Zack Noyce
@znoyce.bsky.social
Bad jokes. Bad opinions. Bad account.
All of baseball discourse right now:
I am very bothered by the Dodgers stockpiling superstar players like Kyle Tucker (who is, actually, not very good).
I am very bothered by the Dodgers stockpiling superstar players like Kyle Tucker (who is, actually, not very good).
January 18, 2026 at 5:42 AM
All of baseball discourse right now:
I am very bothered by the Dodgers stockpiling superstar players like Kyle Tucker (who is, actually, not very good).
I am very bothered by the Dodgers stockpiling superstar players like Kyle Tucker (who is, actually, not very good).
Utah Legislature's appeal is basically going to be: The judge shouldn't be allowed to do this because the only reason we didn't comply with court orders is because we didn't like them.
www.sltrib.com/news/politic...
www.sltrib.com/news/politic...
‘Every seat counts’: Democrats cheer gerrymandering ruling, as Republicans eye appeal
While Democrats praise a Utah judge's ruling in a yearslong gerrymandering lawsuit, Republicans say the ruling reflects “the arrogance of a judge playing king from the bench.”
www.sltrib.com
November 12, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Utah Legislature's appeal is basically going to be: The judge shouldn't be allowed to do this because the only reason we didn't comply with court orders is because we didn't like them.
www.sltrib.com/news/politic...
www.sltrib.com/news/politic...
"I ask those who are watching this case unfold to retain faith in our judicial system just a little longer" notwithstanding years of public judicial records proving beyond any shadow of a doubt that such faith is unjustified and foolish.
Divided Ninth Circuit panel stays injunction against President Trump’s federalization of National Guard troops in Portland:
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Judge Graber, who is no firebrand, wrote quite a dissent—encouraging en banc review and some patience on the part of the public:
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Judge Graber, who is no firebrand, wrote quite a dissent—encouraging en banc review and some patience on the part of the public:
October 20, 2025 at 8:40 PM
"I ask those who are watching this case unfold to retain faith in our judicial system just a little longer" notwithstanding years of public judicial records proving beyond any shadow of a doubt that such faith is unjustified and foolish.
Today I am announcing that I have re-opened the compose page to write a joke about James Comey's pending indictment.
September 24, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Today I am announcing that I have re-opened the compose page to write a joke about James Comey's pending indictment.
Reposted by Zack Noyce
there's a reality where manfred accepts that bending over backwards for trump on pete rose got him absolutely no credit and just enabled trump to lean on him more heavily but it's almost certainly not the reality we live in
Donald Trump is now demanding that Roger Clemens be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame
August 24, 2025 at 6:26 PM
there's a reality where manfred accepts that bending over backwards for trump on pete rose got him absolutely no credit and just enabled trump to lean on him more heavily but it's almost certainly not the reality we live in
Reposted by Zack Noyce
It’s like that old Mitch Hedberg
joke: “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
joke: “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
Vance: I empathize with Americans who are exhausted after 25 years of foreign entanglements in the Middle East. I understand the concern, but the difference is that back then we had dumb presidents
June 22, 2025 at 4:56 PM
It’s like that old Mitch Hedberg
joke: “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
joke: “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
“Most people only have three friends. But at Meta, we believe we can push that number even lower.”
Mark Zuckerberg says Meta's chatbots will supplement your real friends: "The average American has fewer than 3 friends ... but has demand for ... 15 friends" (h/t x.com/romanhelmetg...)
May 1, 2025 at 3:21 PM
“Most people only have three friends. But at Meta, we believe we can push that number even lower.”
Between this and the rollback of regulations on milk...
I did not have the Trump administration being the thing that finally pushes me to go vegan on my Bingo card.
I did not have the Trump administration being the thing that finally pushes me to go vegan on my Bingo card.
"The Agriculture Department will not require poultry companies to limit salmonella bacteria in their products, halting a Biden Administration effort to prevent food poisoning from contaminated meat."
www.seattletimes.com/business/usd...
www.seattletimes.com/business/usd...
USDA withdraws a plan to limit salmonella levels in raw poultry
The Agriculture Department says it is withdrawing a plan to limit salmonella bacteria in poultry products.
www.seattletimes.com
April 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Between this and the rollback of regulations on milk...
I did not have the Trump administration being the thing that finally pushes me to go vegan on my Bingo card.
I did not have the Trump administration being the thing that finally pushes me to go vegan on my Bingo card.
Happy Jackie Robinson Day. Today we memorialize the most recent instance of Major League Baseball coming close to taking a stand for what is right.
April 15, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Happy Jackie Robinson Day. Today we memorialize the most recent instance of Major League Baseball coming close to taking a stand for what is right.
Cory Booker has been speaking so long that it feels almost half as long as Trump speech.
April 1, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Cory Booker has been speaking so long that it feels almost half as long as Trump speech.
I will believe a SpaceX flight is going to succeed when Elon Musk is on it and never before then.
March 16, 2025 at 10:29 PM
I will believe a SpaceX flight is going to succeed when Elon Musk is on it and never before then.
Fortunately, no significant conflict has ever come about as a result of Poland’s allies abandoning or undermining them.
Sikorski is the Foreign Minister of Poland, for those who don’t know.
March 9, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Fortunately, no significant conflict has ever come about as a result of Poland’s allies abandoning or undermining them.
Derek Brown putting on the official Utah AG uniform already.
February 5, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Derek Brown putting on the official Utah AG uniform already.
GOP currently debating which kids are “sponge-worthy” is terrifyingly in character.
Excited for the GOP to propose child labor requirements for school breakfast
check out that chyron. this is where we're at.
January 28, 2025 at 11:44 PM
GOP currently debating which kids are “sponge-worthy” is terrifyingly in character.
