I Am A Pyrite King
@iamapyriteking.bsky.social
Mining fools' good since before you were born. I can either tell you who I am, or show you who I am, but on social media it's tough to do both.
Remove a letter, ruin a film:
His Hose
His Hose
Mother of Ears
and she needs them to hear that damn Mother of Sighs
and she needs them to hear that damn Mother of Sighs
Remove a letter, ruin a film:
Let's Care Jessica to Death
The story of an overly-protective husband and his poor wife.
Let's Care Jessica to Death
The story of an overly-protective husband and his poor wife.
February 13, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Remove a letter, ruin a film:
His Hose
His Hose
So did Trump's award come with any Coal's Cash?
February 13, 2026 at 1:53 AM
So did Trump's award come with any Coal's Cash?
Reposted by I Am A Pyrite King
In addition to lending us his talents on-screen, Trace Beaulieu will be art director for MST3K: The RiffTrax Experiments!
www.kickstarter.com/projects/rif...
www.kickstarter.com/projects/rif...
February 12, 2026 at 6:03 PM
In addition to lending us his talents on-screen, Trace Beaulieu will be art director for MST3K: The RiffTrax Experiments!
www.kickstarter.com/projects/rif...
www.kickstarter.com/projects/rif...
Reposted by I Am A Pyrite King
Are you kidding me?! Is this... is this what good news feels like?!
My gods. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful it can feel.
My gods. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful it can feel.
February 12, 2026 at 7:36 PM
Are you kidding me?! Is this... is this what good news feels like?!
My gods. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful it can feel.
My gods. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful it can feel.
I can't help but wonder about this horrible SAFE Act:
Who's more likely to have a passport, MAGA or the lib'ral elite?
What women are more likely to keep their own names after marriage, Trumpy tradwives or liberals, feminists, single moms and other menaces to the GOP "Natural Order o' Things"?
🤔
Who's more likely to have a passport, MAGA or the lib'ral elite?
What women are more likely to keep their own names after marriage, Trumpy tradwives or liberals, feminists, single moms and other menaces to the GOP "Natural Order o' Things"?
🤔
February 12, 2026 at 8:02 PM
I can't help but wonder about this horrible SAFE Act:
Who's more likely to have a passport, MAGA or the lib'ral elite?
What women are more likely to keep their own names after marriage, Trumpy tradwives or liberals, feminists, single moms and other menaces to the GOP "Natural Order o' Things"?
🤔
Who's more likely to have a passport, MAGA or the lib'ral elite?
What women are more likely to keep their own names after marriage, Trumpy tradwives or liberals, feminists, single moms and other menaces to the GOP "Natural Order o' Things"?
🤔
Reposted by I Am A Pyrite King
Brick (2005)
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)
Have asked this before and always like the responses. What are your biggest “I saw that in the first run cinema” flexes? Couple of mine:
Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
Office Space (1999)
Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
Office Space (1999)
February 11, 2026 at 11:42 PM
Brick (2005)
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)
It's true: NOBODY expected the "Spanish" inquisition.
Alford: "On Bad Bunny - we're still investigating. There's info out about the lyrics. I don't speak fluent Spanish, but if it's true what was said on natl TV, we have a lot of Qs for entities that broadcast it & we'll be talking w/ the FCC. This could be worse than the Janet wardrobe malfunction"
February 11, 2026 at 1:13 AM
It's true: NOBODY expected the "Spanish" inquisition.
Age verification?
I predate cable TV AND home video. I was a virtuoso with the UHF knob on my black and white TV. I walked to school alone in 1st grade. My family got bottles of milk from a vending machine down the street. We got dressed up to go out to eat. My birth certificate's a CAVE PAINTING.
I predate cable TV AND home video. I was a virtuoso with the UHF knob on my black and white TV. I walked to school alone in 1st grade. My family got bottles of milk from a vending machine down the street. We got dressed up to go out to eat. My birth certificate's a CAVE PAINTING.
Age verification?
When I got my first pizza place check at 16, I took my family out to see Godzilla 98'... and eat pizza.
When I got my first pizza place check at 16, I took my family out to see Godzilla 98'... and eat pizza.
February 10, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Age verification?
