@clashrat.bsky.social
I have received a belated birthday gift from the universe
December 29, 2025 at 1:38 PM
I have received a belated birthday gift from the universe
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Remember the 1920s when nobody was left-handed
December 24, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Remember the 1920s when nobody was left-handed
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Felt Beard Taped To Child’s Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go
December 24, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Felt Beard Taped To Child’s Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go
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Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering
December 25, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering
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my festive spirit amidst our grimly stupid reality (2025)
December 23, 2025 at 9:34 PM
my festive spirit amidst our grimly stupid reality (2025)
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“I wish I knew how to quit you,” I say to my 3rd bowl of breakfast spaghetti
December 12, 2025 at 3:23 PM
“I wish I knew how to quit you,” I say to my 3rd bowl of breakfast spaghetti
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Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
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broke: Paul died in '66 and was replaced
woke: Paul died in '66, but he was okay, which explains how he explodes at all of his concerts during live and let die
woke: Paul died in '66, but he was okay, which explains how he explodes at all of his concerts during live and let die
November 6, 2025 at 3:17 AM
broke: Paul died in '66 and was replaced
woke: Paul died in '66, but he was okay, which explains how he explodes at all of his concerts during live and let die
woke: Paul died in '66, but he was okay, which explains how he explodes at all of his concerts during live and let die
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White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
WASHINGTON—Expressing horror as an unidentified slimy substance dripped on her shoulder from above, White House maid Carla Ovares reportedly shrieked Tuesday after spotting first lady Melania Trump on...
theonion.com
November 4, 2025 at 6:59 PM
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
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Rich people whining that they'll leave NYC if Mamdani wins is like when I used to threaten my mom that I'd run away from home if she kept forcing me to make my bed every morning so she'd open the front door and tell me to go ahead and I'd stand there for a minute and go back upstairs to make my bed
November 4, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Rich people whining that they'll leave NYC if Mamdani wins is like when I used to threaten my mom that I'd run away from home if she kept forcing me to make my bed every morning so she'd open the front door and tell me to go ahead and I'd stand there for a minute and go back upstairs to make my bed
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makes me weep to think of the gifts robbed from us because unaffordable housing has made it difficult for people to pursue their passions and hobbies
October 26, 2025 at 8:49 PM
makes me weep to think of the gifts robbed from us because unaffordable housing has made it difficult for people to pursue their passions and hobbies
Some how, a beautiful woman has dealt with me for 7 whole years, even marrying me for 2 of them
October 21, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Some how, a beautiful woman has dealt with me for 7 whole years, even marrying me for 2 of them
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We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there
October 2, 2025 at 6:28 PM
We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there
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"We're going to create superintelligence" How about making outlook search work first. How about that
October 3, 2025 at 5:18 PM
"We're going to create superintelligence" How about making outlook search work first. How about that
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Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving
September 24, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving
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Are you... are you part of the *homo-sexual underground*?
September 25, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Are you... are you part of the *homo-sexual underground*?
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Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work https://theonion.com/relaxing-tea-better-fucking-work-1819579209/
September 20, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work https://theonion.com/relaxing-tea-better-fucking-work-1819579209/
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"I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights" - Charlie Kirk, 2023
www.mediamatters.org/charlie-kirk...
www.mediamatters.org/charlie-kirk...
September 10, 2025 at 6:50 PM
"I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights" - Charlie Kirk, 2023
www.mediamatters.org/charlie-kirk...
www.mediamatters.org/charlie-kirk...
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Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty https://theonion.com/search-for-public-restroom-an-epic-ordeal-of-alienation-1819566549/
August 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty https://theonion.com/search-for-public-restroom-an-epic-ordeal-of-alienation-1819566549/
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New Evidence Finds Titanic Passengers Continued Eating From Buffet As Ship Sank https://theonion.com/new-evidence-finds-titanic-passengers-continued-eating-1836407827/
August 24, 2025 at 7:00 PM
New Evidence Finds Titanic Passengers Continued Eating From Buffet As Ship Sank https://theonion.com/new-evidence-finds-titanic-passengers-continued-eating-1836407827/
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Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet
August 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet