Umlaut Schwa
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umlautschwa.bsky.social
Umlaut Schwa
@umlautschwa.bsky.social
Anonymous Minneapolis(ish) crank. Lefty loud music listener, sff reader, rpg player, Jared Keeso fanboy.

If the acronym WMYBSALB means anything to you, let's be mutuals and I'll share my old handle.
Only time in my life I've ever had a Lyft driver turn on and then up his music so he didn't have to hear me blather about my night. Little hurtful, TBH. 2/2
October 5, 2025 at 5:30 AM
If I knew in advance and it cost less, I would absolutely love this as an option - even ordering with my Ozempic-slowed stomach in mind I regularly find myself unable to finish restaurant meals and wasting food if I'm not in a position to take leftovers. Last weekend it was grass-fed ribeye.
August 11, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Oh, for sure. They've both become voracious readers, just without a lot of overlap with my middle-aged-dad-raised-on-his-own-parents'-1940s-onward-sff-collection perspective. Which is great--as a parent I am far happier that they're independent and confident in finding what they like vs. aping me.
August 11, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I tried so hard to get my kids to read The Hero and the Crown, especially after the older one fell in love with Tamora Pierce. They both bounced off hard. Which was a bummer, but also consistent with anything they didn't find on their own, really.
August 11, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Congrats on finding and living your truth. The fight is worth it.
August 8, 2025 at 4:22 AM
He's such an unlikable turd that getting the Presidency through Trump being removed from office seems a lot more likely than him actually getting elected. If he's at all self-aware I could see shanking as something he'd consider.
August 7, 2025 at 12:01 AM
...and then you learn there is such a thing as a chiropractor inspirational speaker, like Tony Robbins but also a degreed quack. And *then* you discover you have discovered a brand new if limited use screening criterion. 2/2
July 31, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Yeah, I can see that I made an assumption in haste and unintentionally escalated your statement past where you intended. Sorry. For the record, I don't like shootings either.
July 30, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Except it doesn't sound like he was targeting Blackstone guy--I'm all about a por encourage les autres campaign, but it needs to be deliberate to be effective, no?
July 29, 2025 at 11:33 PM
It wouldn't have been heavy labor if I was in shape. Which I am working on but it's not as easy as it was even in my 40s.
July 29, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Yes, I had to tell you the part about the overheated sweaty dude blowing chunks in front of his neighborhood to get to my biomechanics musing. Also, puke apparently kills peonie leaves.
a rainbow with the words " be more you know " and a star
Alt: a rainbow with the words " be more you know " and a star
media.tenor.com
July 29, 2025 at 2:55 AM
You would think dropping that much weight would mean I wouldn't overheat and stay overheated for a ridiculously long time. Maybe I am generating the same heat for unit of volume, but have proportionally less surface area with which to radiate? 6/
July 29, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Remember the Ozempic? I'm down over 60 lbs. You would think I would cool down easier with less mass. Nope. Just as bad. Two hours later, I just remembered I bought a bunch of Velcro strapped cooling pads. I could be totally cooled down. 5
July 29, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I go inside, wash up and then just sit down, sweating, hoping the AC will start cooling me down. TWO FUCKING HOURS later I remember I just bought some large ice/gel packs to put on my joints and lower back after lifting. Using those I would have been cool in like 10 minutes. Nope. Anyway, 4/
July 29, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I managed to hold it off til I got down off the ladder with the chainsaw and started to walk inside. I made it up my porch steps and turned to fling my head over the railing to puke repeatedly into the flower bed. So the folks strolling through the neighborhood got to see that. Awesome. 3/
July 29, 2025 at 2:32 AM
I was at it for like 45 minutes and just dying (I'm super out of shape) but trying to hang on since I was so close to finishing. Then the Ozempic exercise nausea hit. I hadn't eaten in 5 hours but I guess Ozempic slows down gastric emptying *that* much. 2/
July 29, 2025 at 2:28 AM
It's a couple extra characters, but adding the first letter of the time zone after each number can help keep this clear.
June 16, 2025 at 4:08 PM
As you know, I am in no way a social scientist - but is citing an LLM categorization considered acceptable practice these days? And is the AEI mentioned here the right-wing think tank? Because, again, not sure that's up to scholarly snuff and if it is, ugh.
June 9, 2025 at 7:43 PM