Michael Elizondo
@elidelajandro.bsky.social
Associate Editor/De facto Traveling Correspondent for TrueBlueLA.com
Lawyer, writer, rabble-rouser. I will live Skeet games I go to.
Lawyer, writer, rabble-rouser. I will live Skeet games I go to.
Pinned
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
February 9, 2026 at 4:07 PM
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
Happy birthday, jackasses
Anti-abortion protesters who travelled to Washington, D.C. for the March for Life ended up at a measles super spreader-event, according to health officials.
Right-wing pro-life march ends up being measles super spreader: health officials
Anti-abortion protesters who travelled to Washington, D.C. for the March for Life ended up at a measles super spreader-event, according to health officials.Thousands of pro-lifers came for the Jan. 23 march and concert at the National Mall and now the D.C. Department of Health has reported multiple ...
bit.ly
February 10, 2026 at 5:31 AM
Happy birthday, jackasses
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
It's staggering how this political eunuch has not just done nothing at all as Speaker of the House, but has actually worked to prevent his colleagues from doing anything at all as well.
For all the right's fetishization of "originalism," this is a development that would've made the founders weep
For all the right's fetishization of "originalism," this is a development that would've made the founders weep
Speaker Mike Johnson said Monday he is moving forward with a plan to revive a prohibition on House votes to overturn President Donald Trump’s global tariffs.
www.politico.com/live-updates...
www.politico.com/live-updates...
Johnson moves to again block House from voting on Trump tariffs
Opposition from as few as two Republicans could derail the effort.
www.politico.com
February 10, 2026 at 1:41 AM
It's staggering how this political eunuch has not just done nothing at all as Speaker of the House, but has actually worked to prevent his colleagues from doing anything at all as well.
For all the right's fetishization of "originalism," this is a development that would've made the founders weep
For all the right's fetishization of "originalism," this is a development that would've made the founders weep
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
This is literally what CURRENT LAW requires. It’s in the Constitution! www.politico.com/news/2026/02...
February 10, 2026 at 3:18 AM
This is literally what CURRENT LAW requires. It’s in the Constitution! www.politico.com/news/2026/02...
Resign and spend your remaining years wondering how you lingered long past your relevance in public life.
Our DHS reform demands are exceedingly reasonable.
We're asking ICE to do nothing more than follow the standards that the vast majority of law enforcement agencies already follow.
Republicans, the ball is in your court. The clock is ticking.
We're asking ICE to do nothing more than follow the standards that the vast majority of law enforcement agencies already follow.
Republicans, the ball is in your court. The clock is ticking.
February 10, 2026 at 3:43 AM
Resign and spend your remaining years wondering how you lingered long past your relevance in public life.
/glares at a fictional doctor
MJE: I've got Robby's death caused by motorcycle accident made worse by AI fuckery in the finale.
If you ruin this parley.. /s
MJE: I've got Robby's death caused by motorcycle accident made worse by AI fuckery in the finale.
If you ruin this parley.. /s
February 10, 2026 at 12:47 AM
/glares at a fictional doctor
MJE: I've got Robby's death caused by motorcycle accident made worse by AI fuckery in the finale.
If you ruin this parley.. /s
MJE: I've got Robby's death caused by motorcycle accident made worse by AI fuckery in the finale.
If you ruin this parley.. /s
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
When you get visited by three Puerto Rican ghosts
February 9, 2026 at 11:05 PM
When you get visited by three Puerto Rican ghosts
Honestly, there's a mystery bobblehead and I'd wager dollars to donuts it's another G7 slapper:
The catch.
The catch.
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Honestly, there's a mystery bobblehead and I'd wager dollars to donuts it's another G7 slapper:
The catch.
The catch.
Post a banger that isn't in English.
(I win, btw.)
(I win, btw.)
February 9, 2026 at 6:58 PM
Post a banger that isn't in English.
(I win, btw.)
(I win, btw.)
The "let's relive G7 and traumatize Toronto five pack."
Dodgers initial list of promotions at Dodger Stadium includes at least three Shohei Ohtani bobbleheads
NLCS G4 batting (April 10)
NLCS G4 pitching (July 8)
Ohtani pitching (Aug 22)
Others:
Will Smith Game 7 homer (March 28)
Miguel Rojas Game 7 homer (May 8)
Yoshinobu Yamamoto Game 7 (May 27)
NLCS G4 batting (April 10)
NLCS G4 pitching (July 8)
Ohtani pitching (Aug 22)
Others:
Will Smith Game 7 homer (March 28)
Miguel Rojas Game 7 homer (May 8)
Yoshinobu Yamamoto Game 7 (May 27)
February 9, 2026 at 6:19 PM
The "let's relive G7 and traumatize Toronto five pack."
The Blue Jays: We're going to lean in hard with the fact we won a pennant for the first time in over thirty years.
MJE: Bilking your fanbase like that; some teams have no shame.
The Dodgers: We are dropping five bobbleheads from Game 7! And four more just to flex last year's rotation.
MJE:
MJE: Bilking your fanbase like that; some teams have no shame.
The Dodgers: We are dropping five bobbleheads from Game 7! And four more just to flex last year's rotation.
MJE:
a man is holding a knife in front of a spiderman who says you 've found my weakness
ALT: a man is holding a knife in front of a spiderman who says you 've found my weakness
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 6:16 PM
The Blue Jays: We're going to lean in hard with the fact we won a pennant for the first time in over thirty years.
MJE: Bilking your fanbase like that; some teams have no shame.
The Dodgers: We are dropping five bobbleheads from Game 7! And four more just to flex last year's rotation.
MJE:
MJE: Bilking your fanbase like that; some teams have no shame.
The Dodgers: We are dropping five bobbleheads from Game 7! And four more just to flex last year's rotation.
MJE:
I spent all weekend writing up a nearly 4000-word essay. I haven't felt this calm in a long time. Time to sleep on it, I think.
(And then cover other heavy topics like Puig going to jail, the tour guides blowing up their own union, and the impending lockout in 10 months I called back in 2023. Fun.)
(And then cover other heavy topics like Puig going to jail, the tour guides blowing up their own union, and the impending lockout in 10 months I called back in 2023. Fun.)
February 9, 2026 at 9:27 AM
I spent all weekend writing up a nearly 4000-word essay. I haven't felt this calm in a long time. Time to sleep on it, I think.
(And then cover other heavy topics like Puig going to jail, the tour guides blowing up their own union, and the impending lockout in 10 months I called back in 2023. Fun.)
(And then cover other heavy topics like Puig going to jail, the tour guides blowing up their own union, and the impending lockout in 10 months I called back in 2023. Fun.)
Who is having a worse time?
SF fans: The Giants are spending even more money to finish third at best, the Dodgers repeated, and the Seahawks just won a Super Bowl in their stadium
Patriots fans: Belichick and Kraft didn't make the Hall, the Pats resembled the SB XXXI team (apparently)
SF fans: The Giants are spending even more money to finish third at best, the Dodgers repeated, and the Seahawks just won a Super Bowl in their stadium
Patriots fans: Belichick and Kraft didn't make the Hall, the Pats resembled the SB XXXI team (apparently)
February 9, 2026 at 4:59 AM
Who is having a worse time?
SF fans: The Giants are spending even more money to finish third at best, the Dodgers repeated, and the Seahawks just won a Super Bowl in their stadium
Patriots fans: Belichick and Kraft didn't make the Hall, the Pats resembled the SB XXXI team (apparently)
SF fans: The Giants are spending even more money to finish third at best, the Dodgers repeated, and the Seahawks just won a Super Bowl in their stadium
Patriots fans: Belichick and Kraft didn't make the Hall, the Pats resembled the SB XXXI team (apparently)
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
There literally is no middle ground between fascists & democrats, as they are advocating for two mutually-exclusive competing types of government.
February 9, 2026 at 4:26 AM
There literally is no middle ground between fascists & democrats, as they are advocating for two mutually-exclusive competing types of government.
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
It is so deeply satisfying that no matter what he does, kid rock will never be cooler or funnier than the rest of us are
The right wants so bad to be in the Hollywood “in” crowd but they pretend they don’t. Thats why they’re desperate for their Super Bowl show to not suck like it did
February 9, 2026 at 4:11 AM
It is so deeply satisfying that no matter what he does, kid rock will never be cooler or funnier than the rest of us are
The second defense begins now.
February 9, 2026 at 3:42 AM
The second defense begins now.
Called it.
Oh. The Patriots are going back to the Super Bowl. Okay.
/looks at the NFC Championship
Oh, the winner of this game is going to 2024-Dodger them...oof. Also neat.
