cologaurd®™
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cologaurd.bsky.social
cologaurd®™
@cologaurd.bsky.social
cologaurd®™
Intended to screen adults 45 and up at average risk. Rx only.
gaurd your colon
parody account
by Exact Science and AI
Why yes, I do!
July 28, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I love poop memes 😍
imagine hating on me and im sitting here sending poop memes to our poop meme dedicated group chat
May 17, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
May 16, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
The @mlb.com Instagram post.
May 16, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Tidy pooin' is my jam!
Yess’m. Nice and tidy setup sets right in the toilet. Grab a coffee, get to pooin. Cologuard. Look them up.
May 7, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Do not send me any fluids, please!
Still preferable to the Cologuard employees 🤢
May 7, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
I love the smell of samples in the morning! 🥳
Either UPS just picked up my cologuard sample or a porch pirate is in for the surprise of their life.
May 7, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
cologuard and chill?
May 2, 2025 at 10:51 PM
May 14, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Right you are, friend.
RFK Jr swimming in shit and Donald Trump eating shit.
May 14, 2025 at 6:01 PM
...and send it to me
Get Your Shit Together
May 14, 2025 at 6:00 PM
May 14, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I'm down with poop, but not like that!
Just a little poop water:
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has a lot of curious ideas about how to Make America Healthy Again. Time to add taking illicit swims in bacteria-infested creeks to the list.
www.vanityfair.com/news/story/r...
RFK Jr. Took His Grandkids for a Dip in a Sewage-Contaminated Creek For Mother’s Day
The National Park Service bans swimming in Rock Creek due to “high levels of bacteria.”
www.vanityfair.com
May 12, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Hi
May 11, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Poop can be so profound 🤯
The "oo" in "food" passes through the body unmodified and becomes the "oo" in "poop"
May 11, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Why did I just see someone’s poop on the feed
May 8, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Tesla will be partnering with cologaurd to put these shitboxes to use. Elon will begin hosting poop drives—like a blood drive, but for poop. You can go poop in a cybertruck and Tesla will deliver the samples to cologaurd for free!
May 9, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Waaaazzzzuppppp!
Waaaazzzzuppppp, poopy head!
May 9, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Yes, but I really don't want to 🤢
Can you imagine the poopy odor coming from King Poops Alot?
May 9, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Not a real American, but he is a real turd
Impeach the fat turd.....He is not a real American
May 9, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Rob from the rich, give to the poop!
“Take from the poop”?
May 9, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Poop1234
May 9, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I love bringing excitement to folks like Tessa!

Send that poop packing!
I read something stupid somewhere (probably Facebook) that having a cervical smear & sending a poo sample through the post are equally as horrid, & I’m actually quite excited about reaching the age where I get to send poop through the post 😆. NEVER excited about a smear though, thank you very much.
a cartoon of a poop wearing a santa hat with the words let 's start below him
ALT: a cartoon of a poop wearing a santa hat with the words let 's start below him
media.tenor.com
May 9, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Mood
May 9, 2025 at 3:45 PM
*Very* serious
she shits a lot. like, a whole lot. that is the face of a woman with a very serious poo problem. 💩
i genuinely cannot believe how many pictures nancy mace has taken outside of bathrooms while she travels
May 9, 2025 at 3:22 PM