Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
@damiott.bsky.social
Satirist and freelance proofreader. He/Him
Southern California.
Listen to my podcast about Dragnet here:
https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/just-the-facts-and-more--6200114
Southern California.
Listen to my podcast about Dragnet here:
https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/just-the-facts-and-more--6200114
Pinned
Netiquette tip, gang-
If you're going to tag my joke, "like" my joke as well.
That way I'll know that you're playing along.
If you don't "like" my joke but you tag it or comment on it anyway, I can only assume that you disliked my joke and felt the need to try to improve it.
If you're going to tag my joke, "like" my joke as well.
That way I'll know that you're playing along.
If you don't "like" my joke but you tag it or comment on it anyway, I can only assume that you disliked my joke and felt the need to try to improve it.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
As of 12/24/25, USPS changed policy on when they postmark mail. Mail dropped off is no longer guaranteed a same-day postmark. Tax returns & other time-sensitive items are now stamped when they reach a regional processing center, which may be days later. Plan deadlines accordingly to avoid penalties.
USPS Announces Changes to the Postmark Date System
The United States Postal Service (USPS) has adopted a final rule (FR Doc.
share.google
December 29, 2025 at 4:32 PM
As of 12/24/25, USPS changed policy on when they postmark mail. Mail dropped off is no longer guaranteed a same-day postmark. Tax returns & other time-sensitive items are now stamped when they reach a regional processing center, which may be days later. Plan deadlines accordingly to avoid penalties.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Paul was to "Cheers" what Jeff was to "Taxi".
March 29, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Paul was to "Cheers" what Jeff was to "Taxi".
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
My all comedians/comic actors cast of "Assassins":
Paul F. Tompkins as Guiteau
Natalie Morales as Squeaky
Paula Pell as Moore
Dan Mintz as Hinckley
Jason Mantzoukas as Byck
Nick Kroll as Zengara
Taran Killam as Booth
H. Jon Benjamin as Czolgosz
Andy Daly as Balladeer
-July 22, 2019
Paul F. Tompkins as Guiteau
Natalie Morales as Squeaky
Paula Pell as Moore
Dan Mintz as Hinckley
Jason Mantzoukas as Byck
Nick Kroll as Zengara
Taran Killam as Booth
H. Jon Benjamin as Czolgosz
Andy Daly as Balladeer
-July 22, 2019
It has been 2 years since I downloaded my Twitter archive, so I suppose I'll start re-posting some of my decent, stand-alone tweets here.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
May 27, 2025 at 11:56 PM
My all comedians/comic actors cast of "Assassins":
Paul F. Tompkins as Guiteau
Natalie Morales as Squeaky
Paula Pell as Moore
Dan Mintz as Hinckley
Jason Mantzoukas as Byck
Nick Kroll as Zengara
Taran Killam as Booth
H. Jon Benjamin as Czolgosz
Andy Daly as Balladeer
-July 22, 2019
Paul F. Tompkins as Guiteau
Natalie Morales as Squeaky
Paula Pell as Moore
Dan Mintz as Hinckley
Jason Mantzoukas as Byck
Nick Kroll as Zengara
Taran Killam as Booth
H. Jon Benjamin as Czolgosz
Andy Daly as Balladeer
-July 22, 2019
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Paul Greenberg (The Vacant Lot, The Jenny McCarthy Show, Reno 911!, Hangin' with Dr. Z) came into the eBay consignment store that I worked in to sell his collection of slot cars.
As a comedy nerd, I was star struck.
They buyer ended up not wanting the display case, so I still have it.
As a comedy nerd, I was star struck.
They buyer ended up not wanting the display case, so I still have it.
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
June 13, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Paul Greenberg (The Vacant Lot, The Jenny McCarthy Show, Reno 911!, Hangin' with Dr. Z) came into the eBay consignment store that I worked in to sell his collection of slot cars.
As a comedy nerd, I was star struck.
They buyer ended up not wanting the display case, so I still have it.
As a comedy nerd, I was star struck.
