Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
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beardium.bsky.social
Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
@beardium.bsky.social
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Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning
That's what I do. I drink. I don't know anything. I fuck shit up.
January 11, 2026 at 4:25 AM
We survived Coke II, and we'll survive this.
January 11, 2026 at 4:13 AM
Communing with a creature from the abyss
January 11, 2026 at 3:32 AM
I thought I was fucking this rum up, but it's really fucking me up.
January 11, 2026 at 3:09 AM
If you play the "Where In The World Is Carman San Diego?" theme song backward, you can distinctly hear Rockapella sing, "FUCK ICE, FUCK ICE!"
January 11, 2026 at 3:06 AM
If Elon Musk was the villain in a buddy cop movie, and I was the cop three days from retirement; I would say "Solve for X, motherfucker." before I blew his head off with a sawed-off shotgun.
January 11, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Being fitted for wooden clogs tomorrow
January 11, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Flirting with annihilation
January 11, 2026 at 1:31 AM
Becoming an agent of chaos
January 11, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Becoming a warlock
January 11, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Everybody in the mall stopped and stared as I waddled past the food court with my dump truck ass
January 11, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Yeah, like any of us are "popular with friends."
March 16, 2024 at 1:46 PM
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
January 10, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Becoming the man of the hour
January 11, 2026 at 12:38 AM
I hate the word brunch. What, did you have a branch for lunch? Did you eat it like a greedy little beaver? Shut up with that nonsense
January 11, 2026 at 12:12 AM
Chanting ancient incantations to open various portals and interdimensonal doorways
January 10, 2026 at 6:03 PM
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
The officer “feared for his life."

Is so funny to me, because as a woman, if I shot a man in the face every time I've felt afraid, the streets would be lined with bodies.
January 10, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
GO! Get out of your head a bit. Breathe. Turn that music Up! No sad, no anger.
January 10, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Stapling my friend’s hat to his head so I don’t get confused when I see him later
January 10, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Remote viewing various shapes and images
January 10, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
I am proof that not having any screen time as a child does not help anything
December 29, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Observing dark rituals
January 10, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Becoming a high priest in the occult
January 10, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Being more adorable than usual today
January 10, 2026 at 5:29 PM