At this point, surely it's been long enough since Alpha-Bits were around for Lucky Charms just to yoink that idea and shape the cereal bits like letters, right?
January 28, 2025 at 4:32 AM
At this point, surely it's been long enough since Alpha-Bits were around for Lucky Charms just to yoink that idea and shape the cereal bits like letters, right?
Remember what absolutely pathetic and gullible morons we all were when we thought tech companies had good politics and would be anything other than the primary villains of the 21st Century?
January 28, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Remember what absolutely pathetic and gullible morons we all were when we thought tech companies had good politics and would be anything other than the primary villains of the 21st Century?
In fairness, I believe this would be a great and appropriate sentence for someone convicted of committing certain business record falsification felonies to conceal election law violations.
Trump says he wants to fly American criminals to other countries who will incarcerate them for "a small fee"
January 28, 2025 at 3:37 AM
In fairness, I believe this would be a great and appropriate sentence for someone convicted of committing certain business record falsification felonies to conceal election law violations.
I discovered Yglesias when I read his book “The Rent is Too Damn High” (which was a pretty good pro-density case for YIMBY housing policy) before I was even on Twitter.
What a letdown he’s been on social media. Some people REALLY need an editor.
What a letdown he’s been on social media. Some people REALLY need an editor.
I guess I'm too woke because I find the proliferation of this really off-putting and gross. The fact that it's now reached the "enlightened centrists" class is depressing.
January 28, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I discovered Yglesias when I read his book “The Rent is Too Damn High” (which was a pretty good pro-density case for YIMBY housing policy) before I was even on Twitter.
What a letdown he’s been on social media. Some people REALLY need an editor.
What a letdown he’s been on social media. Some people REALLY need an editor.
Did not have “LLMs attempt to unionize” on my 2025 bingo card, but I’ll take it.
BREAKING | ChatGPT down: AI chat app not working as website goes offline
ChatGPT is refusing to work
ChatGPT is offline, leaving users unable to talk to the AI chat app.
www.independent.co.uk
January 23, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Did not have “LLMs attempt to unionize” on my 2025 bingo card, but I’ll take it.
I don’t think Denmark has the firepower to defeat the United States in an all-out military conflict.
But I bet they could take out Mar-a-Lago and that feels like enough.
But I bet they could take out Mar-a-Lago and that feels like enough.
January 9, 2025 at 2:23 PM
I don’t think Denmark has the firepower to defeat the United States in an all-out military conflict.
But I bet they could take out Mar-a-Lago and that feels like enough.
But I bet they could take out Mar-a-Lago and that feels like enough.
I realize that this is, ultimately, small potatoes in our AI hellscape of a world:
I *HATE* this new trend where news outlets keep presenting AI-altered or photoshopped versions of player wearing a team jersey they've never worn. Seeing it in all the Juan Soto posts and yuck.
I *HATE* this new trend where news outlets keep presenting AI-altered or photoshopped versions of player wearing a team jersey they've never worn. Seeing it in all the Juan Soto posts and yuck.
December 9, 2024 at 1:34 PM
I realize that this is, ultimately, small potatoes in our AI hellscape of a world:
I *HATE* this new trend where news outlets keep presenting AI-altered or photoshopped versions of player wearing a team jersey they've never worn. Seeing it in all the Juan Soto posts and yuck.
I *HATE* this new trend where news outlets keep presenting AI-altered or photoshopped versions of player wearing a team jersey they've never worn. Seeing it in all the Juan Soto posts and yuck.
The way you can know corporations aren’t people is the CEO can get murdered, but no force on heaven or earth can immediately remove this company from the earth.
December 5, 2024 at 12:17 AM
The way you can know corporations aren’t people is the CEO can get murdered, but no force on heaven or earth can immediately remove this company from the earth.
Internet in 2004: Here’s a bunch of useful stuff.
Internet in 2014: We have buried all the useful stuff under people trying to sell you stuff.
Internet in 2024: Here’s a plagiarism machine’s summary of all the stuff people are trying to sell you. That will be $50/month, please.
Internet in 2014: We have buried all the useful stuff under people trying to sell you stuff.
Internet in 2024: Here’s a plagiarism machine’s summary of all the stuff people are trying to sell you. That will be $50/month, please.
December 4, 2024 at 2:21 AM
Internet in 2004: Here’s a bunch of useful stuff.
Internet in 2014: We have buried all the useful stuff under people trying to sell you stuff.
Internet in 2024: Here’s a plagiarism machine’s summary of all the stuff people are trying to sell you. That will be $50/month, please.
Internet in 2014: We have buried all the useful stuff under people trying to sell you stuff.
Internet in 2024: Here’s a plagiarism machine’s summary of all the stuff people are trying to sell you. That will be $50/month, please.
Reposted by Zack Noyce
i agree with much of this thread, but if a lack of empathy was what swung voters i think the party that made lacking empathy their central political tenet might have lost
There is truth, of course, to the fact that people get the policy regime of the president they voted for. But that’s not the same as voting for the policy package itself.
Feel like I’ve seen a lot of derisiveness about swing voters in particular, and lack of empathy is part of reason why they swung
Feel like I’ve seen a lot of derisiveness about swing voters in particular, and lack of empathy is part of reason why they swung
November 26, 2024 at 8:58 PM
i agree with much of this thread, but if a lack of empathy was what swung voters i think the party that made lacking empathy their central political tenet might have lost
I’m not saying every Utah driver with the American flag “In God we Trust” license plate is a bad driver. But all the worst drivers in the state have that plate.
November 26, 2024 at 11:52 PM
I’m not saying every Utah driver with the American flag “In God we Trust” license plate is a bad driver. But all the worst drivers in the state have that plate.