CaptHandlebar
@capthandlebar.bsky.social
You thought God was an architect, now you know he’s something like a pipe bomb ready to blow.
I started my day in Central America. Now I have to deal with this shit?
January 31, 2026 at 1:20 AM
I started my day in Central America. Now I have to deal with this shit?
Its like a snake regurgitating its own tail at this point, right?
It’s pretty fucking wild that the DOJ is releasing files that include accusations that the President of the United States raped underage girls, to distract from the fact that the DOJ is covering up murders of US citizens by their own government.
January 31, 2026 at 1:16 AM
Its like a snake regurgitating its own tail at this point, right?
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government
![To: 'eevacation mail.com 'eevacation@gmail.coml
From:
Sent hurl 1 / 1 : :
Subject: E-STOP: Message to Impacted Users
Title: Xbox LIVE - E-STOP: Message to Impacted Users
Xbox LIVE
E-STOP: Message to Impacted Users
Dear Xbox LIVE member,
This message is to notify you that Xbox LIVE has permanently suspended the Xbox LIVE
account associated with this email address. This action is based on the New York Attorney
GeneralAs partnership with Microsoft and other online gaming companies to remove New York
registered sex offenders from online gaming services to minimize the risk to others, particularly
children. As a result, any Xbox LIVE account associated with this email address will not be able
to connect to Xbox LIVE.
If you have an Xbox LIVE Gold subscription, or any unused Microsoft points, we are refunding
the remaining value of those to you within 30 days.
If you do not receive a refund within 30 days, or if you feel that you have been banned
incorrectly, please send Microsoft a notice using the process at www.xbox.com/notice.
Sincerely,
Xbox LIVE
[ ESTOP/P/I ]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:3lhbiajvxbvxr33ff64o2gic/bafkreiepjxjz42hpobdopqpgom2srzymfzoc6bczitgtqly44wtsqxp5eq@jpeg)
January 30, 2026 at 11:10 PM
xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government
There is someone at IAH who loves yelling into the PA system.
I am at gate A2 and something about gate A22 (?) looking for passengers for the seventh last boarding call in the last 10 minutes.
I have a thing about people yelling into microphones. The PA amplifies your voice, ya idiot.
I am at gate A2 and something about gate A22 (?) looking for passengers for the seventh last boarding call in the last 10 minutes.
I have a thing about people yelling into microphones. The PA amplifies your voice, ya idiot.
January 30, 2026 at 10:04 PM
There is someone at IAH who loves yelling into the PA system.
I am at gate A2 and something about gate A22 (?) looking for passengers for the seventh last boarding call in the last 10 minutes.
I have a thing about people yelling into microphones. The PA amplifies your voice, ya idiot.
I am at gate A2 and something about gate A22 (?) looking for passengers for the seventh last boarding call in the last 10 minutes.
I have a thing about people yelling into microphones. The PA amplifies your voice, ya idiot.
Fuhhhhhh
Catherine O’Hara, who starred in legendary films “Beetlejuice” and “Home Alone” before taking a star turn as Moira Rose on “Schitt’s Creek,” has died. She was 71. https://cnn.it/4t7OhRR
January 30, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Fuhhhhhh
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
Uhhhh this file magically disappeared from the dump after being up for a while apparently
January 30, 2026 at 6:33 PM
Uhhhh this file magically disappeared from the dump after being up for a while apparently
IYKYK
(It is real beer but it is a real airport beer). Also, Global Entry is awesome.
#Heineken0 #PTY #IAH #IND
(It is real beer but it is a real airport beer). Also, Global Entry is awesome.
#Heineken0 #PTY #IAH #IND
January 30, 2026 at 6:54 PM
IYKYK
(It is real beer but it is a real airport beer). Also, Global Entry is awesome.
#Heineken0 #PTY #IAH #IND
(It is real beer but it is a real airport beer). Also, Global Entry is awesome.
#Heineken0 #PTY #IAH #IND
There is something unsettling about turning on the tv in a hotel room in Central America and it is tuned in to Fox News from the previous tenant.
January 27, 2026 at 1:35 AM
There is something unsettling about turning on the tv in a hotel room in Central America and it is tuned in to Fox News from the previous tenant.
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
This can’t be repeated enough. Not only won’t they investigate, they may never even tell us who did this.
Think about the message that sends to the next ones. Nobody is safe.
Think about the message that sends to the next ones. Nobody is safe.
January 26, 2026 at 5:22 AM
This can’t be repeated enough. Not only won’t they investigate, they may never even tell us who did this.
Think about the message that sends to the next ones. Nobody is safe.
Think about the message that sends to the next ones. Nobody is safe.
“No! Make it worse and less good! This is an easy way people can begin their day in a moment of enjoyment and peace. We must not let them!”
- Hotel CEOs when asked about sourcing shower heads
- Hotel CEOs when asked about sourcing shower heads
January 26, 2026 at 12:01 PM
“No! Make it worse and less good! This is an easy way people can begin their day in a moment of enjoyment and peace. We must not let them!”
