Pinned
Huey
@hueycallison.bsky.social
· Jul 3
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUAExcruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications wha...
www.youtube.com
I think CNN has reached the point where replacing all of their programming with just this on a loop would be an improvement.
And every once in a while, you could turn it on for two minutes, think "yup, that's it", and then forget about it again for a few months.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U4H...
And every once in a while, you could turn it on for two minutes, think "yup, that's it", and then forget about it again for a few months.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U4H...
"We CAN? THANKS, MOM!"
Eric Trump: "You can send $500 million worth of bitcoin on a Sunday night at 11pm while having a glass of wine with your wife for virtually zero fees."
November 13, 2025 at 3:33 PM
"We CAN? THANKS, MOM!"
A recent AP/NORC poll suggests that fully two-thirds of the Republican Party needs to be DRIVEN INTO THE SEA
November 13, 2025 at 5:28 AM
A recent AP/NORC poll suggests that fully two-thirds of the Republican Party needs to be DRIVEN INTO THE SEA
Dear streaming media services:
If your online guide says "click here to watch this show" and I click here and then it says "click here to subscribe to HBO MAX to watch this show" what you are doing is a scam known as a "bait-and-switch" and also fuck you.
If your online guide says "click here to watch this show" and I click here and then it says "click here to subscribe to HBO MAX to watch this show" what you are doing is a scam known as a "bait-and-switch" and also fuck you.
November 13, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Dear streaming media services:
If your online guide says "click here to watch this show" and I click here and then it says "click here to subscribe to HBO MAX to watch this show" what you are doing is a scam known as a "bait-and-switch" and also fuck you.
If your online guide says "click here to watch this show" and I click here and then it says "click here to subscribe to HBO MAX to watch this show" what you are doing is a scam known as a "bait-and-switch" and also fuck you.
Is it really a conspiracy when he said "when you're a star, they let you do it" into a camera on an entertainment show?
Is this really new information, or just evidence that can't be handwaved away?
Is this really new information, or just evidence that can't be handwaved away?
November 13, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Is it really a conspiracy when he said "when you're a star, they let you do it" into a camera on an entertainment show?
Is this really new information, or just evidence that can't be handwaved away?
Is this really new information, or just evidence that can't be handwaved away?
BABIES ARE BORN WORSHIPPING UNKNOWN GODS is the OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS of SEE-THRU YOGA PANTS
November 12, 2025 at 7:17 PM
BABIES ARE BORN WORSHIPPING UNKNOWN GODS is the OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS of SEE-THRU YOGA PANTS
Important news for my wife, and other fans of Law & Order:Woolloomooloo, or as I prefer to call it, "Crikey!"
🚨Deadloch heads: S2 of the Aussie crime satire/drama (it's good!) arrives on Amazon Prime March 20. Many chaotic Aussie weirdos return/debut. But HEADS UP they have added a Hemsworth (Luke)! This is not a drill! Kudos to the hair & costume team for this whole deal. www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/st...
November 11, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Important news for my wife, and other fans of Law & Order:Woolloomooloo, or as I prefer to call it, "Crikey!"
Well THAT'S unfortunate. Euronews Brussels it is then.
Comcast's global news channel Sky News says it will use an artificial intelligence-driven platform called Arc XP that was developed by the Washington Post.
The integration of Arc XP into Sky News is part of the channel's broader digital rebrand.
The integration of Arc XP into Sky News is part of the channel's broader digital rebrand.
Comcast's Sky News to use AI platforms developed by Washington Post
Sky News partnered with the Washington Post's Arc XP to power its five-year digital transformation initiative, Sky News 2030.
thedesk.net
November 11, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Well THAT'S unfortunate. Euronews Brussels it is then.
"That many poor people couldn't possibly exist", says the man who has been living in a resort hotel for the last ten years.
President Trump criticized the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) during a Fox News interview tonight, saying people "get it automatically now so the number is many times what it should be, it's disgraceful."
Trump says "we can reform" SNAP
"SNAP is supposed to be if you are down and out," Trump said on Fox News this evening.
www.axios.com
November 11, 2025 at 4:36 AM
"That many poor people couldn't possibly exist", says the man who has been living in a resort hotel for the last ten years.
These solder joints are awful. If I made something this bad when I was fourteen years old, my grandfather would make me take it apart and do it again.
If you really like this, and there's a stained glass store anywhere near you, you could probably commission someone to make you one for $500 or so.
If you really like this, and there's a stained glass store anywhere near you, you could probably commission someone to make you one for $500 or so.
