Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
@beardium.bsky.social
Fuck MAGA
Him/Beard
My YouTubes
https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ
https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl
My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com
Him/Beard
My YouTubes
https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ
https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl
My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com
Pinned
Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning
That's what I do. I drink. I don't know anything. I fuck shit up.
January 11, 2026 at 4:25 AM
That's what I do. I drink. I don't know anything. I fuck shit up.
We survived Coke II, and we'll survive this.
January 11, 2026 at 4:13 AM
We survived Coke II, and we'll survive this.
Communing with a creature from the abyss
January 11, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Communing with a creature from the abyss
I thought I was fucking this rum up, but it's really fucking me up.
January 11, 2026 at 3:09 AM
I thought I was fucking this rum up, but it's really fucking me up.
If you play the "Where In The World Is Carman San Diego?" theme song backward, you can distinctly hear Rockapella sing, "FUCK ICE, FUCK ICE!"
January 11, 2026 at 3:06 AM
If you play the "Where In The World Is Carman San Diego?" theme song backward, you can distinctly hear Rockapella sing, "FUCK ICE, FUCK ICE!"
If Elon Musk was the villain in a buddy cop movie, and I was the cop three days from retirement; I would say "Solve for X, motherfucker." before I blew his head off with a sawed-off shotgun.
January 11, 2026 at 2:53 AM
If Elon Musk was the villain in a buddy cop movie, and I was the cop three days from retirement; I would say "Solve for X, motherfucker." before I blew his head off with a sawed-off shotgun.
Being fitted for wooden clogs tomorrow
January 11, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Being fitted for wooden clogs tomorrow
Flirting with annihilation
January 11, 2026 at 1:31 AM
Flirting with annihilation
Becoming an agent of chaos
January 11, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Becoming an agent of chaos
Becoming a warlock
January 11, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Becoming a warlock
Everybody in the mall stopped and stared as I waddled past the food court with my dump truck ass
January 11, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Everybody in the mall stopped and stared as I waddled past the food court with my dump truck ass
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Yeah, like any of us are "popular with friends."
March 16, 2024 at 1:46 PM
Yeah, like any of us are "popular with friends."
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Becoming the man of the hour
January 11, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Becoming the man of the hour
I hate the word brunch. What, did you have a branch for lunch? Did you eat it like a greedy little beaver? Shut up with that nonsense
January 11, 2026 at 12:12 AM
I hate the word brunch. What, did you have a branch for lunch? Did you eat it like a greedy little beaver? Shut up with that nonsense
Chanting ancient incantations to open various portals and interdimensonal doorways
January 10, 2026 at 6:03 PM
Chanting ancient incantations to open various portals and interdimensonal doorways
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
The officer “feared for his life."
Is so funny to me, because as a woman, if I shot a man in the face every time I've felt afraid, the streets would be lined with bodies.
Is so funny to me, because as a woman, if I shot a man in the face every time I've felt afraid, the streets would be lined with bodies.
January 10, 2026 at 5:54 PM
The officer “feared for his life."
Is so funny to me, because as a woman, if I shot a man in the face every time I've felt afraid, the streets would be lined with bodies.
Is so funny to me, because as a woman, if I shot a man in the face every time I've felt afraid, the streets would be lined with bodies.
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
GO! Get out of your head a bit. Breathe. Turn that music Up! No sad, no anger.
January 10, 2026 at 5:59 PM
GO! Get out of your head a bit. Breathe. Turn that music Up! No sad, no anger.
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Stapling my friend’s hat to his head so I don’t get confused when I see him later
January 10, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Stapling my friend’s hat to his head so I don’t get confused when I see him later
Remote viewing various shapes and images
January 10, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Remote viewing various shapes and images
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
I am proof that not having any screen time as a child does not help anything
December 29, 2025 at 2:33 AM
I am proof that not having any screen time as a child does not help anything
Observing dark rituals
January 10, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Observing dark rituals
Becoming a high priest in the occult
January 10, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Becoming a high priest in the occult
Being more adorable than usual today
January 10, 2026 at 5:29 PM
Being more adorable than usual today