champagneunicorn.bsky.social
@champagneunicorn.bsky.social
So well-played.
Just been laughed at by an entire vet’s waiting room when the receptionist loudly welcomed me and ‘ASTEROID DESTROYER!’ to the building.
Look guys.
She’s even in her space suit.
They will be laughing on the other side of their labradors when she RULES THE WORLD!!!! ✊😾
👩‍🚀 ☄️🐈‍⬛
December 17, 2025 at 5:25 AM
How are these peeps so fucking clever?
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
December 13, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Dis is what it’s about.
Happy Thanksgiving. You don’t have to believe in the premise of the holiday (I sure as hell don’t), but: you can believe in good friends, the family we choose, and sharing food, happiness, maybe good movies. That’s what Thanksgiving is to me, and the specifics don’t matter. Find joy in each other.
Happy Thanksgiving Walking GIF
Alt: Happy Thanksgiving Walking GIF
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Powerful mathing. Love a great stat.
November 23, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Yup.
November 21, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Well, I guess if you weren’t 100% sure we were already living in illiberal democracy… today is your day.
November 10, 2025 at 3:57 PM
For my wife. But she’d take any free hit she could get..
Walking home from the coffee shop and someone tried to give me a free spider plant. Yeah, I know how this works. First ones free. Then before you know it you’re repotting succulents in back alleys
September 1, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Can I upgrade just on principle?
Netflix just gave Gavin Newsom 2 million for the redistricting fight and made a deal with Sesame Street. New episodes will air there and the backlog of old episodes will Be free to watch.

Netflix picked a side. I will keep my subscription.
September 1, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Reposted
In solidarity with Kevin Sorbo and Scott Baio stating they are refusing any acting jobs in California, I hereby refuse to play defense for the Colorado Avalanche in the upcoming season!
I will also not be pitching for the Rockies this year...
HOLD THE LINE, BOYS!👍
August 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Definitely want some more of these guys. LFG.
August 19, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I try to remind myself of this everyday..
August 19, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Reposted
DC right now!

#Resist
August 12, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Reposted
Give them no peace!
August 7, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Reposted
BREAKING: The US government has just removed sections 9 and 10 of Article I of the US Constitution from their website.

Note that sections 9 and 10 deal with:

- Writ of Habeas Corpus
- Congresses ability to control tariffs.

See screenshot below: Notice that 9 and 10 are gone.
August 6, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Reposted
August 4, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Reposted
The cost of food has risen faster than overall inflation in the last year.
Almost 90% Of Americans Are Worried About The Cost Of Groceries
The cost of food has risen faster than overall inflation in the last year.
www.forbes.com
August 4, 2025 at 5:10 PM
August 5, 2025 at 1:17 AM
I have two boys. I aspire and hope I do right by them.
you know who teaches boys how to be decent men?

their parents, their relatives, their local community, their mentors and role models.

Plenty of young men grow up to be whole human beings

so what I'd be asking is why are the people closest to them failing these specific young men?
August 4, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Reposted
The annoying spam texts destroying the Democratic brand:

$678M raised through those spam tactics

$282M to one consulting firm: Mothership Strategies.

$11M to actual campaigns (1.6%)

The party isn’t just treating donors like marks—it’s being fleeced itself yet continues to back Mothership.
The Mothership Vortex: An Investigation Into the Firm at the Heart of the Democratic Spam Machine
How a single consulting firm extracted $282 million from a network of spam PACs while delivering just $11 million to actual campaigns.
open.substack.com
August 3, 2025 at 5:02 PM
The root of the real problem.
As usual, Bill Burr doesn’t miss 🎯
August 2, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Reposted
July 25, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Reposted
Our young philosopher king bringing more pure clarity and passion to this issue than years of “immigration issue” discussion by political leaders. And he can also make you laugh. So on target, consistently. 🎯
When you strip away humanity
July 26, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Haaaa. I always think about this when I’m at the library. Just recently have been considering will libraries even exist for my grandkids?
And don't forget to sign them up for the Imagination Library, which is Dolly Parton's free book delivery service.
They send 1 book per month until the child turns 5. 😊
July 25, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Reposted
I AM SHRIEKING 💀🤣

Forget the statue at City Hall, this guy is the *real* Spirit of Detroit. 🫡
July 22, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Never prouder to be a Lions fan. Damn. What a guy.
This is how it’s done, No Bull 💩, No drama and No Grandstanding!
July 22, 2025 at 8:16 PM