I predate cable TV AND home video. I was a virtuoso with the UHF knob on my black and white TV. I walked to school alone in 1st grade. My family got bottles of milk from a vending machine down the street. We got dressed up to go out to eat. My birth certificate's a CAVE PAINTING.
I predate cable TV AND home video. I was a virtuoso with the UHF knob on my black and white TV. I walked to school alone in 1st grade. My family got bottles of milk from a vending machine down the street. We got dressed up to go out to eat. My birth certificate's a CAVE PAINTING.
Share one of your favorite movie posters
February 7, 2026 at 12:01 AM
Share one of your favorite movie posters
No new pictures. Where are you mentally?
February 6, 2026 at 9:57 PM
No new pictures. Where are you mentally?
I spent WAAAAY too much money yesterday on Lunar New Year food & snacks, which only I will end up eating. 我是大胖子. Tôi sẽ rất béo.
I'm worth it 🤪. It's the year of the Fire Horse. I'm a Fire Horse: it's my auspicious 60th year. Even my Chinese name has a horse in it, so I'm considering this My Year.
I'm worth it 🤪. It's the year of the Fire Horse. I'm a Fire Horse: it's my auspicious 60th year. Even my Chinese name has a horse in it, so I'm considering this My Year.
February 6, 2026 at 6:29 PM
I spent WAAAAY too much money yesterday on Lunar New Year food & snacks, which only I will end up eating. 我是大胖子. Tôi sẽ rất béo.
I'm worth it 🤪. It's the year of the Fire Horse. I'm a Fire Horse: it's my auspicious 60th year. Even my Chinese name has a horse in it, so I'm considering this My Year.
I'm worth it 🤪. It's the year of the Fire Horse. I'm a Fire Horse: it's my auspicious 60th year. Even my Chinese name has a horse in it, so I'm considering this My Year.
I get my news from reliable source.
February 6, 2026 at 3:35 AM
I get my news from reliable source.
Name a black and white film.
February 5, 2026 at 8:19 PM
Name a black and white film.
Alternative titles for MELANIA:
TRIUMPH OF THE SWILL
A SLOVENIAN FILM
SALOPE, OR 20 DAYS OF SOD 'EM
A NIGHTMARE ON PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
I SPIT ON YOUR CONSTITUTION
TRIUMPH OF THE SWILL
A SLOVENIAN FILM
SALOPE, OR 20 DAYS OF SOD 'EM
A NIGHTMARE ON PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
I SPIT ON YOUR CONSTITUTION
February 5, 2026 at 8:07 PM
Alternative titles for MELANIA:
TRIUMPH OF THE SWILL
A SLOVENIAN FILM
SALOPE, OR 20 DAYS OF SOD 'EM
A NIGHTMARE ON PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
I SPIT ON YOUR CONSTITUTION
TRIUMPH OF THE SWILL
A SLOVENIAN FILM
SALOPE, OR 20 DAYS OF SOD 'EM
A NIGHTMARE ON PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
I SPIT ON YOUR CONSTITUTION
Superbowl? Nah. If I want to watch people engaged in strenuous physical activity that I could never hope to keep up with, well... that's what porn is for.
February 5, 2026 at 3:08 PM
Superbowl? Nah. If I want to watch people engaged in strenuous physical activity that I could never hope to keep up with, well... that's what porn is for.
Blazing Saddles
Django (1966)
A Fistful of Dollars
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Great Silence
Massacre Time
Oblivion (🤪 1994; it counts!)
Once Upon a Time in the West
Unforgiven
The Valley of Gwangi (🦖🤠 it counts!)
Django (1966)
A Fistful of Dollars
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Great Silence
Massacre Time
Oblivion (🤪 1994; it counts!)
Once Upon a Time in the West
Unforgiven
The Valley of Gwangi (🦖🤠 it counts!)
February 5, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Blazing Saddles
Django (1966)
A Fistful of Dollars
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Great Silence
Massacre Time
Oblivion (🤪 1994; it counts!)
Once Upon a Time in the West
Unforgiven
The Valley of Gwangi (🦖🤠 it counts!)
Django (1966)
A Fistful of Dollars
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Great Silence
Massacre Time
Oblivion (🤪 1994; it counts!)
Once Upon a Time in the West
Unforgiven
The Valley of Gwangi (🦖🤠 it counts!)
