Maya
@cincodemaya.bsky.social
Unhappily procrastinating. Graceful as a penguin out of water.
I just got my first “SO IS IT TWINS HARDY HAR HAR HAR”
a man in a red jacket with the words do you wanna die written below him
ALT: a man in a red jacket with the words do you wanna die written below him
media.tenor.com
November 1, 2025 at 4:21 PM
I just got my first “SO IS IT TWINS HARDY HAR HAR HAR”
Reposted by Maya
Hello kids. Great costumes. You can have boring regular candy or, in exchange for a small fee, you can invest in something I'm calling Candy Premium, an AI-enabled solution that
November 1, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Hello kids. Great costumes. You can have boring regular candy or, in exchange for a small fee, you can invest in something I'm calling Candy Premium, an AI-enabled solution that
Reposted by Maya
Custom made double breasted uniform great coat not alluding to any historical period in particular surely
Here is Gregory Bovino, the man in charge of ICE agents in Chicago.
October 28, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Custom made double breasted uniform great coat not alluding to any historical period in particular surely
Reposted by Maya
New by me —>
Remember "Gulf of America"? Nine months later, news outlets have stuck to that other name everyone calls it
www.niemanlab.org/2025/10/nine...
Remember "Gulf of America"? Nine months later, news outlets have stuck to that other name everyone calls it
www.niemanlab.org/2025/10/nine...
Nine months later, that body of water down south is still the “Gulf of Mexico” to news outlets
Since the start of summer, "Gulf of America" has been losing what little popularity it had in newsrooms.
www.niemanlab.org
October 27, 2025 at 9:04 PM
New by me —>
Remember "Gulf of America"? Nine months later, news outlets have stuck to that other name everyone calls it
www.niemanlab.org/2025/10/nine...
Remember "Gulf of America"? Nine months later, news outlets have stuck to that other name everyone calls it
www.niemanlab.org/2025/10/nine...
OB: It’s not a bad idea for you to start pelvic floor PT. Here’s a referral and here’s a giant list of all the pelvic floor PT practitioners.
Me: Surely ONE of these will be 1) close to me, 2) accept new patients, 3) accept insurance.
Universe: lol bitch lower your standards.
Me: Surely ONE of these will be 1) close to me, 2) accept new patients, 3) accept insurance.
Universe: lol bitch lower your standards.
October 24, 2025 at 1:39 PM
OB: It’s not a bad idea for you to start pelvic floor PT. Here’s a referral and here’s a giant list of all the pelvic floor PT practitioners.
Me: Surely ONE of these will be 1) close to me, 2) accept new patients, 3) accept insurance.
Universe: lol bitch lower your standards.
Me: Surely ONE of these will be 1) close to me, 2) accept new patients, 3) accept insurance.
Universe: lol bitch lower your standards.
Reposted by Maya
I for one think the Epstein Ballroom will be magnificent. I love the decor theme of “what if Uday Hussein ran a Ramada Inn.” And giving it a theme song everyone will associate with it is a stroke of brilliance! “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” is very catchy.
October 23, 2025 at 2:17 AM
I for one think the Epstein Ballroom will be magnificent. I love the decor theme of “what if Uday Hussein ran a Ramada Inn.” And giving it a theme song everyone will associate with it is a stroke of brilliance! “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” is very catchy.
Reposted by Maya
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
October 22, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
Reposted by Maya
Tiny criminal, photographed this morning.
She jumped in the plant and promptly got digging zoomies.
She jumped in the plant and promptly got digging zoomies.
October 22, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Tiny criminal, photographed this morning.
She jumped in the plant and promptly got digging zoomies.
She jumped in the plant and promptly got digging zoomies.
Reposted by Maya
WELL HOW ABOUT THAT
"A millionaire levy in Massachusetts has generated $3 billion more in revenue than expected without forcing significant high-profile departures from the state."
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
"A millionaire levy in Massachusetts has generated $3 billion more in revenue than expected without forcing significant high-profile departures from the state."
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
Millionaire Tax That Inspired Mamdani Fuels $5.7 Billion Haul in Massachusetts
A millionaire levy in Massachusetts that New York City mayoral frontrunner Zohran Mamdani holds up as a model for taxing the rich has generated $3 billion more in revenue than expected without forcing...
www.bloomberg.com
October 21, 2025 at 3:22 PM
WELL HOW ABOUT THAT
"A millionaire levy in Massachusetts has generated $3 billion more in revenue than expected without forcing significant high-profile departures from the state."
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
"A millionaire levy in Massachusetts has generated $3 billion more in revenue than expected without forcing significant high-profile departures from the state."
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
I should be able to charge chocolate covered almonds to my FSA, dammit.
October 20, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I should be able to charge chocolate covered almonds to my FSA, dammit.
Reposted by Maya
“All my friends murdered and raped, sometimes they hung out at my house. Get over yourself.”
October 20, 2025 at 12:22 AM
“All my friends murdered and raped, sometimes they hung out at my house. Get over yourself.”
Reposted by Maya
I would laugh if this wasn't so true 😭
October 19, 2025 at 11:42 AM
I would laugh if this wasn't so true 😭
Reposted by Maya
the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist
October 19, 2025 at 10:19 PM
the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist
Reposted by Maya
oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter
October 17, 2025 at 4:10 PM
oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter
Yesterday felt like Friday. Today feels like an indignity.
October 17, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Yesterday felt like Friday. Today feels like an indignity.
So the moral of the story is don’t (do) send the 7.5 month pregnant person into the bakery if you don’t (do) want to be drowning in pastries.
October 16, 2025 at 9:12 PM
So the moral of the story is don’t (do) send the 7.5 month pregnant person into the bakery if you don’t (do) want to be drowning in pastries.
Sometimes a bitch needs to buy herself two pastries on the way into work because traffic was extra absurd and she got cut off twice, once by a so-and-so doing her makeup while driving.
October 15, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Sometimes a bitch needs to buy herself two pastries on the way into work because traffic was extra absurd and she got cut off twice, once by a so-and-so doing her makeup while driving.
Rosie want boop.
Give Rosie boop.
Give Rosie boop.
October 14, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Rosie want boop.
Give Rosie boop.
Give Rosie boop.
Being in your 30’s is sneezing and hurting your neck.
October 13, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Being in your 30’s is sneezing and hurting your neck.
Reposted by Maya
Hallelujah it’s finally hot tea season
patrick star from spongebob is pouring a cup of tea
ALT: patrick star from spongebob is pouring a cup of tea
media.tenor.com
October 12, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Hallelujah it’s finally hot tea season
Two hours of work means I’ve earned a mid-morning nap night night 😴
October 9, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Two hours of work means I’ve earned a mid-morning nap night night 😴
Reposted by Maya
A “capitalist, bourgeois” breast implant implies the existence of a “socialist, proletariat” breast implant.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
North Koreans ordered to check women for 'bourgeois' breast implants
Authorities in the city of Sariwon have been ordered to conduct physical examinations of women suspected to have undergone breast augmentation surgery.
www.dailymail.co.uk
October 1, 2025 at 2:56 PM
A “capitalist, bourgeois” breast implant implies the existence of a “socialist, proletariat” breast implant.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
Reposted by Maya
OCTOBER 1ST
a person with a pumpkin on their head is dancing in a cemetery
Alt: A PERSON W/ A PUMPKIN ON THEIR HEAD DANCING IN A FOGGY CEMETERY
media.tenor.com
October 1, 2025 at 11:13 AM
OCTOBER 1ST