Umlaut Schwa
@umlautschwa.bsky.social
Anonymous Minneapolis(ish) crank. Lefty loud music listener, sff reader, rpg player, Jared Keeso fanboy.
If the acronym WMYBSALB means anything to you, let's be mutuals and I'll share my old handle.
If the acronym WMYBSALB means anything to you, let's be mutuals and I'll share my old handle.
Six days before I leave my corporate job and I bust my mouse jiggler. Guess I better be careful, I might get written up, lol.
November 12, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Six days before I leave my corporate job and I bust my mouse jiggler. Guess I better be careful, I might get written up, lol.
So tonight I hung out with some college friends, one dude I've recently connected with and have been hanging out with maybe once a month for a few months, one I hadn't seen in 3-4 years, one like 20 years. We immediately dropped into mutual therapy. 1/2
October 5, 2025 at 5:28 AM
So tonight I hung out with some college friends, one dude I've recently connected with and have been hanging out with maybe once a month for a few months, one I hadn't seen in 3-4 years, one like 20 years. We immediately dropped into mutual therapy. 1/2
NGL, I have been a slug of depression since my older kid returned to college on Sunday, with the younger one having left two weeks ago. Feeling pretty rudderless, and my stupid brain keeps giving me the idea that talking to my mom would help, except she died a year and a half ago.
September 2, 2025 at 9:29 PM
NGL, I have been a slug of depression since my older kid returned to college on Sunday, with the younger one having left two weeks ago. Feeling pretty rudderless, and my stupid brain keeps giving me the idea that talking to my mom would help, except she died a year and a half ago.
Probably could be a series: things you text your kid when high late at night. (The first one was sober--i had left her at a concert and took longer than she expected. I don't think she loves that she has the type of dad that texts such things. In my defense, I wanted to be succinct.)
August 3, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Probably could be a series: things you text your kid when high late at night. (The first one was sober--i had left her at a concert and took longer than she expected. I don't think she loves that she has the type of dad that texts such things. In my defense, I wanted to be succinct.)
So sometimes you can weed women down on the apps for basic stuff like appearance (just reality) or politics or being a Packers fan, and other times you look up the person she mentions enthusiastically in her profile 1/
July 31, 2025 at 4:09 AM
So sometimes you can weed women down on the apps for basic stuff like appearance (just reality) or politics or being a Packers fan, and other times you look up the person she mentions enthusiastically in her profile 1/
Today was balls hot and muggy, and last night's storm blew a large dead limb off my front yard big silver maple. In the morning I had gotten the branches lying in the street and sidewalk, but after work I grabbed my ladder and cheapy electric chainsaw. 1/
July 29, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Today was balls hot and muggy, and last night's storm blew a large dead limb off my front yard big silver maple. In the morning I had gotten the branches lying in the street and sidewalk, but after work I grabbed my ladder and cheapy electric chainsaw. 1/
Reposted by Umlaut Schwa
Keep an eye out this weekend for outside agitators like the Proud Boys showing up at the No Kings Protests! They will try to incite violence and blame it on the left as they did during the George Floyd protests.
June 13, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Keep an eye out this weekend for outside agitators like the Proud Boys showing up at the No Kings Protests! They will try to incite violence and blame it on the left as they did during the George Floyd protests.
A large gathering where you are trying to spot people you haven't seen in a decade or three makes me notice how shitty my vision is. I always wear them to drive, and laptop distance is fine with no glasses, but 10' away to the horizon it's just shit without glasses. That I left in the car by habit.
June 6, 2025 at 8:06 PM
A large gathering where you are trying to spot people you haven't seen in a decade or three makes me notice how shitty my vision is. I always wear them to drive, and laptop distance is fine with no glasses, but 10' away to the horizon it's just shit without glasses. That I left in the car by habit.