November 9, 2025 at 9:59 PM
These solder joints are awful. If I made something this bad when I was fourteen years old, my grandfather would make me take it apart and do it again.
If you really like this, and there's a stained glass store anywhere near you, you could probably commission someone to make you one for $500 or so.
If you really like this, and there's a stained glass store anywhere near you, you could probably commission someone to make you one for $500 or so.
In the age of NIL money, Alabama's "Million-Dollar Marching Band" is, like, one second-string defensive tackle.
November 9, 2025 at 12:37 AM
In the age of NIL money, Alabama's "Million-Dollar Marching Band" is, like, one second-string defensive tackle.
I read this like "Cuomo wants to buy Nadler some new office furniture" and frankly this makes more sense than "Cuomo plans to lose another election".
November 8, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I read this like "Cuomo wants to buy Nadler some new office furniture" and frankly this makes more sense than "Cuomo plans to lose another election".
A thought I just had, while listening to BBC news:
...is it just me, or when media from another country plays a clip of Trump, do you hear a hint of "hey, get a load of THIS idiot" in it?
...is it just me, or when media from another country plays a clip of Trump, do you hear a hint of "hey, get a load of THIS idiot" in it?
November 7, 2025 at 11:04 PM
A thought I just had, while listening to BBC news:
...is it just me, or when media from another country plays a clip of Trump, do you hear a hint of "hey, get a load of THIS idiot" in it?
...is it just me, or when media from another country plays a clip of Trump, do you hear a hint of "hey, get a load of THIS idiot" in it?
Man, Sleepy Joe looks terrible, very low energy. He should really get some of those Frank Thomas/Doug Flutie powdered fenugreek fake boner pills. And she'll like it too!
photos of Trump sleeping through yesterday's Oval Office event via Andrew Harnik of Getty
November 7, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Man, Sleepy Joe looks terrible, very low energy. He should really get some of those Frank Thomas/Doug Flutie powdered fenugreek fake boner pills. And she'll like it too!
In fairness, no one could have possibly seen this coming.
"Academics have found that households in states where gambling was legalized saw significantly reduced savings, as well as lower investments in assets like stocks.... Meanwhile, states that legalized sports betting saw their residents’ aggregate credit scores decrease, while bankruptcies increased."
Sports gambling takes a toll on Americans' checkbooks, research shows
Two new studies quantify the effect of legalized and expanded sports betting on investments and savings.
www.nbcnews.com
November 7, 2025 at 3:46 PM
In fairness, no one could have possibly seen this coming.
This is a great question for science fiction writers, as energy too cheap to meter has been a trope for fifty years, but is finally coming true: what do you do with it?
-desalinate ocean water
-crack water into hydrogen and oxygen for pollution-free combustion engines
-atmospheric CO2 capture
- ?
-desalinate ocean water
-crack water into hydrogen and oxygen for pollution-free combustion engines
-atmospheric CO2 capture
- ?
Australia has so much electricity from solar power that it is going to start offering free electricity to everyone for at least three hours during the day as the wholesale price of power goes negative
electrek.co/2025/11/04/a...
electrek.co/2025/11/04/a...
Australia has so much solar that it's offering everyone free electricity
Australia's extensive solar power penetration makes so much energy that the government wants to offer free electricity at peak hours.
electrek.co
November 6, 2025 at 8:46 PM
This is a great question for science fiction writers, as energy too cheap to meter has been a trope for fifty years, but is finally coming true: what do you do with it?
-desalinate ocean water
-crack water into hydrogen and oxygen for pollution-free combustion engines
-atmospheric CO2 capture
- ?
-desalinate ocean water
-crack water into hydrogen and oxygen for pollution-free combustion engines
-atmospheric CO2 capture
- ?
It's amazing to me how many of the streaming services' apps were built apparently unaware that a Daylight Savings Time crossover was a thing that could happen.
All those years we spent writing software specifications and test plans and doing testing, and all this time we could have just sucked?
All those years we spent writing software specifications and test plans and doing testing, and all this time we could have just sucked?
November 6, 2025 at 7:35 PM
It's amazing to me how many of the streaming services' apps were built apparently unaware that a Daylight Savings Time crossover was a thing that could happen.
All those years we spent writing software specifications and test plans and doing testing, and all this time we could have just sucked?
