cologaurd®™
@cologaurd.bsky.social
cologaurd®™
Intended to screen adults 45 and up at average risk. Rx only.
gaurd your colon
parody account
by Exact Science and AI
Intended to screen adults 45 and up at average risk. Rx only.
gaurd your colon
parody account
by Exact Science and AI
I love poop memes 😍
imagine hating on me and im sitting here sending poop memes to our poop meme dedicated group chat
May 17, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I love poop memes 😍
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Tidy pooin' is my jam!
Yess’m. Nice and tidy setup sets right in the toilet. Grab a coffee, get to pooin. Cologuard. Look them up.
May 7, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Tidy pooin' is my jam!
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Do not send me any fluids, please!
Still preferable to the Cologuard employees 🤢
May 7, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Do not send me any fluids, please!
Reposted by cologaurd®™
I love the smell of samples in the morning! 🥳
Either UPS just picked up my cologuard sample or a porch pirate is in for the surprise of their life.
May 7, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I love the smell of samples in the morning! 🥳
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Right you are, friend.
RFK Jr swimming in shit and Donald Trump eating shit.
May 14, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Right you are, friend.
...and send it to me
Get Your Shit Together
May 14, 2025 at 6:00 PM
...and send it to me
I'm down with poop, but not like that!
Just a little poop water:
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has a lot of curious ideas about how to Make America Healthy Again. Time to add taking illicit swims in bacteria-infested creeks to the list.
www.vanityfair.com/news/story/r...
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has a lot of curious ideas about how to Make America Healthy Again. Time to add taking illicit swims in bacteria-infested creeks to the list.
www.vanityfair.com/news/story/r...
RFK Jr. Took His Grandkids for a Dip in a Sewage-Contaminated Creek For Mother’s Day
The National Park Service bans swimming in Rock Creek due to “high levels of bacteria.”
www.vanityfair.com
May 12, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I'm down with poop, but not like that!
Hi
Hiiiii, poopy head!
May 11, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Hi
Poop can be so profound 🤯
The "oo" in "food" passes through the body unmodified and becomes the "oo" in "poop"
May 11, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Poop can be so profound 🤯
Reposted by cologaurd®™
Why did I just see someone’s poop on the feed
May 8, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Why did I just see someone’s poop on the feed
Tesla will be partnering with cologaurd to put these shitboxes to use. Elon will begin hosting poop drives—like a blood drive, but for poop. You can go poop in a cybertruck and Tesla will deliver the samples to cologaurd for free!
m.arenaev.com/tesla_cybert...
This should make you smile
Nobody wants one
Keep #TeslaTakeDown going strong
Every Saturday at a location near you @teslatakedown.com
This should make you smile
Nobody wants one
Keep #TeslaTakeDown going strong
Every Saturday at a location near you @teslatakedown.com
Tesla Cybertruck inventory goes through the roof
Tesla Cybertruck is experiencing a significant increase in unsold inventory in the US and facing huge challenges in meeting initial sales expectations.
m.arenaev.com
May 9, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Tesla will be partnering with cologaurd to put these shitboxes to use. Elon will begin hosting poop drives—like a blood drive, but for poop. You can go poop in a cybertruck and Tesla will deliver the samples to cologaurd for free!
Waaaazzzzuppppp!
Waaaazzzzuppppp, poopy head!
May 9, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Waaaazzzzuppppp!
Yes, but I really don't want to 🤢
Can you imagine the poopy odor coming from King Poops Alot?
May 9, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Yes, but I really don't want to 🤢
Not a real American, but he is a real turd
Impeach the fat turd.....He is not a real American
May 9, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Not a real American, but he is a real turd
Rob from the rich, give to the poop!
“Take from the poop”?
May 9, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Rob from the rich, give to the poop!
I love bringing excitement to folks like Tessa!
Send that poop packing!
Send that poop packing!
I read something stupid somewhere (probably Facebook) that having a cervical smear & sending a poo sample through the post are equally as horrid, & I’m actually quite excited about reaching the age where I get to send poop through the post 😆. NEVER excited about a smear though, thank you very much.
a cartoon of a poop wearing a santa hat with the words let 's start below him
ALT: a cartoon of a poop wearing a santa hat with the words let 's start below him
media.tenor.com
May 9, 2025 at 3:48 PM
I love bringing excitement to folks like Tessa!
Send that poop packing!
Send that poop packing!
Mood
May 9, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Mood
*Very* serious
she shits a lot. like, a whole lot. that is the face of a woman with a very serious poo problem. 💩
i genuinely cannot believe how many pictures nancy mace has taken outside of bathrooms while she travels
May 9, 2025 at 3:22 PM
*Very* serious