aRealHumanBartender
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alltomato1717.bsky.social
aRealHumanBartender
@alltomato1717.bsky.social
genX/human/OFMD nerd/real estate novelist/potato/idiot 🏴‍☠️

she/her

https://archiveofourown.org/users/aRealHumanBartender
anyone here ever deal with trigeminal neuralgia?
November 16, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
*drops this and runs away*

Thank you @politestmenace.bsky.social & @alimasin.bsky.social for your kind encouragement, it really means a lot to me

‘Roses Are Falling For You’ 💐
Rated T, 1.2k
archiveofourown.org/works/74169691
November 14, 2025 at 9:59 PM
yet another birthday in my house today - I searched my photos for “baby” to find that one pic I love the most and lo and behold - iphone also labeled THIS “baby.” Will accept.
November 15, 2025 at 12:54 PM
love knowing how many delicious fics there are to read on a Friday night. bless you all.
November 15, 2025 at 12:31 AM
If you like the flowers, you **need** to see the sea creatures! I used to work on Oxford Street and these were on display for a while - not sure they still are - but check out the short video. Truly amazing these are GLASS.

vimeo.com/99769917?fl=...
November 14, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
It's been a while since we've done one of these and I feel it's time once again spark some matches!

ARTISTS: do you have a piece of #OFMD art you'd love to read words for? Reply or QRP this post!

WRITERS: Check the quotes/replies on this post and see if inspiration strikes!
#OFMDfanart #OFMDfic
November 14, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
today at IHTOV:

joe o'donnell takes us on a journey through his days working at a record store in massachusetts ihavethatonvinyl.com/essays/feeli...
Feelin’ Good Vibes
My coworkers were all older than me, which I loved. Laura, the assistant manager, was eighteen, with platinum-dyed spiked hair like Billy Idol, though her favorite singer was Adam Ant. She had just re...
ihavethatonvinyl.com
November 14, 2025 at 10:22 AM
I love that at 52 every morning feels like my skeleton is trying to violently exit my skin. This is great. There is no amount of exercise or omega3 that can step in for estrogen, man. And that blows (hrt was a migraine maker for me😭)
a skeleton is walking down a store aisle holding a cup .
ALT: a skeleton is walking down a store aisle holding a cup .
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 12:11 PM
A 13 year old Apple voice “memo” from my then 4 year old daughter. “Monclay Barioni” shows up over and over - it’s her scheduling “mom play barbies with me”
💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
November 14, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
Considered shading but… Eh.

Anyways. I have no damn idea how to make pies. I had to stare at photos of pies to figure out a (badly done) design for one. I don’t like pies. Except creampies 😉

Anyways. Here’s my post for #OurFlagMeansFall2025 prompt of pie!
November 13, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Lucius AND the Rat Boys? That’s overkill.
(but oohboy geese and tre burt? hurray for the riff raff? not too shabby)
November 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
November 13, 2025 at 5:43 AM
I never, ever read one of her stories without puzzling over how she pulled it off. This one is especially beautiful and haunting, expertly crafted. Sigh

www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...
“Mother of Men,” by Lauren Groff
I saw someone coming toward me through the twilight on the road ahead, a skinny man in a glowing white shirt, and dread rushed into me.
www.newyorker.com
November 13, 2025 at 1:15 PM
get to know your mutuals - list 10 random things you like:

Lays potato chips
naps
movies that have plays in them
luxury matches
thick socks
silk pajamas
90s rap
cowboy music
Lauren Groff stories
really strong coffee with a splash of cream
Get to know your mutuals. List 10 random things you like.

Prussian blue
slot canyons
dahlias
Sakura Pigma Micron pens
my "endurance athlete" hat
movie dates
cheez-its
well-constructed hiking socks
heavily place-based fiction/poetry
foreshortening
Get to know your mutuals. List 10 random things that you like.

Food preservation/canning
Animal behavior & training
Memes
Snow (spoken like a CA native 😂)
Beta work, esp character deep dives 😋
DIY anything, incl computers
Yapping about writing craft
Sending/receiving mail
Stickers
Space. All of it.
November 13, 2025 at 12:02 PM
Psst - hey you - check out the KNOCKOUT art by Matt @izzyhandsart.bsky.social for part 1 of my Whumptober series Love in the Time of Payphones. I am...speechless. Look at them! 😍
November 12, 2025 at 2:17 PM
the Revenge
(cartoon by New Yorker cartoonist Ellis Rosen and posted on their IG account)
November 12, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
I'm just rambling but: to everyone who feels like they don't have a place in fandom because they aren't writing fics or sharing art or seeing exclusives or w/e - I'm glad you're here just like. You as a person. If I don't know you well, I bet you're still great, and I bet the people who DO know you
November 11, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
Trump Solemnly Lays Wreath At Site Where He Would Have Died During Vietnam War If He Weren’t Rich https://theonion.com/trump-solemnly-lays-wreath-at-site-where-he-would-have-1832907992/
November 11, 2025 at 8:30 PM
oh
thank
god
November 11, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
we now gazed at the most wondrous phenomenon which the secret seas have hitherto revealed to mankind
November 11, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Reposted by aRealHumanBartender
y’all please watch my favorite edit about this!
November 10, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Very important question:

what is the best *savory* crepe filling?
a person is making a pancake on a black plate
ALT: a person is making a pancake on a black plate
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 12:34 PM
I think you should all read this. For reasons.

www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...
“Final Boy,” by Sam Lipsyte
“Oh, you write fan fiction,” she said. “We all write fan fiction,” I told her. “Some of us are just more honest about it.”
www.newyorker.com
November 11, 2025 at 4:05 AM
have a gentleman potato for your sorrows
November 10, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Well today is a huge fucking bummer, ngl. But there will be other days where good shit happens and so on, so I do hope our departing crew will pop back in from time to time bc we love you and we like having fun with you in this big dumb sandbox. Disappointment abounds. It won’t last.
November 10, 2025 at 5:37 PM