They buyer ended up not wanting the display case, so I still have it.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Jesus. Remember when you can’t afford housing, transportation, education, groceries, or healthcare that the government found the money to destroy an order of magnitude more lives in many places this year. They could’ve helped you, but they wanted to do this instead.
Federal immigration agents arrested about 1,100 people in Oregon this year, immigration experts estimate — a surge from the 113 arrests recorded in all of 2024.
via @oregoncapitalchronicle.com
via @oregoncapitalchronicle.com
Oregon saw 1,100 immigration arrests in 2025
Federal immigration agents arrested about 1,100 people in Oregon this year, immigration experts estimate — a surge from the 113 arrests recorded in all of 2024.
www.newsfromthestates.com
December 29, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Jesus. Remember when you can’t afford housing, transportation, education, groceries, or healthcare that the government found the money to destroy an order of magnitude more lives in many places this year. They could’ve helped you, but they wanted to do this instead.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Not a doctor. Not diagnosing anything.
Just saying: Donald Trump’s hands look worse every time I see them.
He should probably get them checked out.
Yeah — but don’t worry. He’s got great health insurance.
#CA32 #HealthCare
Just saying: Donald Trump’s hands look worse every time I see them.
He should probably get them checked out.
Yeah — but don’t worry. He’s got great health insurance.
#CA32 #HealthCare
December 29, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Not a doctor. Not diagnosing anything.
Just saying: Donald Trump’s hands look worse every time I see them.
He should probably get them checked out.
Yeah — but don’t worry. He’s got great health insurance.
#CA32 #HealthCare
Just saying: Donald Trump’s hands look worse every time I see them.
He should probably get them checked out.
Yeah — but don’t worry. He’s got great health insurance.
#CA32 #HealthCare
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Julie K. Brown is a reporter for the Miami Herald who did groundbreaking work on Epstein beginning in 2018, including groundbreaking work on the disgusting coverup by Alex Acosta.
Her travel itinerary was released with some of the Epstein files. It appears the DOJ was monitoring her in 2019.
Her travel itinerary was released with some of the Epstein files. It appears the DOJ was monitoring her in 2019.
December 28, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Julie K. Brown is a reporter for the Miami Herald who did groundbreaking work on Epstein beginning in 2018, including groundbreaking work on the disgusting coverup by Alex Acosta.
Her travel itinerary was released with some of the Epstein files. It appears the DOJ was monitoring her in 2019.
Her travel itinerary was released with some of the Epstein files. It appears the DOJ was monitoring her in 2019.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Who are you? How did you un-do those shackles?
"I am the Truth and the Light and the Way. And, I'm a locksmith."
"I am the Truth and the Light and the Way. And, I'm a locksmith."
passed a billboard that said “shackled with lust? Jesus will set you free” leaving me with new questions about the services offered by Jesus
December 28, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Who are you? How did you un-do those shackles?
"I am the Truth and the Light and the Way. And, I'm a locksmith."
"I am the Truth and the Light and the Way. And, I'm a locksmith."
Tried to explain to my family - all lifelong Democrats - that both Gavin Newsom and Pete Buttigieg are unprincipled weasels.
They were all surprised.
I keep forgetting that we don't live in the same ecosystem...
They were all surprised.
I keep forgetting that we don't live in the same ecosystem...
December 28, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Tried to explain to my family - all lifelong Democrats - that both Gavin Newsom and Pete Buttigieg are unprincipled weasels.
They were all surprised.
I keep forgetting that we don't live in the same ecosystem...
They were all surprised.
I keep forgetting that we don't live in the same ecosystem...
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
What I really hate about this is that it's a strain of Democratic Party know-it-all-ism which is going to assert itself with a lot of $$ and a lot of free media in '26 and '28, which is "We could win this whole thing if you freaks would either just act normal or hide." Do not trust those messengers.
December 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
What I really hate about this is that it's a strain of Democratic Party know-it-all-ism which is going to assert itself with a lot of $$ and a lot of free media in '26 and '28, which is "We could win this whole thing if you freaks would either just act normal or hide." Do not trust those messengers.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
The Black Dahlia was apparently killed by an ex-boyfriend who went on to become the Zodiac Killer.
