Pinned
Vince E
@vinceegan.bsky.social
· Nov 18
I roll my own candy cigarettes made from Rolaids.
When the family hands me their Christmas wish lists.
December 13, 2024 at 1:11 AM
When the family hands me their Christmas wish lists.
When my work laptop times out, a picture of the perfect employee is displayed. That employee is not me.
December 2, 2024 at 9:37 PM
When my work laptop times out, a picture of the perfect employee is displayed. That employee is not me.
When I stay overnight at Mom’s senior living facility.
December 1, 2024 at 5:44 PM
When I stay overnight at Mom’s senior living facility.
Reposted by Vince E
[dinner party]
GUEST: it has come to my attention that one of us is a secret time traveller.
ME: *tasting wine the waiter brought to the table* mmm, what year is this?
[everyone slowly turns their head]
GUEST: it has come to my attention that one of us is a secret time traveller.
ME: *tasting wine the waiter brought to the table* mmm, what year is this?
[everyone slowly turns their head]
November 27, 2024 at 5:20 PM
[dinner party]
GUEST: it has come to my attention that one of us is a secret time traveller.
ME: *tasting wine the waiter brought to the table* mmm, what year is this?
[everyone slowly turns their head]
GUEST: it has come to my attention that one of us is a secret time traveller.
ME: *tasting wine the waiter brought to the table* mmm, what year is this?
[everyone slowly turns their head]
Bleak Friday: Eat 1 pound get the 2nd pound for free.
November 29, 2024 at 6:39 PM
Bleak Friday: Eat 1 pound get the 2nd pound for free.
The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate - Garrison Keillor
November 28, 2024 at 11:20 PM
The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate - Garrison Keillor
Check out my Thanksgiving reviews on Tryptophan Advisor.
November 28, 2024 at 5:12 PM
Check out my Thanksgiving reviews on Tryptophan Advisor.
Memories of Thanksgivings past when my wife was rummaging for the turkey baster only to find out that it was in the garage after I had used it to remove leftover gas from the snowblower.
November 28, 2024 at 5:10 PM
Memories of Thanksgivings past when my wife was rummaging for the turkey baster only to find out that it was in the garage after I had used it to remove leftover gas from the snowblower.
Reposted by Vince E
The crust in my eye might literally be Parmesan
November 27, 2024 at 6:49 AM
The crust in my eye might literally be Parmesan
Reposted by Vince E
I bet getting hit by a small to medium asteroid feels so good for the earth
November 26, 2024 at 7:55 PM
I bet getting hit by a small to medium asteroid feels so good for the earth
Remember when CBS would show Thanksgiving parades from New York, Philadelphia, Detroit, Toronto and Hawaii, and showed the floats, balloons and bands? Now it’s just excerpts of Broadway shows.
November 26, 2024 at 1:27 PM
Remember when CBS would show Thanksgiving parades from New York, Philadelphia, Detroit, Toronto and Hawaii, and showed the floats, balloons and bands? Now it’s just excerpts of Broadway shows.
Nice version!
NEVER SEEN anything like it! Is that a GUITAR? And her VOICE? MIND-BLOWING!
YouTube video by Leire
youtu.be
November 26, 2024 at 1:42 AM
Nice version!
Reposted by Vince E
If your teeth are over a thousand lumens, then maybe it's time to cool it with the brightening.
November 25, 2024 at 12:15 PM
If your teeth are over a thousand lumens, then maybe it's time to cool it with the brightening.
Dogs are Better than People Fact #83: A dog has never called my cell phone posing as the IRS and threatening my arrest.
November 25, 2024 at 5:36 PM
Dogs are Better than People Fact #83: A dog has never called my cell phone posing as the IRS and threatening my arrest.
Reposted by Vince E
In hell your dog dresses you up in goofy outfits.
November 23, 2024 at 2:46 PM
In hell your dog dresses you up in goofy outfits.
Reposted by Vince E
Please be quiet. I am defrosting a turkey.
November 22, 2024 at 12:49 PM
Please be quiet. I am defrosting a turkey.
Reposted by Vince E
airbud missing the game winning free throws and getting put down
November 22, 2024 at 12:06 PM
airbud missing the game winning free throws and getting put down
Reposted by Vince E
For just 50 cents a day you can throw a roll of pennies at Keith in accounting
November 21, 2024 at 12:55 AM
For just 50 cents a day you can throw a roll of pennies at Keith in accounting
Hey girl, are you Top Secret, cuz I’d like to redact your political thoughts.
November 22, 2024 at 5:26 PM
Hey girl, are you Top Secret, cuz I’d like to redact your political thoughts.
Preparing for the holidays by practicing my Draw Four face.
a man wearing a blue hat holds two uno cards in front of his face
ALT: a man wearing a blue hat holds two uno cards in front of his face
media.tenor.com
November 22, 2024 at 4:59 PM
Preparing for the holidays by practicing my Draw Four face.
Infamous gates:
Watergates
Nipplegates
Deflategates
Mattgaetz
Watergates
Nipplegates
Deflategates
Mattgaetz
November 22, 2024 at 1:40 AM
Infamous gates:
Watergates
Nipplegates
Deflategates
Mattgaetz
Watergates
Nipplegates
Deflategates
Mattgaetz
Reposted by Vince E
Cannibals complaining about microplastics in their food
November 21, 2024 at 1:36 PM
Cannibals complaining about microplastics in their food