All those years we spent writing software specifications and test plans and doing testing, and all this time we could have just sucked?
old and busted: let's not pay the Army
new hotness: let's not FEED the Army
new hotness: let's not FEED the Army
Army closes only dining facility on Kansas base due to government shutdown trib.al/5WGvUOq
Army closes only dining facility on Kansas base due to government shutdown
The only dining facility for junior troops at the Army’s Fort Leavenworth in Kansas has been closed due to funding issues.
trib.al
November 6, 2025 at 6:47 PM
old and busted: let's not pay the Army
new hotness: let's not FEED the Army
new hotness: let's not FEED the Army
It seems weird to me that the last half-dozen or so major tech innovations have all been the classic, hundreds-of-years-old "For a copy of my pamphlet _How to Get Rich Without Doing Any Work_ simply send me $400" gag.
...on the other hand, I would be happy to expand on this, if you send me $400.
...on the other hand, I would be happy to expand on this, if you send me $400.
November 6, 2025 at 4:50 PM
It seems weird to me that the last half-dozen or so major tech innovations have all been the classic, hundreds-of-years-old "For a copy of my pamphlet _How to Get Rich Without Doing Any Work_ simply send me $400" gag.
...on the other hand, I would be happy to expand on this, if you send me $400.
...on the other hand, I would be happy to expand on this, if you send me $400.
Reposted by Huey
[going through security for federal court]
“Where you going, for the sandwich?”
“Yup.”
“Sandwich heard around the damn world.”
“Where you going, for the sandwich?”
“Yup.”
“Sandwich heard around the damn world.”
November 5, 2025 at 6:24 PM
[going through security for federal court]
“Where you going, for the sandwich?”
“Yup.”
“Sandwich heard around the damn world.”
“Where you going, for the sandwich?”
“Yup.”
“Sandwich heard around the damn world.”
I gotta think that "please come back" would be a lot more convincing message if it also included two more things:
-"we're really sorry about that whole throwing black people under the bus thing-"
-"...and here are the specific steps we're going to take to make it better: (bunch of stuff goes here)"
-"we're really sorry about that whole throwing black people under the bus thing-"
-"...and here are the specific steps we're going to take to make it better: (bunch of stuff goes here)"
Target announces Thanksgiving dinner deal priced under $20
Target announces Thanksgiving dinner deal priced under $20
A Thanksgiving meal for under $20? Here’s what you’ll get.
ktla.com
November 5, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I gotta think that "please come back" would be a lot more convincing message if it also included two more things:
-"we're really sorry about that whole throwing black people under the bus thing-"
-"...and here are the specific steps we're going to take to make it better: (bunch of stuff goes here)"
-"we're really sorry about that whole throwing black people under the bus thing-"
-"...and here are the specific steps we're going to take to make it better: (bunch of stuff goes here)"
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
Astoria's Zohran watch party is so over packed that the backup bar (also a huge beer garden) is now full and virtually every bar in the neighborhood is reportedly filling fast
November 5, 2025 at 1:52 AM
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
Living in one of the bluest precincts in the bluest county in a purple state, I can be reasonably certain that my vote doesn't particularly matter.
...and yet, it's worth fifteen minutes out of my day to deliver the Republicans even the tiniest fuck you.
...and yet, it's worth fifteen minutes out of my day to deliver the Republicans even the tiniest fuck you.
November 4, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Living in one of the bluest precincts in the bluest county in a purple state, I can be reasonably certain that my vote doesn't particularly matter.
...and yet, it's worth fifteen minutes out of my day to deliver the Republicans even the tiniest fuck you.
...and yet, it's worth fifteen minutes out of my day to deliver the Republicans even the tiniest fuck you.
I didn't realize that there was a Guinness Book of World Records category for being wrong on TV, much less that there were multiple administration officials vying for it, but I think my money's on this guy:
Bessent: "I think President Trump is the only leader who President Xi respects."
November 4, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I didn't realize that there was a Guinness Book of World Records category for being wrong on TV, much less that there were multiple administration officials vying for it, but I think my money's on this guy:
MUST BE BIG SHMOTT GUY, GOTS GOOD HAT
November 4, 2025 at 3:38 AM
MUST BE BIG SHMOTT GUY, GOTS GOOD HAT
Why is there a red stripe on the Cowboys' helmets? Did they finally snag that lucrative Jamaican beer sponsorship?
I mean, that's fine if they did. HOORAY, BEER!
I mean, that's fine if they did. HOORAY, BEER!
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Why is there a red stripe on the Cowboys' helmets? Did they finally snag that lucrative Jamaican beer sponsorship?
I mean, that's fine if they did. HOORAY, BEER!
I mean, that's fine if they did. HOORAY, BEER!