I Am A Pyrite King
@iamapyriteking.bsky.social
Mining fools' good since before you were born. I can either tell you who I am, or show you who I am, but on social media it's tough to do both.
The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Muppet
If I Had Muppets I'd Kick You
The Girl with the Muppets Tattoo
February 19, 2026 at 1:27 AM
The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Muppet
mUP!
Muppeted Away
February 19, 2026 at 1:22 AM
mUP!
Reposted by I Am A Pyrite King
Graeme Garden's birthday today. A man whose uncanny, almost eldritch ability to sit doing seemingly almost nothing in a group of fellow comedians and then walk off with the entire show in his pocket thanks to single killer line is unrivalled. Man's a genuine genius. Happy Birthday, Graybags.
February 18, 2026 at 11:59 AM
Graeme Garden's birthday today. A man whose uncanny, almost eldritch ability to sit doing seemingly almost nothing in a group of fellow comedians and then walk off with the entire show in his pocket thanks to single killer line is unrivalled. Man's a genuine genius. Happy Birthday, Graybags.
can't. i'm walking the thinnest line, between the light and dark sides of my mind.
(i have 29 kids, all named jerome)
(i have 29 kids, all named jerome)
can't. i'm walking the dinosaur (open the door. Get on the floor)
can’t. i’m walking like an Egyptian
February 18, 2026 at 4:12 PM
can't. i'm walking the thinnest line, between the light and dark sides of my mind.
(i have 29 kids, all named jerome)
(i have 29 kids, all named jerome)
Mmmm... Dessert! Nothing like a nice durian ice cream cone
February 18, 2026 at 1:09 AM
Mmmm... Dessert! Nothing like a nice durian ice cream cone
This is a CAT checkpoint. Show me the most recent cat image on your phone.
February 17, 2026 at 5:47 PM
This is a CAT checkpoint. Show me the most recent cat image on your phone.
Happy Lunar New Year! 🎉
I'm supposed to share all these delicious bánh chưng I made with my extended family. But I don't have one 🤪. And my wife hates pork. So I'm going to share them with my Internet family -- you know who you are. 🖤 (Even though you're mostly vegeteblarians. Sorry 'bout that.)
I'm supposed to share all these delicious bánh chưng I made with my extended family. But I don't have one 🤪. And my wife hates pork. So I'm going to share them with my Internet family -- you know who you are. 🖤 (Even though you're mostly vegeteblarians. Sorry 'bout that.)
February 17, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Happy Lunar New Year! 🎉
I'm supposed to share all these delicious bánh chưng I made with my extended family. But I don't have one 🤪. And my wife hates pork. So I'm going to share them with my Internet family -- you know who you are. 🖤 (Even though you're mostly vegeteblarians. Sorry 'bout that.)
I'm supposed to share all these delicious bánh chưng I made with my extended family. But I don't have one 🤪. And my wife hates pork. So I'm going to share them with my Internet family -- you know who you are. 🖤 (Even though you're mostly vegeteblarians. Sorry 'bout that.)
Fuck you, google translate. Fuck. You.
February 17, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Fuck you, google translate. Fuck. You.
Who up Titaning they Sirens
Who up Greating they Expectations
Who up wuthering they heights
February 17, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Who up Titaning they Sirens
Who up Duing they Husker?
Who up oingoing they boingo
Who up wangin their chung?
February 17, 2026 at 1:56 AM
Who up Duing they Husker?
QUEEN DORIS FOR QUEEN... UHH, PRESIDENT!!!
February 17, 2026 at 1:54 AM
QUEEN DORIS FOR QUEEN... UHH, PRESIDENT!!!
Who up twisting they oliver
who up mocking their birds
who up greating their Gatsby
February 16, 2026 at 9:15 PM
Who up twisting they oliver
So Lunar New Year falls on Saint Patrick's Day this year, and I honestly don't know which way to go with this...
February 16, 2026 at 7:25 PM
So Lunar New Year falls on Saint Patrick's Day this year, and I honestly don't know which way to go with this...
Who up Jamming they Pearl?
Who up flogging their Molly?
Who up wangin their chung?
February 16, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Who up Jamming they Pearl?
OK, *this* one came out fine.
February 16, 2026 at 3:59 AM
OK, *this* one came out fine.