I only watch porn to learn how normal people interact socially. Being shy and socially awkward myself, I study these movies and memorize the dialogue for use in public situations later.
I mean, it seems to work REALLY well for them...
I mean, it seems to work REALLY well for them...
I only watch porn to glean the various original contexts of their waaay bigger-budgeted, albeit entirely sexless, parody films. Y'know, "Jurassic PARK" instead of "Pork"; "Star WARS" instead of "Whores"... you know what I mean.
I only watch porn to document and advocate for the great hands-on care that nurses give to their patients.
February 4, 2026 at 3:17 AM
I only watch porn to learn how normal people interact socially. Being shy and socially awkward myself, I study these movies and memorize the dialogue for use in public situations later.
I mean, it seems to work REALLY well for them...
I mean, it seems to work REALLY well for them...
They said liberals were trafficking children, but it turned out this was the oligarchs.
They said liberals were consuming kids' blood, but now the oligarchs ADMIT they do this to maintain their youth.
But they also said liberals were lizard people in human skin suits, and... now I'm just waiting.
They said liberals were consuming kids' blood, but now the oligarchs ADMIT they do this to maintain their youth.
But they also said liberals were lizard people in human skin suits, and... now I'm just waiting.
February 2, 2026 at 4:31 AM
They said liberals were trafficking children, but it turned out this was the oligarchs.
They said liberals were consuming kids' blood, but now the oligarchs ADMIT they do this to maintain their youth.
But they also said liberals were lizard people in human skin suits, and... now I'm just waiting.
They said liberals were consuming kids' blood, but now the oligarchs ADMIT they do this to maintain their youth.
But they also said liberals were lizard people in human skin suits, and... now I'm just waiting.
Yesterday I was eating some qatayef filled pancakes. My kitten came in and stole one right out of the box, and ran away growling to murder it like a mouse.
Tonight, I heard a bonk bonk bonk sound, and in comes Tissue Box Head to visit.
That's my boy! 🤦♂️🤪
Tonight, I heard a bonk bonk bonk sound, and in comes Tissue Box Head to visit.
That's my boy! 🤦♂️🤪
February 2, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Yesterday I was eating some qatayef filled pancakes. My kitten came in and stole one right out of the box, and ran away growling to murder it like a mouse.
Tonight, I heard a bonk bonk bonk sound, and in comes Tissue Box Head to visit.
That's my boy! 🤦♂️🤪
Tonight, I heard a bonk bonk bonk sound, and in comes Tissue Box Head to visit.
That's my boy! 🤦♂️🤪
This piano piece was written in December 1989 in response to the murder of Romanian protesters by their government's secret police.
Seemed sadly appropriate to post it now.
Its middle section is based on a Transylvanian folksong. A translation is in the YouTube description.
youtu.be/P239JKKYYEs
Seemed sadly appropriate to post it now.
Its middle section is based on a Transylvanian folksong. A translation is in the YouTube description.
youtu.be/P239JKKYYEs
Funeral Music of Timișoara
YouTube video by Pyrite King
youtu.be
February 2, 2026 at 1:57 AM
This piano piece was written in December 1989 in response to the murder of Romanian protesters by their government's secret police.
Seemed sadly appropriate to post it now.
Its middle section is based on a Transylvanian folksong. A translation is in the YouTube description.
youtu.be/P239JKKYYEs
Seemed sadly appropriate to post it now.
Its middle section is based on a Transylvanian folksong. A translation is in the YouTube description.
youtu.be/P239JKKYYEs
The only way they can get anyone to watch "Melania."
February 1, 2026 at 7:42 PM
The only way they can get anyone to watch "Melania."
"The worst movie I've ever seen..."? 🤔
January 30, 2026 at 9:48 PM
"The worst movie I've ever seen..."? 🤔
I'd rather staple my testicles to a wind turbine in a hurricane than watch Melania.
I'd rather have a billiard stick shoved up my ass than watch Melania.
I’d rather pluck my eyelashes out with tweezers than watch Melania.
January 30, 2026 at 3:01 PM
I'd rather staple my testicles to a wind turbine in a hurricane than watch Melania.
Share a Preacher, Priest, or Nun.
January 29, 2026 at 9:52 PM
Share a Preacher, Priest, or Nun.