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robertaseaport.bsky.social
☠️ B ☠️
@robertaseaport.bsky.social
960 followers 790 following 5.7K posts
👸🏻| Cittàgazze spectre magnet, 41, she/her
💖| Robin Hood, OFMD, HDM, Tom Waits
🖋️| #seaglassyarns 🐙🩵🦈+🐻🦦🦔🧸
💀| https://ko-fi.com/robertaseaport

I block non-fandom followers. It's not you, I just don't want people looking at me if you're not in the club 🫶
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robertaseaport.bsky.social
☠️ B ☠️ @robertaseaport.bsky.social · Feb 20
🏴‍☠️ 🖋️
Textured teal background with a darker border and white text: Fic Series By Roberta Seaport
robertaseaport.bsky.social
I can deal with any amount of pain well enough but this exhaustion is overwhelming 💀 Also feels like I'm developing rock solid gym bro abs from endless coughing.
February 13, 2026 at 9:52 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Got distracted and forgot I was looking for actual selfies. Turns out they're mostly glasses tests 🤓 (Greens are my favourite)
Glasses selfie Glasses selfie Glasses selfie Sunglasses selfie
February 13, 2026 at 5:27 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Can these slop comments please stop 🥴
Bot slop fic comment
February 13, 2026 at 3:37 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Blackbeard superfans Frenchie, Pete, and Archie pull off the coolest scam of their lives
MAN EDITS A WIKIPEDIA PAGE TO GET BACKSTAGE FOR A SHOW
February 12, 2026 at 9:34 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
How do I block everything about the new Wuthering Heights from my entire life? I would rather have brutal pneumonia for another six months than see a single further reminder that it exists 💀
February 12, 2026 at 8:09 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Also my favourite selfie happened after the following conversation:

"My bra cups are bigger than my hats."

"Haha no way that's actually true."
Selfie
February 12, 2026 at 7:10 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
TREE. Taken with a leaky little plastic TLR I built from a kit.
Bare tree in a field
February 12, 2026 at 6:30 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Belated WIP Wednesday, if it counts as a WIP when you've not actively touched it in like seven months 🥴
"Who is it?" Stede whispers, wide-eyed with panic. "Do you think it's a burglar?" Ed wriggles under him trying to get him moving again. "Don't stop," he begs, way too close to care if it's an entire marching band and a couple of circus elephants. He digs his fingertips into the sweaty fuzz on Stede's backside and his face into the soft heat of his neck and murmurs it there too, desperately urging him on just a couple of vital moments more. "Please, babe, don't, not now." "Edward! There's someone there." Ed might fucking cry, actually. He slams his head back on the unfamiliar pillow a couple of times in frustration until Stede shushes him, propped up on both shaking arms above Ed's body with his head cocked like a dog who's just heard a rustling food wrapper in another room. There it is again, the creak of floorboards. "Just the house making house noises," Ed says and tries to tug Stede back for a kiss by his hair. But then the house speaks. "Uh... Blackbeard?" it says tentatively right outside the door. "Is that you?" Fuck, Stede mouths, turning immediately even pinker than he already was. Get rid of him! "Lucius is a fucking dead man," Ed whispers, although there's a bubble of hysterical giggles fighting now with his frustration. Louder, trying to sound cool and unbothered like this is an absolutely normal thing to happen on a Thursday afternoon, he calls, "Yeah. Hey, Pete." There's a short pause. Something soft and muffled that might be oh my god. Then: "Oookay." Another pause. "Is Lucius in there? It's totally cool if you're hooking up." "Certainly not!" Stede snaps. The next pause is longer. Then Pete says, very cautiously, "Hey, Stede." "Yes, hello! Look, would you mind buggering off, please? We're just in the middle of something." Ed stuffs half the duvet in his mouth trying to hold back the rising giggle fit. Stede's bitchy unimpressed face hovering above him is just making everything funnier, and then Pete says, "This is my house," in such a bewildered tone, like maybe he's not sure it actually is, that the full-body effort of trying not to audibly laugh forces Stede's dick right out of his arse, chased by a squeaky fart.
February 12, 2026 at 1:55 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Pinning a fragile little red string on my evidence board that might be nothing but also might be something very fucking creepy and weird 😠
February 12, 2026 at 1:49 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
This has been sitting around for months half-done and I just do not have the brain for words, but also it's been way too long since I posted anything, so here's half a chapter and I'll get to the rest at some point later 🥴

