@aliasincognito.bsky.social
I’m not the person you’re thinking of, but just in case, I hear that guy has an above average wiener
Yeah, Long Covid is rough, but have you heard about Girthy Covid?
November 18, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Yeah, Long Covid is rough, but have you heard about Girthy Covid?
Reposted
Muted but not silenced.
You might not see it, but I am going to talk about butts, AGAIN.
You might not see it, but I am going to talk about butts, AGAIN.
November 17, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Muted but not silenced.
You might not see it, but I am going to talk about butts, AGAIN.
You might not see it, but I am going to talk about butts, AGAIN.
Me: As you can see from my yearbook, I was named most likely to succeed
Her: This is a police report saying you were arrested at McDonalds for exposing yourself to Grimace
Me: Successfully I might add!
Her: This is a police report saying you were arrested at McDonalds for exposing yourself to Grimace
Me: Successfully I might add!
September 20, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Me: As you can see from my yearbook, I was named most likely to succeed
Her: This is a police report saying you were arrested at McDonalds for exposing yourself to Grimace
Me: Successfully I might add!
Her: This is a police report saying you were arrested at McDonalds for exposing yourself to Grimace
Me: Successfully I might add!
Reposted
Me walking back into the party after clogging the host's toilet.
a man wearing a vest and a white shirt is standing with his arms outstretched
ALT: a man wearing a vest and a white shirt is standing with his arms outstretched
media.tenor.com
June 28, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Me walking back into the party after clogging the host's toilet.
Reposted
The rainbow was a promise from God to Noah that the next flood would be much more gay.
June 3, 2025 at 4:14 AM
The rainbow was a promise from God to Noah that the next flood would be much more gay.
Reposted
Millions hate me because I pee in the shower when I'm pressed for time. Or drunk. Or sick. Or just whenever I am taking a shower. Or whenever I have to pee.
May 29, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Millions hate me because I pee in the shower when I'm pressed for time. Or drunk. Or sick. Or just whenever I am taking a shower. Or whenever I have to pee.
Reposted
Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning
March 16, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning
Me trying to mentally force the Teams meeting to end because my morning coffee is making me have to poo real bad
a man is holding his head with his eyes closed and the words focus focus focus behind him .
ALT: a man is holding his head with his eyes closed and the words focus focus focus behind him .
media.tenor.com
May 29, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Me trying to mentally force the Teams meeting to end because my morning coffee is making me have to poo real bad
Reposted
Frankenstein’s monster hog
May 22, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Frankenstein’s monster hog
Ugh, I need to put more effort into this place. I miss the fun and funny people I used to meet in the bad place
May 22, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Ugh, I need to put more effort into this place. I miss the fun and funny people I used to meet in the bad place
I want to give TED talks to young people explaining how much it sucks to actually be in charge
May 22, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I want to give TED talks to young people explaining how much it sucks to actually be in charge
Give her* what she really wants this Mother’s Day: A pretty nifty wienering
*NOT your mom
*NOT your mom
May 11, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Give her* what she really wants this Mother’s Day: A pretty nifty wienering
*NOT your mom
*NOT your mom
Guess who did laundry and is thus no longer free balling out of necessity? Not me, but I’m sure someone did and I’m proud of them!
May 11, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Guess who did laundry and is thus no longer free balling out of necessity? Not me, but I’m sure someone did and I’m proud of them!
I would like to once again clarify that my canned pasta enthusiast group, the “Proud Boyardees,” is in no way associated with the hate group of a similar name. We apologize for any confusion!
May 11, 2025 at 7:25 PM
I would like to once again clarify that my canned pasta enthusiast group, the “Proud Boyardees,” is in no way associated with the hate group of a similar name. We apologize for any confusion!
Fred: Thanks to Scooby and the gang, we caught him dressing up like a ghost and scaring people near his house
Cop: Weird, but not illegal
Old Man Withers: The missus and I like to spice up our sex life by incorporating supernatural role play
Cop: Please stop involving me
Cop: Weird, but not illegal
Old Man Withers: The missus and I like to spice up our sex life by incorporating supernatural role play
Cop: Please stop involving me
May 11, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Fred: Thanks to Scooby and the gang, we caught him dressing up like a ghost and scaring people near his house
Cop: Weird, but not illegal
Old Man Withers: The missus and I like to spice up our sex life by incorporating supernatural role play
Cop: Please stop involving me
Cop: Weird, but not illegal
Old Man Withers: The missus and I like to spice up our sex life by incorporating supernatural role play
Cop: Please stop involving me
Reposted
Imagine sex with me
Wrong
More hotdogs
Wrong
More hotdogs
Imagine sex with me.
Wrong.
Two more slinkies.
Wrong.
Two more slinkies.
Imagine sex with me.
Wrong
More incantations.
Wrong
More incantations.
April 30, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Imagine sex with me
Wrong
More hotdogs
Wrong
More hotdogs
I possibly made a faux pas that people I barely know might have picked up on. Better lay awake thinking about it for the rest of my life
April 27, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I possibly made a faux pas that people I barely know might have picked up on. Better lay awake thinking about it for the rest of my life
Reposted
Are we really doing jorts?
April 23, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Are we really doing jorts?
Oh so Jesus disappears with 12 dudes for a few days, hangs out with prostitutes, briefly dies and everyone thinks is a miracle? But I do it and now I can’t go to anymore bachelor parties? Double standard much?!!
April 20, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Oh so Jesus disappears with 12 dudes for a few days, hangs out with prostitutes, briefly dies and everyone thinks is a miracle? But I do it and now I can’t go to anymore bachelor parties? Double standard much?!!
Probably not proper Easter talk, but like 100% of dildos are circumcised.
April 20, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Probably not proper Easter talk, but like 100% of dildos are circumcised.
Today is a big day for ham and ham related activities
April 20, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Today is a big day for ham and ham related activities
Golden titted sap sucker? Why are people that name birds so hornt?
April 18, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Golden titted sap sucker? Why are people that name birds so hornt?
Reposted
One time, Google Maps sent me and my little nephew to a Dr. Frankenstein themed gay bar called Build-A-Bear
April 4, 2025 at 4:04 AM
One time, Google Maps sent me and my little nephew to a Dr. Frankenstein themed gay bar called Build-A-Bear
Reposted
Trump reacts to The Atlantic leak.
March 26, 2025 at 9:10 AM
Trump reacts to The Atlantic leak.