At my college reunion, just hanging and hoping to see people. I took *one* not-big hit off my hash pen that I have smoked enough to have a sense of strength. Totally overshot the pleasantly relaxed mild high I was going for and wound up at "constantly aware of being high but functional." Damnit.
June 6, 2025 at 7:13 PM
At my college reunion, just hanging and hoping to see people. I took *one* not-big hit off my hash pen that I have smoked enough to have a sense of strength. Totally overshot the pleasantly relaxed mild high I was going for and wound up at "constantly aware of being high but functional." Damnit.
Reposted by Umlaut Schwa
how's it less depressing that they did it for money?
June 4, 2025 at 1:05 AM
how's it less depressing that they did it for money?
Just realized I've become the kind of person who gossip texts at 8 pm about personnel changes at key industry startups, speculating about who quit and who got fired. W T F .
I have never felt less punk rock.
I have never felt less punk rock.
June 3, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Just realized I've become the kind of person who gossip texts at 8 pm about personnel changes at key industry startups, speculating about who quit and who got fired. W T F .
I have never felt less punk rock.
I have never felt less punk rock.
I just called a rando in an Instagram reels a Good German. Not that he didn't deserve it, but man is that kind of shit pointless and ultimately it just leaves me angrier. Time to put down the Internet.
May 31, 2025 at 2:55 AM
I just called a rando in an Instagram reels a Good German. Not that he didn't deserve it, but man is that kind of shit pointless and ultimately it just leaves me angrier. Time to put down the Internet.
Having recently lost his companion, I'm down to one cat. I would like to note that one of the less talked about and kind of gross bonuses to having more than one cat is they eat other's puke a high percentage of the time. I'm cleaning up twice the puke with half the cats these days.
May 11, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Having recently lost his companion, I'm down to one cat. I would like to note that one of the less talked about and kind of gross bonuses to having more than one cat is they eat other's puke a high percentage of the time. I'm cleaning up twice the puke with half the cats these days.
I work in Marketing for a business unit of a very large healthcare IT company. Like every other credulous MBA idiot looking to cut costs, our leadership decided to fire all of our copywriters and insist the marketers use a specialized AI tool to write the copy for our brochures, websites, etc. 1/
There are a lot of critiques of LLMs that I agree with but "they suck and aren't useful" doesn't really hold water.
I understand people not using them because of social, economic, and environmental concerns. And I also understand people using them because they can be very useful.
Thoughts?
I understand people not using them because of social, economic, and environmental concerns. And I also understand people using them because they can be very useful.
Thoughts?
April 24, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I work in Marketing for a business unit of a very large healthcare IT company. Like every other credulous MBA idiot looking to cut costs, our leadership decided to fire all of our copywriters and insist the marketers use a specialized AI tool to write the copy for our brochures, websites, etc. 1/
Reposted by Umlaut Schwa
Facebook tells me that 10 years ago today was when my then-pending divorce became Facebook Official. It was a well-written, classy post w/ both unwarranted optimism and a heavy application of pig lipstick. It was the right decision and things are much better now, but shit was ROUGH for a few years.
April 9, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Facebook tells me that 10 years ago today was when my then-pending divorce became Facebook Official. It was a well-written, classy post w/ both unwarranted optimism and a heavy application of pig lipstick. It was the right decision and things are much better now, but shit was ROUGH for a few years.
I have been dipping my toes back into dating apps after an extended hiatus. Probably not going to actually date til Kid 2 leaves for college, but it's nice to see what's there.
My new gripe: a fondness for the Oxford comma should not be a personality trait, no matter how right you are (CMS FTW).
My new gripe: a fondness for the Oxford comma should not be a personality trait, no matter how right you are (CMS FTW).
April 3, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I have been dipping my toes back into dating apps after an extended hiatus. Probably not going to actually date til Kid 2 leaves for college, but it's nice to see what's there.
My new gripe: a fondness for the Oxford comma should not be a personality trait, no matter how right you are (CMS FTW).