The Real Treasure, chapter 13! archiveofourown.org/works/550649...
"What do you mean Alma left?" Bare feet will do, and forget the sore back. Stede rushes out of the living room and almost collides with Ed, who was apparently coming to wake him up to organise some damage-control measures. "Left?" Stede repeats, frantically trying to scrub the sleep from his fuzzy eyes, and peers over Ed's shoulder at Louis through the kitchen door, where he's nonchalantly making a pot of tea with his back to them. "When? Where to?" "About half an hour ago and she didn't say. I don't think much of this teapot, the handle's not very ergonomic." Stede checks the wall clock. 9:21, and it's Oluwande's day today so there's a decent chance he was in a few minutes early and maybe saw her? Maybe? Hopefully? He turns for the front door, Ed right on his heels, and dashes down the narrow staircase at a dangerous pace to emerge through the archway at the bottom into the shop. "Olu? Have you—" He stops. Janet and Margie are at the counter with Seaglass Yarns tote bags full of purchases, just turning to leave and now greedily roving their eyes all over him and Ed. He realises then, horrified anew, that they're still in their sleepwear: Stede in a too tight t-shirt and little stripy cotton shorts skimpy enough to show his thigh garter tattoos plus a good inch or two of bare skin above them, and Ed even less-dressed in his black jersey boxers and an ancient baggy gym vest with gaping armholes that show off half his torso.
February 11, 2026 at 10:59 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Everything hurts and I can't breathe, and now the landlord says the electrician needs to come and faff with something in the house on Friday so I've got to get up and clean 💀💀💀
February 11, 2026 at 10:05 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Cheese fever + Deadloch news + final Project Hail Mary trailer all descending at once got me coughing my poor lungs right out of my face like a Yonkers zombie 💀🪦
February 10, 2026 at 11:29 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
I know the cheese man has kind eyes.
February 10, 2026 at 10:30 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Back to bed for me cos I still feel like death. I love and miss you crew 💖
February 10, 2026 at 12:23 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Beautiful @amuseoffyre.bsky.social sent me beautiful art 🥹🥰

(Also a gift for everyone who's asked for better details about the Grace Street windows situation 😅)
Painting by Fyre of Seaglass Stede and Ed chatting between their next door bedroom windows
February 10, 2026 at 12:20 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
💀
February 9, 2026 at 12:21 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
I've got pneumonia & feel like I've been kicked in the chest by an extra buff shire horse. Between that + extreme depression fugue I'm not doing great. Sorry to have made people worry 💖 Hopefully will be back in the real world soon, am just sleeping loads for now. Here's a superb owl from last year.
Cross stitch owl in fancy clothes pointing at a blackboard with ACAB written on it.
February 8, 2026 at 10:58 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
I think I've found the last straw but life keeps on sneaking more into awkward little hiding places. I'm so tired & trying so hard but everything only ever gets worse. Trying to fix my stupid head only makes it worse. People recite the "stay positive, it will get better" line but it just never does.
January 29, 2026 at 7:28 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Stayed with my parents again to try and shake off the kys voice, came home to discover my toilet has leaked and flooded right down through the kitchen 🙃
January 29, 2026 at 7:04 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
January 27, 2026 at 12:37 PM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
I can't stand not having a cat around. I've always had cats my whole life, so being without one for so long feels horribly wrong. Especially with the whole agoraphobia & depression battle & how I can barely leave the house?? Just having another life in the house that's not a spider matters so much.
January 26, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Reposted by ☠️ B ☠️
saucierspoons.bsky.social
I’m shaking and scared as hell. I hate to ask for anything.

*cw: senior pet/sick pet*
.
.
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Vulcan has been crying all day and I just saw some bloody urine in his litter box. He needs to go to the vet asap, but I have next to nothing for this. I’m not prepared at all. 😓

ko-fi.com/saucierspoon...
Support Sam 🥄
Support Sam 🥄
ko-fi.com
January 26, 2026 at 3:33 AM
Reposted by ☠️ B ☠️
rosymegglemoth.bsky.social
THE "POOP ON FASCISTS" RAFFLE
1/22/26 - 1/25/26
Rules:
💩 Make donation
💩 Any dollar amount gets 1 entry - every 10 dollar amount gets an additional entry ($50 = 5 entries)
💩 Comment with screenshot or comment that you're DMing a screenshot on discord [Rosymegglemoth]

(Rules continued below)
A crochet merman with a red tail and blonde hair laying in a plushy shell A crochet merman sitting in the lower half a golden egg A hat that has "poop on fascists" knitted on it The back of a hat that has birds knitted onto it
January 23, 2026 at 3:04 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Hypothesis: PROVEN. Only fic writers truly understand 😎
A great pro writer confirming she used to write fic
January 26, 2026 at 12:40 AM
robertaseaport.bsky.social
Do this!
January 24, 2026 at 2:16 PM