Elizabeth Short told a (female) LAPD officer she was terrified her ex, a marine, would find & hurt her.
Then she was murdered.
www.latimes.com/california/s...
Elizabeth Short told a (female) LAPD officer she was terrified her ex, a marine, would find & hurt her.
Then she was murdered.
www.latimes.com/california/s...
An amateur codebreaker may have just solved the Black Dahlia and Zodiac killings
Two retired LAPD homicide detectives say that both notorious cases are solved -- with a single culprit -- thanks to the work of a novice sleuth.
www.latimes.com
December 27, 2025 at 11:06 PM
The Black Dahlia was apparently killed by an ex-boyfriend who went on to become the Zodiac Killer.
Elizabeth Short told a (female) LAPD officer she was terrified her ex, a marine, would find & hurt her.
Then she was murdered.
www.latimes.com/california/s...
Elizabeth Short told a (female) LAPD officer she was terrified her ex, a marine, would find & hurt her.
Then she was murdered.
www.latimes.com/california/s...
Well, we watched WAKE UP DEAD MAN.
Rian Johnson sure has devices that he likes to use, huh?
Blood packs, outdated technology, etc...
Rian Johnson sure has devices that he likes to use, huh?
Blood packs, outdated technology, etc...
December 27, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Well, we watched WAKE UP DEAD MAN.
Rian Johnson sure has devices that he likes to use, huh?
Blood packs, outdated technology, etc...
Rian Johnson sure has devices that he likes to use, huh?
Blood packs, outdated technology, etc...
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
All of the money that changed hands in the Teapot Dome scandal totaled less than $10 million after adjusting for inflation, and it was considered so corrupt we still teach it in high school government classes a century later.
Corruption so pungent, it wafts right off the page:
Lobbyists who do pardon deals “say their going rate is $1 million. Pardon-seekers have offered some lobbyists close to the president success fees of as much as $6 million if they can close the deal.”
Gift link www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
Lobbyists who do pardon deals “say their going rate is $1 million. Pardon-seekers have offered some lobbyists close to the president success fees of as much as $6 million if they can close the deal.”
Gift link www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
Inside the New Fast Track to a Presidential Pardon
Even some of the president’s closest advisers have been surprised by a number of the recent series of pardons.
www.wsj.com
December 27, 2025 at 9:24 PM
All of the money that changed hands in the Teapot Dome scandal totaled less than $10 million after adjusting for inflation, and it was considered so corrupt we still teach it in high school government classes a century later.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Dear Jon Stewart c/o @weeklyshowpodcast.bsky.social
I recently watched, with great surprise and disappointment, a weeklyshowpodcast segment in which you and other "personalities," gleefully mocked and derided the relatively small subset of individuals who continue to wear a face mask in public.
I recently watched, with great surprise and disappointment, a weeklyshowpodcast segment in which you and other "personalities," gleefully mocked and derided the relatively small subset of individuals who continue to wear a face mask in public.
December 27, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Dear Jon Stewart c/o @weeklyshowpodcast.bsky.social
I recently watched, with great surprise and disappointment, a weeklyshowpodcast segment in which you and other "personalities," gleefully mocked and derided the relatively small subset of individuals who continue to wear a face mask in public.
I recently watched, with great surprise and disappointment, a weeklyshowpodcast segment in which you and other "personalities," gleefully mocked and derided the relatively small subset of individuals who continue to wear a face mask in public.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
New reporting says Don Jr. directly facilitated the pardon of a crypto whale who had promoted the Trump's family crypto. Jr. brought the pardon lawyer to the White House, and introduced him directly to his Dad. Pardon occurred right after. donmoynihan.substack.com/p/pardon-the...
December 27, 2025 at 6:14 PM
New reporting says Don Jr. directly facilitated the pardon of a crypto whale who had promoted the Trump's family crypto. Jr. brought the pardon lawyer to the White House, and introduced him directly to his Dad. Pardon occurred right after. donmoynihan.substack.com/p/pardon-the...
I have eaten SO MUCH ham in the past 3 days...
December 27, 2025 at 10:17 PM
I have eaten SO MUCH ham in the past 3 days...