My new gripe: a fondness for the Oxford comma should not be a personality trait, no matter how right you are (CMS FTW).
Ugh. As a professional writer, editor, and proofreader (usually emphasizing one or another in different jobs over my career), social media posts are a blind spot in my pause-and-reread-for-typos approach to writing. The Post button calls to me. It kills me every time I see an error too late to edit.
April 3, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Ugh. As a professional writer, editor, and proofreader (usually emphasizing one or another in different jobs over my career), social media posts are a blind spot in my pause-and-reread-for-typos approach to writing. The Post button calls to me. It kills me every time I see an error too late to edit.
Don't look away. Run your MAGA acquaintances' noses in it. We have to stop this before it gets where it will inevitably end if we don't. If we fail, the folks who voted for this or passively let it happen (including Dems in Congress) must never be able to pretend they didn't know. 1/2
3 dead so far at Krome ICE detention center in Florida. Max capacity was 500, they have over 4,000 and not enough water and food. Reports say they get 1 cup of water per day.
These are already death camps.
eu.usatoday.com/story/news/n...
english.elpais.com/usa/2025-04-...
These are already death camps.
eu.usatoday.com/story/news/n...
english.elpais.com/usa/2025-04-...
Immigrant women describe 'hell on earth' in ICE detention
No shower for days, cameras trained on the toilet, women crammed into cells 'like sardines,' among the allegations.
eu.usatoday.com
April 3, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Don't look away. Run your MAGA acquaintances' noses in it. We have to stop this before it gets where it will inevitably end if we don't. If we fail, the folks who voted for this or passively let it happen (including Dems in Congress) must never be able to pretend they didn't know. 1/2
10 years post-divorce and I just deleted a couple hundred 20 year old pics my ex had on our shared computer that somehow migrated into my Google Photos account. Pics of the elementary school kids she taught one year, of her sister's vacation and brother's house build in progress. Weirdly freeing.
April 1, 2025 at 11:04 PM
10 years post-divorce and I just deleted a couple hundred 20 year old pics my ex had on our shared computer that somehow migrated into my Google Photos account. Pics of the elementary school kids she taught one year, of her sister's vacation and brother's house build in progress. Weirdly freeing.
Reposted by Umlaut Schwa
Look what you've gone and done to the emotional support Canadians.
March 16, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Look what you've gone and done to the emotional support Canadians.
NYC pilgrimage. IYKYK
March 16, 2025 at 7:33 PM
NYC pilgrimage. IYKYK
My fucking cat--the sweetest I have ever known and beloved by my younger daughter--pushed a window screen until it broke (I assume unintentionally), ran into the street, and was killed by a car.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
March 11, 2025 at 2:00 AM
My fucking cat--the sweetest I have ever known and beloved by my younger daughter--pushed a window screen until it broke (I assume unintentionally), ran into the street, and was killed by a car.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
Read the whole thread. I am convinced the entirety of Dem leadership needs to go--we are seeing a complete failure to recognize the moment and rise to it.
You know what I think the worst part of this might be??? That the “fighters” we’re supposed to “choose” from in this headass meme are largely WOC who the party doesn’t ACTUALLY BACK UP in any fights. AOC is in a unique position as resented token for the party’s left AND WOC and that’s it.
?????
March 6, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Read the whole thread. I am convinced the entirety of Dem leadership needs to go--we are seeing a complete failure to recognize the moment and rise to it.
Chris Kluwe has never been shy in speaking up for his beliefs. Loved him as a Viking, love him more now.
Former NFL punter ARRESTED after protesting ‘MAGA’
youtube.com/shorts/W-N1k...
youtube.com/shorts/W-N1k...
Former NFL punter ARRESTED after protesting ‘MAGA’
YouTube video by Adam Parkhomenko
youtube.com
February 19, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Chris Kluwe has never been shy in speaking up for his beliefs. Loved him as a Viking, love him more now.