. When she told me, she included three "elated" emojis, so clearly she's proud of herself. I warned her of the threats she's likely to receive in future; naturally, she was aware of the possibility.
January 28, 2026 at 4:49 PM
"Your online space is an exclusive nightclub. Your DMs are the velvet ropes, a metaphoric boundary between those who are afforded your time and attention and those who are not. When someone sneaks past the velvet rope, the block button is the bouncer who tosses him face-first into an alley."