Fill Colons
@uneasylover.bsky.social
The doctors told me I'd never post again
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For his crimes against Trump, Jerome Powell is hereby sentenced to 20ml of lip filler and 100% buccal fat removal
augmented reality googles for ICE that makes everyone look like Gumby
January 23, 2026 at 4:02 AM
augmented reality googles for ICE that makes everyone look like Gumby
Welcome to Hell Week, you fucking pukes!! By the end we'll find out if anyone here really is the "World's Best Grandpa"
January 22, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Welcome to Hell Week, you fucking pukes!! By the end we'll find out if anyone here really is the "World's Best Grandpa"
I'm the guy you should let live to tell the tale. I'll make you sound like a badass.
January 22, 2026 at 5:55 AM
I'm the guy you should let live to tell the tale. I'll make you sound like a badass.
Had to get this shit for when we play our song Get In The Way Of My Hands (Or Fuck With The Strings)
January 21, 2026 at 11:44 PM
Had to get this shit for when we play our song Get In The Way Of My Hands (Or Fuck With The Strings)
America must cleanse its soul with a 48-hour jenkem ceremony presided over by The Q-Anon Shaman
January 21, 2026 at 7:27 PM
America must cleanse its soul with a 48-hour jenkem ceremony presided over by The Q-Anon Shaman
Ask your doctor about dryarrhea, the dry diarrhea
January 20, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Ask your doctor about dryarrhea, the dry diarrhea
🤙yo you ready to get ur dick wet tonite?
✋️no bro. I only get it wet once a week to preserve the natural oils.
✋️no bro. I only get it wet once a week to preserve the natural oils.
January 20, 2026 at 6:19 AM
🤙yo you ready to get ur dick wet tonite?
✋️no bro. I only get it wet once a week to preserve the natural oils.
✋️no bro. I only get it wet once a week to preserve the natural oils.
showing my baby boy hundreds of hours of parkour fail bone breaks so he'll know what to look out for when he eventually starts doing parkour and realizing I've turned into my parents
January 19, 2026 at 3:43 AM
showing my baby boy hundreds of hours of parkour fail bone breaks so he'll know what to look out for when he eventually starts doing parkour and realizing I've turned into my parents
As you can tell by the many screaming posts, Barack Hussein Obama has died.
January 19, 2026 at 2:44 AM
As you can tell by the many screaming posts, Barack Hussein Obama has died.
Not enough people care about what's in their food. I stopped drinking milk when I found out the stuff in stores doesn't come from dogs but instead some weird huge animal.
January 18, 2026 at 9:46 PM
Not enough people care about what's in their food. I stopped drinking milk when I found out the stuff in stores doesn't come from dogs but instead some weird huge animal.
is there liquid life after liquid death
January 18, 2026 at 9:36 PM
is there liquid life after liquid death
Truck nuts, or a Transformer that forgot to fold in his boys?
January 18, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Truck nuts, or a Transformer that forgot to fold in his boys?
Someone once told me they were opposed to bidets because they "didn't want to stick anything up their ass"
January 18, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Someone once told me they were opposed to bidets because they "didn't want to stick anything up their ass"
Thanks to shrinkflation I can only afford to hit myself in the head with a tiny ball peen hammer
January 16, 2026 at 9:49 PM
Thanks to shrinkflation I can only afford to hit myself in the head with a tiny ball peen hammer
Ohhh ohh! did poor baby ICE get a butt bleed?? Toughen up, Petunia. Every morning I drop a peanut butter and jelly in the toilet bowl and thank God for the privilege.
January 16, 2026 at 7:38 PM
Ohhh ohh! did poor baby ICE get a butt bleed?? Toughen up, Petunia. Every morning I drop a peanut butter and jelly in the toilet bowl and thank God for the privilege.
News from the front, Second American Civil War:
* Commander Kyle Rittenhouse has lost his leg (diabetes)
* Commander Kyle Rittenhouse has lost his leg (diabetes)
January 16, 2026 at 6:20 AM
News from the front, Second American Civil War:
* Commander Kyle Rittenhouse has lost his leg (diabetes)
* Commander Kyle Rittenhouse has lost his leg (diabetes)
WHat is going on in these nursing homes? At xmas dinner my cousin said 9/11 was an inside job and my grandma slapped him and said such talk was an insult to the holy labors of Mohamed Atta??
January 16, 2026 at 1:24 AM
WHat is going on in these nursing homes? At xmas dinner my cousin said 9/11 was an inside job and my grandma slapped him and said such talk was an insult to the holy labors of Mohamed Atta??
Pet peeve: when I'm out walking and the Devil is walking directly behind me perfectly mimicking my steps and when I turn to ask him to stop, he quickly circles behind me so I can't properly confront him.
January 15, 2026 at 8:58 PM
Pet peeve: when I'm out walking and the Devil is walking directly behind me perfectly mimicking my steps and when I turn to ask him to stop, he quickly circles behind me so I can't properly confront him.
Visiting LA, the only thing more disappointing than The Walk of Fame is The 'Ghetti museum. So far, it's mostly paintings--no pasta of any kind.
January 15, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Visiting LA, the only thing more disappointing than The Walk of Fame is The 'Ghetti museum. So far, it's mostly paintings--no pasta of any kind.
FED ALERT: Something is up. My neighbor who is a xenochiropractologist (studies what it would be like to crack alien bones) just got rushed into a van by the secret service
January 15, 2026 at 2:03 AM
FED ALERT: Something is up. My neighbor who is a xenochiropractologist (studies what it would be like to crack alien bones) just got rushed into a van by the secret service
I'm answering all the scam calls like the Big Bopper
January 15, 2026 at 12:53 AM
I'm answering all the scam calls like the Big Bopper
I know Kristi Noem's type. She talks a big game--lots of bravado--but when it's finally pegging time she has no stamina for thrusting nor any theory of what she's should be doing.
January 14, 2026 at 8:50 PM
I know Kristi Noem's type. She talks a big game--lots of bravado--but when it's finally pegging time she has no stamina for thrusting nor any theory of what she's should be doing.
I'm getting an update that the ICE agent is in the hospital with severe internal injuries. Let this be a lesson to the community: warm up and do not push yourself too hard if you're going to attempt a self suck.
January 14, 2026 at 8:25 PM
I'm getting an update that the ICE agent is in the hospital with severe internal injuries. Let this be a lesson to the community: warm up and do not push yourself too hard if you're going to attempt a self suck.
Guy who doesn't know Frankenstein was the scientist: Bride of Frankenstein? Disgusting. There's no way the monster can consent. Sounds like a Halloween-themed Lolita to me.
January 14, 2026 at 7:13 PM
Guy who doesn't know Frankenstein was the scientist: Bride of Frankenstein? Disgusting. There's no way the monster can consent. Sounds like a Halloween-themed Lolita to me.
Why is it that when the government is gathering top experts to make first contact with aliens they never bring in a top chiropractor? Not for the back snapping but because they probably know a ton of ufo lore.
January 14, 2026 at 6:47 AM
Why is it that when the government is gathering top experts to make first contact with aliens they never bring in a top chiropractor? Not for the back snapping but because they probably know a ton of ufo lore.