/looks at the NFC Championship
Oh, the winner of this game is going to 2024-Dodger them...oof. Also neat.
February 9, 2026 at 3:07 AM
Called it.
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
On Polymarket you can now bet on how many people in a different market on Polymarket think Jesus Christ will return in this calendar year.
29% of bets say that more than 5% of bets in the Jesus Christ return market will be a "yes" 9 days from now.
Anyway everyone involved in this needs jailtime.
29% of bets say that more than 5% of bets in the Jesus Christ return market will be a "yes" 9 days from now.
Anyway everyone involved in this needs jailtime.
February 8, 2026 at 5:21 PM
On Polymarket you can now bet on how many people in a different market on Polymarket think Jesus Christ will return in this calendar year.
29% of bets say that more than 5% of bets in the Jesus Christ return market will be a "yes" 9 days from now.
Anyway everyone involved in this needs jailtime.
29% of bets say that more than 5% of bets in the Jesus Christ return market will be a "yes" 9 days from now.
Anyway everyone involved in this needs jailtime.
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
Europe gets it!
The UK raids the home of a close Epstein pal. Poland probes ties to Russian intel. France raids the office of Musk's X. But the U.S. elites who palled around with the world's worst sex creep get away with it
The crisis of elite impunity. My column www.inquirer.com/opinion/jeff...
The UK raids the home of a close Epstein pal. Poland probes ties to Russian intel. France raids the office of Musk's X. But the U.S. elites who palled around with the world's worst sex creep get away with it
The crisis of elite impunity. My column www.inquirer.com/opinion/jeff...
Europe is holding its Epstein creeps accountable. Why can’t we? | Will Bunch
Europeans are pushing to hold Jeffrey Epstein's creepy pals, including billionaires like Elon Musk, accountable. The U.S.? Not so much.
www.inquirer.com
February 8, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Europe gets it!
The UK raids the home of a close Epstein pal. Poland probes ties to Russian intel. France raids the office of Musk's X. But the U.S. elites who palled around with the world's worst sex creep get away with it
The crisis of elite impunity. My column www.inquirer.com/opinion/jeff...
The UK raids the home of a close Epstein pal. Poland probes ties to Russian intel. France raids the office of Musk's X. But the U.S. elites who palled around with the world's worst sex creep get away with it
The crisis of elite impunity. My column www.inquirer.com/opinion/jeff...
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
This isn’t a TV plot-it’s real. Students, renters, women who changed their names, & rural voters w/o easy access to records will be affected. The SAVE Act requires proof of citizenship w/specific docs or lose their voice. The people get pushed out completely. This is a solution w/o a problem.
February 8, 2026 at 2:38 PM
This isn’t a TV plot-it’s real. Students, renters, women who changed their names, & rural voters w/o easy access to records will be affected. The SAVE Act requires proof of citizenship w/specific docs or lose their voice. The people get pushed out completely. This is a solution w/o a problem.
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
all Dems should join Massie in demanding Luttnick resign
February 8, 2026 at 5:42 PM
all Dems should join Massie in demanding Luttnick resign
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
February 8, 2026 at 5:06 AM
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
Reposted by Michael Elizondo
You should read this. It is the type of detail that experts in authoritarian regimes see as telling.
In this case, state agents are offered impunity from higher ups, and the legal system is rendered inoperative as a mode of accountability.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/07/u...
In this case, state agents are offered impunity from higher ups, and the legal system is rendered inoperative as a mode of accountability.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/07/u...
Prosecutors Began Investigating Renee Good’s Killing. Washington Told Them to Stop.
www.nytimes.com
February 7, 2026 at 4:47 PM
You should read this. It is the type of detail that experts in authoritarian regimes see as telling.
In this case, state agents are offered impunity from higher ups, and the legal system is rendered inoperative as a mode of accountability.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/07/u...
In this case, state agents are offered impunity from higher ups, and the legal system is rendered inoperative as a mode of accountability.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/07/u...
Old friend Terrance Gore has died from complications from surgery. He was 34.
A two-time World Series champion outfielder died suddenly at 34
A speedy outfielder who played for the Dodgers, Mets, Cubs, Braves, and Royals and won two World Series died suddenly at 34.
www.newsweek.com
February 7, 2026 at 5:19 PM
Old friend Terrance Gore has died from complications from surgery. He was 34.