Heather Mallick
@hmallick.bsky.social
Canadian news columnist formerly CBC, Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, Toronto Sun, etc. author, feminist, bookish person, centre-left. Substacker.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
All right everyone, we gave it our best shot but all we can do now is hope for better things in 2027.
January 1, 2026 at 5:19 PM
All right everyone, we gave it our best shot but all we can do now is hope for better things in 2027.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Imagine dying like this & all your friends & family trying to keep a straight face at your funeral
Disney World Employee Injured by Runaway 'Indiana Jones' Boulder
Disney World Employee Injured by Runaway 'Indiana Jones' Boulder
You don't have to be a professor of archaeology to become the victim of a rolling boulder trap these days.
gizmodo.com
January 2, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Imagine dying like this & all your friends & family trying to keep a straight face at your funeral
I have that flu. It’s so bad. My nose weighs 1 kg. My brain is glue. That said, NeoCitran is a strong drug that makes you crazy the next day. Be careful. It’s the over-the-counter drugs you should most fear.
January 2, 2026 at 11:29 PM
I have that flu. It’s so bad. My nose weighs 1 kg. My brain is glue. That said, NeoCitran is a strong drug that makes you crazy the next day. Be careful. It’s the over-the-counter drugs you should most fear.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Man who eats a Quarter Pounder, Big Mac, Fillet-o-Fish and fries and then gobbles half a bottle of aspirin has some thoughts
January 2, 2026 at 9:29 PM
Man who eats a Quarter Pounder, Big Mac, Fillet-o-Fish and fries and then gobbles half a bottle of aspirin has some thoughts
Reposted by Heather Mallick
The leaders of every major institution have straight-up fricasseed their brains with 16 hours of daily Twitter time and are now incapable of any thought that can’t be formulated as “CHEW ON THIS HOT TAKE: [biggest pander imaginable].”
January 2, 2026 at 9:34 PM
The leaders of every major institution have straight-up fricasseed their brains with 16 hours of daily Twitter time and are now incapable of any thought that can’t be formulated as “CHEW ON THIS HOT TAKE: [biggest pander imaginable].”
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Damn, Mamdani is working fast.
January 2, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Damn, Mamdani is working fast.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Here is the editor of Tablet agreeably reposting someone calling nonwhite NYC immigrants "worthless biotrash." It's astonishing how quickly this stuff has escaped containment
January 2, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Here is the editor of Tablet agreeably reposting someone calling nonwhite NYC immigrants "worthless biotrash." It's astonishing how quickly this stuff has escaped containment
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Seems reasonable. Carry on.
Trump admits to taking more aspirin than his docs recommend: “They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart. I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?”
What could possibly go wrong! (2/6)
What could possibly go wrong! (2/6)
January 1, 2026 at 4:24 PM
Seems reasonable. Carry on.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
the sheer wildness of eating a filet o fish sandwich for dessert after taking down two enormous burgers at 79 years old aside, this does remind me of one of the all-time great tweets
January 1, 2026 at 4:43 PM
the sheer wildness of eating a filet o fish sandwich for dessert after taking down two enormous burgers at 79 years old aside, this does remind me of one of the all-time great tweets
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Finally, Trump's diet! Oh my god. The piece closes with RNC Chair Joe Gruters saying he was "shocked" to witness Trump eat "french fries, a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder hamburger, a Big Mac and a Filet-O-Fish" in one sitting (5/6)
January 1, 2026 at 2:57 PM
Finally, Trump's diet! Oh my god. The piece closes with RNC Chair Joe Gruters saying he was "shocked" to witness Trump eat "french fries, a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder hamburger, a Big Mac and a Filet-O-Fish" in one sitting (5/6)
This Bluesky Wrapped thing is horrifying. I thought sensible people here hoped to get away from the desperate need to be liked in public. It is pure Shteyngart apparat. Maybe avoid this sort of thing in 2026, I think.
January 1, 2026 at 2:07 AM
This Bluesky Wrapped thing is horrifying. I thought sensible people here hoped to get away from the desperate need to be liked in public. It is pure Shteyngart apparat. Maybe avoid this sort of thing in 2026, I think.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
2026 is gonna suuuuck!!!!!
January 1, 2026 at 12:31 AM
2026 is gonna suuuuck!!!!!
With reasonably reliable culture critics mostly gone and Google fading to nothing, it's impossible to track down someone to explain whether Tom Segura's Netflix special Teacher was really bad or if my sense of humour is gone. I loved that guy. I have no measure.
December 31, 2025 at 7:17 PM
With reasonably reliable culture critics mostly gone and Google fading to nothing, it's impossible to track down someone to explain whether Tom Segura's Netflix special Teacher was really bad or if my sense of humour is gone. I loved that guy. I have no measure.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
First day of 2025 vs last day of 2025
December 31, 2025 at 6:32 PM
First day of 2025 vs last day of 2025
Reposted by Heather Mallick
It has been The Onion's best year since we broke Watergate and subsequently, personally had Richard Nixon removed from office.