- Hotel CEOs when asked about sourcing shower heads
- Hotel CEOs when asked about sourcing shower heads
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
NBA star Tyrese Halliburton speaks out
January 25, 2026 at 1:49 AM
NBA star Tyrese Halliburton speaks out
Our government leaders are real pieces of shit.
Noem lies shamelessly: "An individual approached order Patrol officers with a 9mm semi-automatic gun. The officers attempted to disarm this individual, but the armed suspect reacted violently. This looks like a situation where an individual arrived to inflict maximum damage and kill law enforcement"
January 24, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Our government leaders are real pieces of shit.
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
The official lie is that he came over to interfere with their operations, when you can plainly see several of them get out of their cars, cross the street and confront him there.
Video before it happens is showing this guy they shot in the head in Minneapolis was just standing there videoing them before and they got out to push him back and then murder him.
January 24, 2026 at 10:03 PM
The official lie is that he came over to interfere with their operations, when you can plainly see several of them get out of their cars, cross the street and confront him there.
“Universe Cup” is a great way to stick it to this administration and FIFA at the same time.
Make it so.
Make it so.
A German soccer federation executive committee member says it's time to consider a World Cup boycott because of the actions of U.S. President Donald Trump.
German soccer federation official wants World Cup boycott considered because of Trump
A German soccer federation executive committee member says it’s time to consider a World Cup boycott because of the actions of U.S. President Donald Trump.
bit.ly
January 24, 2026 at 1:39 AM
“Universe Cup” is a great way to stick it to this administration and FIFA at the same time.
Make it so.
Make it so.
“In Post We Trust”
January 24, 2026 at 1:09 AM
“In Post We Trust”
“Why does everyone need to talk about everything?” - Don Draper, Mad Men.
a man in a suit and tie is driving a convertible car on a highway .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is driving a convertible car on a highway .
media.tenor.com
January 24, 2026 at 12:14 AM
“Why does everyone need to talk about everything?” - Don Draper, Mad Men.
“…but who is able to do anything about it, right?!”
A federal judge expressed deep skepticism that the White House has legal authority to construct President Donald Trump’s massive new ballroom without express authorization from Congress.
Federal judge appears skeptical that Trump has legal authority to proceed with White House ballroom | CNN Politics
A federal judge expressed deep skepticism Thursday that the White House has legal authority to construct President Donald Trump’s massive new ballroom without express authorization from Congress.
www.cnn.com
January 23, 2026 at 3:37 AM
“…but who is able to do anything about it, right?!”
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
Yesterday it was cows using tools, today its penguins using satellite imagery.
January 20, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Yesterday it was cows using tools, today its penguins using satellite imagery.
Darian Devries got six years and $27M for this? Yikes.
Ha! I am pretty sure that Tucker Devries doesn’t even want to play for this team. It is like he is trying to foul out before he breaks a sweat.
Obligatory: This is a bad team.
Obligatory: This is a bad team.
January 21, 2026 at 12:27 AM
Darian Devries got six years and $27M for this? Yikes.
Ha! I am pretty sure that Tucker Devries doesn’t even want to play for this team. It is like he is trying to foul out before he breaks a sweat.
Obligatory: This is a bad team.
Obligatory: This is a bad team.
January 21, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Ha! I am pretty sure that Tucker Devries doesn’t even want to play for this team. It is like he is trying to foul out before he breaks a sweat.
Obligatory: This is a bad team.
Obligatory: This is a bad team.
“ALL CHAMPAGNES ARE FRENCH!”
- me, trying to sound like I have a deep-rooted knowledge in wines
- me, trying to sound like I have a deep-rooted knowledge in wines
President Trump has proposed a 200% tariff on French wines and champagnes in an attempt to persuade French President Emmanuel Macron to join his Board of Peace initiative. https://tinyurl.com/4j8y9by3
January 20, 2026 at 1:18 PM
“ALL CHAMPAGNES ARE FRENCH!”
- me, trying to sound like I have a deep-rooted knowledge in wines
- me, trying to sound like I have a deep-rooted knowledge in wines
Reposted by CaptHandlebar
Miami lost three games this season and their last offensive play of each one of them was a Carson Beck interception
January 20, 2026 at 4:17 AM
Miami lost three games this season and their last offensive play of each one of them was a Carson Beck interception
Hey!
Indiana will be in the national news and it won’t be embarrassing!
Indiana will be in the national news and it won’t be embarrassing!
January 20, 2026 at 4:22 AM
Hey!
Indiana will be in the national news and it won’t be embarrassing!
Indiana will be in the national news and it won’t be embarrassing!
16-0.
Hell of a season.
Miami was much stronger than I anticipated.
Hell of a season.
Miami was much stronger than I anticipated.
a crowd of people are sitting in a theatre applauding .
ALT: a crowd of people are sitting in a theatre applauding .
media.tenor.com
January 20, 2026 at 4:18 AM
16-0.
Hell of a season.
Miami was much stronger than I anticipated.
Hell of a season.
Miami was much stronger than I anticipated.