and notice all of those trips were during turnip's first term.
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
and notice all of those trips were during turnip's first term.
Fortunately, he has access to Turnip's Magic Ear Gel . . and that ol' stab wound just healed itself in a couple hours . . .
January 18, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Fortunately, he has access to Turnip's Magic Ear Gel . . and that ol' stab wound just healed itself in a couple hours . . .
The entire concept of NATO is, quite evidently, beyond this rotted turnip’s grasp.
January 17, 2026 at 3:59 AM
The entire concept of NATO is, quite evidently, beyond this rotted turnip’s grasp.
I think Minnesota should hold a vote to secede from the US, and join Canada. That would definitely twist the turnip's top. lol
January 16, 2026 at 10:06 PM
I think Minnesota should hold a vote to secede from the US, and join Canada. That would definitely twist the turnip's top. lol
Funny, that! Why do you suppose they picked 5 years? Ah yes - turnip's last term in office plus one year. Nothing will matter anymore.
That's why all the fire and brimstone of the moment - "we will change and destroy everything in 4 years - you will no longer recognize your country - IN 4 YEARS!!"
That's why all the fire and brimstone of the moment - "we will change and destroy everything in 4 years - you will no longer recognize your country - IN 4 YEARS!!"
I just found out last night that the $50k enrollment bonus only pays out after 5 years of service, and reader, the laugh I let out when I read that woke the dog from across the house. These absolute fucking grapes aren't seeing a dime of that money. No way they can ride out 5 years of this job.
ICE recruitment is going well.
January 15, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Funny, that! Why do you suppose they picked 5 years? Ah yes - turnip's last term in office plus one year. Nothing will matter anymore.
That's why all the fire and brimstone of the moment - "we will change and destroy everything in 4 years - you will no longer recognize your country - IN 4 YEARS!!"
That's why all the fire and brimstone of the moment - "we will change and destroy everything in 4 years - you will no longer recognize your country - IN 4 YEARS!!"
bangs head on wall. why do I have to be alive during ugly ass turnip's reign of nonsense? if there is a god, I need him to do his fucking job already
January 15, 2026 at 7:40 AM
bangs head on wall. why do I have to be alive during ugly ass turnip's reign of nonsense? if there is a god, I need him to do his fucking job already
It’s the turnip’s lizard brain need to establish dominance in the most base way possible~ a chest-puffing-chickenhawk-strut-pissing contest stutter-stream-thru-lemon-sized-prostrate-impaired sputter of feigned masculinity from an 80 yo lifelong coward…
And anyone caught in his stream can just F-off
And anyone caught in his stream can just F-off
a blurry picture of donald trump speaking into a microphone .
ALT: a blurry picture of donald trump speaking into a microphone .
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2026 at 5:43 PM
It’s the turnip’s lizard brain need to establish dominance in the most base way possible~ a chest-puffing-chickenhawk-strut-pissing contest stutter-stream-thru-lemon-sized-prostrate-impaired sputter of feigned masculinity from an 80 yo lifelong coward…
And anyone caught in his stream can just F-off
And anyone caught in his stream can just F-off
Another pearl in the string of Turnip's many "wins"...
January 13, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Another pearl in the string of Turnip's many "wins"...
ICE = Turnip's Revolutionary Guard Corps!!
"'Can I check a pulse?' yelled the bystander, standing across Portland Avenue from Good’s lifeless body inside her crashed SUV, video footage of the exchange shows.
"'No,' an agent replies. 'Back up.'
"'I’m a physician!'
"'I don’t care.'"
apple.news/Ab6SscT80QIW...
"'No,' an agent replies. 'Back up.'
"'I’m a physician!'
"'I don’t care.'"
apple.news/Ab6SscT80QIW...
‘I’m a physician,’ he said. ‘Don’t care’ was the reply. — The Minnesota Star Tribune
Bystander medical assistance was declined to George Floyd and Renee Good. Medical experts say ICE agents and a physician observer likely acting within their training after recent shooting.
apple.news
January 13, 2026 at 9:49 AM
ICE = Turnip's Revolutionary Guard Corps!!
They are turnip's private army - practising to "manage" the midterms in November. Germany and brownshirts, c. 1933 anyone?
January 12, 2026 at 9:31 PM
They are turnip's private army - practising to "manage" the midterms in November. Germany and brownshirts, c. 1933 anyone?
Dollar and markets hurt by Turnip's latest sparring with Powell & the Fed.
He wants cheaper financing for his land barons buds no matter how much it hurts you.
He wants cheaper financing for his land barons buds no matter how much it hurts you.
Trump team escalates attack on Fed's Powell with criminal indictment threat
The Trump administration has ramped up its pressure campaign on the U.S. central bank, threatening to indict Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell over comments he made to Congress about a building reno...
www.reuters.com
January 12, 2026 at 3:51 PM
Dollar and markets hurt by Turnip's latest sparring with Powell & the Fed.
He wants cheaper financing for his land barons buds no matter how much it hurts you.
He wants cheaper financing for his land barons buds no matter how much it hurts you.
Probably nothing. Two weeks is the go-to timeframe for Turnip’s projects.