I'm going to share some personal favorite stories in this thread.
Please add your own, and visit the Our Annual Year recap below.
theonion.com/our-annual-y...
I'm going to share some personal favorite stories in this thread.
Please add your own, and visit the Our Annual Year recap below.
theonion.com/our-annual-y...
Our Annual Year 2025
January February March April May June July August September October November Sports Entertainment January February March April May June July August September October November Sports Entertainment
theonion.com
December 31, 2025 at 5:18 PM
It has been The Onion's best year since we broke Watergate and subsequently, personally had Richard Nixon removed from office.
I'm going to share some personal favorite stories in this thread.
Please add your own, and visit the Our Annual Year recap below.
theonion.com/our-annual-y...
I'm going to share some personal favorite stories in this thread.
Please add your own, and visit the Our Annual Year recap below.
theonion.com/our-annual-y...
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Calls to strip pro-democracy activist Alaa Abd el-Fattah of his British citizenship pile torment on top of torture.
New piece by me on a dangerous and manufactured storm:
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
New piece by me on a dangerous and manufactured storm:
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
Alaa Abd el-Fattah’s tweets were wrong, but he is no ‘anti-white Islamist’. Why does the British right want you to believe he is? | Naomi Klein
I have no interest in defending his social media posts, but calls to strip the newly freed activist of British citizenship pile torment on top of torture, says Naomi Klein, Guardian US columnist and c...
www.theguardian.com
December 31, 2025 at 7:37 AM
Calls to strip pro-democracy activist Alaa Abd el-Fattah of his British citizenship pile torment on top of torture.
New piece by me on a dangerous and manufactured storm:
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
New piece by me on a dangerous and manufactured storm:
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Even I, with no children, know that you cannot just roll up on a childcare center and ask to be let in and see the kids. If you are stupid enough to give Nick Shirley _any_ credence, I am shocked that you're able to function as an adult.
uhhh yeah I can see why these childcare properties weren't eager to let in some rando dudes asking "where are the kids?"
December 30, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Even I, with no children, know that you cannot just roll up on a childcare center and ask to be let in and see the kids. If you are stupid enough to give Nick Shirley _any_ credence, I am shocked that you're able to function as an adult.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
December's boat strike death toll (so far)...
December 30, 2025 at 4:51 PM
December's boat strike death toll (so far)...
Reposted by Heather Mallick
And even at the end she tried to stop her most dangerous relative
December 30, 2025 at 7:53 PM
And even at the end she tried to stop her most dangerous relative
If there is one thing I never understood about mainstream journalism, it was freelance personal columns. www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-p...
I’m hopelessly overstocked with envelopes, but I can’t bear to let go
I have a hard time throwing anything out, especially if it may have a useful second life
www.theglobeandmail.com
December 30, 2025 at 4:29 PM
If there is one thing I never understood about mainstream journalism, it was freelance personal columns. www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-p...
I'm a feminist. I thought I was aware of most sex crimes. But this one was new. Imagine a man spending the year doing this to female physicians. The very stressed Canadian health care system doesn't charge for doctor visits. It was free and he allegedly did this. www.cp24.com/local/peel/2...
Man exposed himself, faked medical conditions at various Mississauga clinics: police
A 38-year-old man is facing charges after allegedly exposing himself and faking medical conditions in order to get female doctors at various medical clinics in Mississauga to touch him inappropriately...
www.cp24.com
December 30, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I'm a feminist. I thought I was aware of most sex crimes. But this one was new. Imagine a man spending the year doing this to female physicians. The very stressed Canadian health care system doesn't charge for doctor visits. It was free and he allegedly did this. www.cp24.com/local/peel/2...
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax https://theonion.com/tech-billionaires-threaten-to-flee-california-over-proposed-vest-tax/
December 29, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax https://theonion.com/tech-billionaires-threaten-to-flee-california-over-proposed-vest-tax/
It’s like a womb.
Trump on the ballroom: "It's bigger than I told you. It's, you know -- after realizing we're gonna do the inauguration in that building, it's got all bulletproof glass, it's got all drone, they call it drone-free roof. It's dronessss -- won't touch it. It's a big beautiful safe building."
December 29, 2025 at 9:28 PM
It’s like a womb.
Reposted by Heather Mallick
Is bibi dressing like him to boost his ego like when you mirror the person interviewing you for a job?
Trump to a reporter: "You're saying maybe the attack didn't place? That's possible too I guess. But President Putin told me this morning it did."
December 29, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Is bibi dressing like him to boost his ego like when you mirror the person interviewing you for a job?