It's remarkable how many pop songs there are about chain gangs...
December 26, 2025 at 7:07 PM
It's remarkable how many pop songs there are about chain gangs...
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
I remember taking the mandatory engineering ethics class in college where we learned about how your job comes with serious responsibility; how software that handles medicine delivery can kill people if there are bugs or how the Hyatt Regency walkway collapse happened.
No one seemed to care.
No one seemed to care.
Can't wait for the loosened up, non-perfect, but quickly shipped AI-enhanced updates to hit my banking and insurance services next year.
Im sure there will be no issues there at all.
Im sure there will be no issues there at all.
December 26, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I remember taking the mandatory engineering ethics class in college where we learned about how your job comes with serious responsibility; how software that handles medicine delivery can kill people if there are bugs or how the Hyatt Regency walkway collapse happened.
No one seemed to care.
No one seemed to care.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Whenever I read a funny joke about toys, I like to respond with "LMFAO Schwartz".
-October 18, 2014
-October 18, 2014
It has been 2 years since I downloaded my Twitter archive, so I suppose I'll start re-posting some of my decent, stand-alone tweets here.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
February 10, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Whenever I read a funny joke about toys, I like to respond with "LMFAO Schwartz".
-October 18, 2014
-October 18, 2014
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
Did any of those Santa Buddies movies with the talking puppies ever include a joke with one of them saying "Fleas Navidad?" or something like that?
I'm bored.
-December 9, 2019
I'm bored.
-December 9, 2019
It has been 2 years since I downloaded my Twitter archive, so I suppose I'll start re-posting some of my decent, stand-alone tweets here.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
February 7, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Did any of those Santa Buddies movies with the talking puppies ever include a joke with one of them saying "Fleas Navidad?" or something like that?
I'm bored.
-December 9, 2019
I'm bored.
-December 9, 2019
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
So, I guess we're supposed to assume that "Happy New Year, Charlie Brown" takes place in a different year than "A Charlie Brown Christmas", thus explaining why Charlie Brown is merely depressed at Christmastime and not also stressing out about his impending book report.
January 1, 2024 at 7:16 AM
So, I guess we're supposed to assume that "Happy New Year, Charlie Brown" takes place in a different year than "A Charlie Brown Christmas", thus explaining why Charlie Brown is merely depressed at Christmastime and not also stressing out about his impending book report.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
You remember how Hillary Clinton's vote to give President G.W. Bush authorization to send troops to Iraq was what prevented her from being the Democrat nominee for President in 2008?
Every Democrat in Senate voted to confirm Marco Rubio for Secretary of State, and that will disqualify ALL of them.
Every Democrat in Senate voted to confirm Marco Rubio for Secretary of State, and that will disqualify ALL of them.
April 2, 2025 at 6:31 PM
You remember how Hillary Clinton's vote to give President G.W. Bush authorization to send troops to Iraq was what prevented her from being the Democrat nominee for President in 2008?
Every Democrat in Senate voted to confirm Marco Rubio for Secretary of State, and that will disqualify ALL of them.
Every Democrat in Senate voted to confirm Marco Rubio for Secretary of State, and that will disqualify ALL of them.
Reposted by Dave "Just the Facts" Amiott
So, it seems like the solution here would be to tax the absolute balls off these private equity billionaires and their corporations, then use that money to give everyone publicly-funded healthcare, education, and UBI.
But, what do I know? I'm just a person who lives in the world...
But, what do I know? I'm just a person who lives in the world...
I thought understanding what private equity actually is might help me better comprehend my feeling that the world is being hollowed out and lo and behold it did. www.vox.com/the-goods/20...
What is private equity, and why is it killing everything you love?
Private equity led to the closing of Toys R Us and cost 30,000 workers their jobs — and it’s hardly the only example of a deal gone wrong.
www.vox.com
April 17, 2024 at 1:34 AM
So, it seems like the solution here would be to tax the absolute balls off these private equity billionaires and their corporations, then use that money to give everyone publicly-funded healthcare, education, and UBI.
But, what do I know? I'm just a person who lives in the world...
But, what do I know? I'm just a person who lives in the world...