January 11, 2026 at 5:48 AM
Probably nothing. Two weeks is the go-to timeframe for Turnip’s projects.
They are turnip's private army - practising to "manage" the midterms in November. Germany and brownshirts, c. 1933 anyone?
ICE is not law enforcement. It's an authoritarian gang. They target suburbs, school zones and quiet neighborhoods for the easy targets and avoid actual crime zones or known criminals in order to avoid putting themselves at risk.
January 11, 2026 at 5:28 AM
They are turnip's private army - practising to "manage" the midterms in November. Germany and brownshirts, c. 1933 anyone?
tomorrow is Turnip's birthday he turns 3
January 10, 2026 at 8:42 PM
tomorrow is Turnip's birthday he turns 3
Fox Noise generates the “public outcry” and the “there are reports…” excuses for the turnip’s goons to launch crackdowns & “investigations” into Trump’s enemies…
Even if it takes months of rhetorical fallacy & platforming outright liars to do it~ they stay relentlessly on message.
No ethics.
Even if it takes months of rhetorical fallacy & platforming outright liars to do it~ they stay relentlessly on message.
No ethics.
January 10, 2026 at 1:32 PM
Fox Noise generates the “public outcry” and the “there are reports…” excuses for the turnip’s goons to launch crackdowns & “investigations” into Trump’s enemies…
Even if it takes months of rhetorical fallacy & platforming outright liars to do it~ they stay relentlessly on message.
No ethics.
Even if it takes months of rhetorical fallacy & platforming outright liars to do it~ they stay relentlessly on message.
No ethics.
Just you fucking wait. They are going to get like a honey badger backed into a corner before the midterms. I said Turnip's first run was a test case for fascism, now we are in the full blown, a mother in a car is a terrorist, green is red authoritarian state.
January 10, 2026 at 1:09 AM
Just you fucking wait. They are going to get like a honey badger backed into a corner before the midterms. I said Turnip's first run was a test case for fascism, now we are in the full blown, a mother in a car is a terrorist, green is red authoritarian state.
Not just Turnip's hand. The hands of the entire MAGOP Congress. The hands of every toady, every criminal, every complicit SOB associated with this administration. The hands of every voter that voted for the monstrosity.
January 9, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Not just Turnip's hand. The hands of the entire MAGOP Congress. The hands of every toady, every criminal, every complicit SOB associated with this administration. The hands of every voter that voted for the monstrosity.
"The NYT, on hands and knees under Turnip's desk."
-- CLUE BENEATH THE SHEETS, the hilarious new game of Professional Journalism™
-- CLUE BENEATH THE SHEETS, the hilarious new game of Professional Journalism™
January 9, 2026 at 5:46 PM
"The NYT, on hands and knees under Turnip's desk."
-- CLUE BENEATH THE SHEETS, the hilarious new game of Professional Journalism™
-- CLUE BENEATH THE SHEETS, the hilarious new game of Professional Journalism™
Is the FBI real, or is it Turnip’s tool?
January 8, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Is the FBI real, or is it Turnip’s tool?
They aren’t ICE agents. They’re Turnip’s goons masquerading as ICE agents.
January 8, 2026 at 4:48 PM
They aren’t ICE agents. They’re Turnip’s goons masquerading as ICE agents.
What became of the outrage at Turnip's free Jumbo, and the one (1) billion US tax dollars he's spaffing on its whorification?
Good ol' United States of Amnesia
Good ol' United States of Amnesia
January 8, 2026 at 3:57 PM
What became of the outrage at Turnip's free Jumbo, and the one (1) billion US tax dollars he's spaffing on its whorification?
Good ol' United States of Amnesia
Good ol' United States of Amnesia
"God damn them all, I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Venezuelan oil
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Palm Beach pier
The last of Turnip's privateers."
--A modern folk song, probably.
We'd cruise the seas for Venezuelan oil
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Palm Beach pier
The last of Turnip's privateers."
--A modern folk song, probably.
January 8, 2026 at 12:17 AM
"God damn them all, I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Venezuelan oil
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Palm Beach pier
The last of Turnip's privateers."
--A modern folk song, probably.
We'd cruise the seas for Venezuelan oil
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Palm Beach pier
The last of Turnip's privateers."
--A modern folk song, probably.
I was a year ago.
News media ... owned by interests who are currently uninclined to undermine Turnip's batguano narrative.
And hollowed out, "replaced" with AI.
Not making me happy.
News media ... owned by interests who are currently uninclined to undermine Turnip's batguano narrative.
And hollowed out, "replaced" with AI.
Not making me happy.
January 7, 2026 at 4:58 PM
I was a year ago.
News media ... owned by interests who are currently uninclined to undermine Turnip's batguano narrative.
And hollowed out, "replaced" with AI.
Not making me happy.
News media ... owned by interests who are currently uninclined to undermine Turnip's batguano narrative.
And hollowed out, "replaced" with AI.
Not making me happy.
The January 6 insurrection was Turnip’s doing. We know it, he knows it. Karma will happen.
January 6, 2026 at 9:20 PM
The January 6 insurrection was Turnip’s doing. We know it, he knows it. Karma will happen.