Every AI "artist" should be required to take a class on Beethoven: how much sheer labor he put into becoming one of the greatest composers that ever lived. He filled notebooks with version after version of his ideas until he got them right. He was the antithesis of the Prompt Artist.
February 16, 2026 at 3:48 AM
Every AI "artist" should be required to take a class on Beethoven: how much sheer labor he put into becoming one of the greatest composers that ever lived. He filled notebooks with version after version of his ideas until he got them right. He was the antithesis of the Prompt Artist.
And sure enough, one of my first batch of bánh chưng came apart in the pot. 🤣 It still tastes good, though! I'll have to make something else with it...
February 16, 2026 at 1:29 AM
And sure enough, one of my first batch of bánh chưng came apart in the pot. 🤣 It still tastes good, though! I'll have to make something else with it...
Tôi đang làm bánh chưng cho Tết...
Pork belly rice cakes for lunar new year. But it's not going very well this time. 😫🤪
My rice cake wrapping skills are not at their best today. The first batch will be done in an hour, and I'm scared to open the pot to look. I think they will have exploded.
Pork belly rice cakes for lunar new year. But it's not going very well this time. 😫🤪
My rice cake wrapping skills are not at their best today. The first batch will be done in an hour, and I'm scared to open the pot to look. I think they will have exploded.
February 15, 2026 at 11:38 PM
Tôi đang làm bánh chưng cho Tết...
Pork belly rice cakes for lunar new year. But it's not going very well this time. 😫🤪
My rice cake wrapping skills are not at their best today. The first batch will be done in an hour, and I'm scared to open the pot to look. I think they will have exploded.
Pork belly rice cakes for lunar new year. But it's not going very well this time. 😫🤪
My rice cake wrapping skills are not at their best today. The first batch will be done in an hour, and I'm scared to open the pot to look. I think they will have exploded.
If you see this, post a character that starts with K.
February 15, 2026 at 12:02 AM
If you see this, post a character that starts with K.
Roses are rose
Blankets are violet
Noem lost her binkie
And then blamed the pilot
Blankets are violet
Noem lost her binkie
And then blamed the pilot
February 14, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Roses are rose
Blankets are violet
Noem lost her binkie
And then blamed the pilot
Blankets are violet
Noem lost her binkie
And then blamed the pilot
Share an actual fight scene with actual humans made by actual humans 🖤
Is this not the single greatest character introduction in all action cinema?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=jrmF...
Is this not the single greatest character introduction in all action cinema?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=jrmF...
February 14, 2026 at 2:52 AM
Share an actual fight scene with actual humans made by actual humans 🖤
Is this not the single greatest character introduction in all action cinema?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=jrmF...
Is this not the single greatest character introduction in all action cinema?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=jrmF...
Ohh, this needs to be the stupid shit that brings the puppykiller down. "I NEEEED MY BLAAAANKIE! WAAAH! Off with his head, he stowwe my bwankie..." 🤦♂️
February 14, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Ohh, this needs to be the stupid shit that brings the puppykiller down. "I NEEEED MY BLAAAANKIE! WAAAH! Off with his head, he stowwe my bwankie..." 🤦♂️
"Yes, but the Dow is over 50,000!"
50,000? 50,000 what?
"Uhh... umm... 50,000 mentions in the Epstein files."
Well, fuck.
50,000? 50,000 what?
"Uhh... umm... 50,000 mentions in the Epstein files."
Well, fuck.
February 13, 2026 at 11:21 PM
"Yes, but the Dow is over 50,000!"
50,000? 50,000 what?
"Uhh... umm... 50,000 mentions in the Epstein files."
Well, fuck.
50,000? 50,000 what?
"Uhh... umm... 50,000 mentions in the Epstein files."
Well, fuck.
Remove a letter, ruin a film:
His Hose
His Hose
Mother of Ears
and she needs them to hear that damn Mother of Sighs
and she needs them to hear that damn Mother of Sighs
Remove a letter, ruin a film:
Let's Care Jessica to Death
The story of an overly-protective husband and his poor wife.
Let's Care Jessica to Death
The story of an overly-protective husband and his poor wife.
February 13, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Remove a letter, ruin a film:
His Hose
His Hose
So did Trump's award come with any Coal's Cash?
February 13, 2026 at 1:53 AM
So did Trump's award come with any Coal's Cash?