slice
@noahgrim.bsky.social
Writer of stuff.
Website: noahgrim.com
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaatdk2bj2ce
avi by geraldinepiche.bsky.social
Website: noahgrim.com
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaatdk2bj2ce
avi by geraldinepiche.bsky.social
Pinned
MAKE YOUR OWN NINJA TURTLE
You've probably heard of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but how much do you know about the REAL story? DISCOVER THE DARK TRUTH INSIDE!
noahgrim.com
“When I was your age all I wanted in life was to be a ninja turtle. It was the only thing that made sense to a young man with severe emotional problems, and it still is.”
noahgrim.com/make-your-ow...
noahgrim.com/make-your-ow...
“When I was your age all I wanted in life was to be a ninja turtle. It was the only thing that made sense to a young man with severe emotional problems, and it still is.”
noahgrim.com/make-your-ow...
noahgrim.com/make-your-ow...
MAKE YOUR OWN NINJA TURTLE
You've probably heard of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but how much do you know about the REAL story? DISCOVER THE DARK TRUTH INSIDE!
noahgrim.com
February 7, 2026 at 2:44 PM
“When I was your age all I wanted in life was to be a ninja turtle. It was the only thing that made sense to a young man with severe emotional problems, and it still is.”
noahgrim.com/make-your-ow...
noahgrim.com/make-your-ow...
“Is this AI?” I ask, looking at my newborn son
February 7, 2026 at 1:12 PM
“Is this AI?” I ask, looking at my newborn son
Reposted by slice
AAAAAAND DONE!!!
February 6, 2026 at 9:30 PM
AAAAAAND DONE!!!
Writing a story about the coolest dinosaur EVER
February 6, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Writing a story about the coolest dinosaur EVER
“Oh boy, new memes!” I exclaim, checking out the latest memes
February 5, 2026 at 6:26 PM
“Oh boy, new memes!” I exclaim, checking out the latest memes
Got my teeth checked out at the dentist today. One of them has a cavity and two of them are gay
February 5, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Got my teeth checked out at the dentist today. One of them has a cavity and two of them are gay
Ah, crap! More followers!
February 5, 2026 at 3:37 AM
Ah, crap! More followers!
Reposted by slice
Been calling our buddy Dave “Wiener Dave” ever since we found out he has a wiener
February 3, 2026 at 2:50 PM
Been calling our buddy Dave “Wiener Dave” ever since we found out he has a wiener
When I was a kid we had a little thing called turtle power
February 1, 2026 at 11:25 PM
When I was a kid we had a little thing called turtle power
Don’t know who needs to hear this but do your kegels, bro
February 1, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Don’t know who needs to hear this but do your kegels, bro
Reposted by slice
The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll
January 30, 2026 at 11:21 PM
The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll
Reposted by slice
Went to get acupuncture for a pain in my neck. She put a needle in my ass.
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
January 14, 2026 at 5:52 PM
Went to get acupuncture for a pain in my neck. She put a needle in my ass.
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
Reposted by slice
What this vague apology is about is sexually harassing me telling me that he wants to fly over to me and fuck me until we both cant stand. And, of course, nothing says "im sorry" like blocking only the accounts of the person you harassed. But tell me again how you "learned so much", Mike.
January 30, 2026 at 10:46 PM
What this vague apology is about is sexually harassing me telling me that he wants to fly over to me and fuck me until we both cant stand. And, of course, nothing says "im sorry" like blocking only the accounts of the person you harassed. But tell me again how you "learned so much", Mike.
Oh, you have the same name as me? I GUESS THAT MAKES US NAME BUDDIES
January 29, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Oh, you have the same name as me? I GUESS THAT MAKES US NAME BUDDIES
I’m starting this new theory it’s called everybody is nine actually
January 29, 2026 at 5:47 PM
I’m starting this new theory it’s called everybody is nine actually
Reposted by slice
"90's kids remember-"
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
January 29, 2026 at 5:38 PM
"90's kids remember-"
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
Reposted by slice
Me, listening to Beethoven: "when you think about it, its pretty impressive that a dog wrote that"
January 29, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Me, listening to Beethoven: "when you think about it, its pretty impressive that a dog wrote that"
Reposted by slice
showing up naked and uncirc’ed at the bris and joking to the baby “well ONE OF US has to change”
January 29, 2026 at 2:51 PM
showing up naked and uncirc’ed at the bris and joking to the baby “well ONE OF US has to change”
Reposted by slice
Gonna start measuring my peen in centimeters instead of inches to make myself feel better.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
January 28, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Gonna start measuring my peen in centimeters instead of inches to make myself feel better.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
Duo ‘bout to suck this D
January 28, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Duo ‘bout to suck this D
Reposted by slice
finally learned the number 100 today
January 28, 2026 at 1:42 PM
finally learned the number 100 today
Just joined the mile pie club (ate a whole blueberry pie sitting on an airplane toilet)
January 28, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Just joined the mile pie club (ate a whole blueberry pie sitting on an airplane toilet)