Umlaut Schwa
@umlautschwa.bsky.social
Anonymous Minneapolis(ish) crank. Lefty loud music listener, sff reader, rpg player, Jared Keeso fanboy.
If the acronym WMYBSALB means anything to you, let's be mutuals and I'll share my old handle.
If the acronym WMYBSALB means anything to you, let's be mutuals and I'll share my old handle.
Probably could be a series: things you text your kid when high late at night. (The first one was sober--i had left her at a concert and took longer than she expected. I don't think she loves that she has the type of dad that texts such things. In my defense, I wanted to be succinct.)
August 3, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Probably could be a series: things you text your kid when high late at night. (The first one was sober--i had left her at a concert and took longer than she expected. I don't think she loves that she has the type of dad that texts such things. In my defense, I wanted to be succinct.)
NYC pilgrimage. IYKYK
March 16, 2025 at 7:33 PM
NYC pilgrimage. IYKYK
My fucking cat--the sweetest I have ever known and beloved by my younger daughter--pushed a window screen until it broke (I assume unintentionally), ran into the street, and was killed by a car.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
March 11, 2025 at 2:00 AM
My fucking cat--the sweetest I have ever known and beloved by my younger daughter--pushed a window screen until it broke (I assume unintentionally), ran into the street, and was killed by a car.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
Waiting for my little girl to get home from work to break her heart.
This sucks.
RIP Jenga.
Found my next first date shirt.
![White T-shirt with black line art of a Godzilla-esque Kaiju, under which is the text:
BORN TO EAT
HOLE IS A FUCK
[Kanji I can't read] Kill em all 1999
410,757,664,530 DEAD SORCERERS](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:fuivo5qjvzvwnomewsr7imkz/bafkreiasnwcuxxbkgbgw4jmhklvj7txde73ku4zh4xo7md4hedz4q6foc4@jpeg)
December 20, 2024 at 4:52 AM
Found my next first date shirt.
Amazing how happy finally finding the clog in your vacuum that's been frustrating you for mumble mumble and removing it can make you feel.
Took sitting down with YouTube and opening things I didn't know opened, but I got the fucker. Never getting those 90 minutes back, but victory is still mine!
Took sitting down with YouTube and opening things I didn't know opened, but I got the fucker. Never getting those 90 minutes back, but victory is still mine!
December 12, 2024 at 3:54 AM
Amazing how happy finally finding the clog in your vacuum that's been frustrating you for mumble mumble and removing it can make you feel.
Took sitting down with YouTube and opening things I didn't know opened, but I got the fucker. Never getting those 90 minutes back, but victory is still mine!
Took sitting down with YouTube and opening things I didn't know opened, but I got the fucker. Never getting those 90 minutes back, but victory is still mine!
Going old school escapist.
November 6, 2024 at 1:06 AM
Going old school escapist.
I'm sure there are nerdier tattoos out there, but I don't think *I* can top "Sick-Ass Displacer Beast."
October 17, 2024 at 11:58 PM
I'm sure there are nerdier tattoos out there, but I don't think *I* can top "Sick-Ass Displacer Beast."
Soul Coughing was pretty great tonight. The band was basking in the love. Crowd knew all the words.
September 25, 2024 at 5:14 AM
Soul Coughing was pretty great tonight. The band was basking in the love. Crowd knew all the words.
When the Delta Tau boys are less janky than you
September 11, 2024 at 10:47 PM
When the Delta Tau boys are less janky than you
Love Grand Marais. A few years back I got up at 5 a.m. to get this shot on the pebble beach up a bit from the harbor. Celebrated with World's Best Donuts.
September 2, 2024 at 3:56 PM
Love Grand Marais. A few years back I got up at 5 a.m. to get this shot on the pebble beach up a bit from the harbor. Celebrated with World's Best Donuts.
r/minnesota is here to help:
August 6, 2024 at 4:14 PM
r/minnesota is here to help:
The juxtaposition made me laugh snort.
July 26, 2024 at 11:28 PM
The juxtaposition made me laugh snort.
I guess they weren't completely red.
June 30, 2024 at 1:02 AM
I guess they weren't completely red.
Wildly wrong unless you average where I grew up, where my folks grew up, and where I moved for college and have spent most of my adult life. I wonder how different it would be if I had answered another way when it was a coin toss between options. Yard sale, garage sale, and rummage sale are =.
June 29, 2024 at 7:56 PM
Wildly wrong unless you average where I grew up, where my folks grew up, and where I moved for college and have spent most of my adult life. I wonder how different it would be if I had answered another way when it was a coin toss between options. Yard sale, garage sale, and rummage sale are =.
Cleaning out Mom the hoarder's house. My sister is getting punchy.
June 22, 2024 at 6:12 PM
Cleaning out Mom the hoarder's house. My sister is getting punchy.
This was where I retired.
June 20, 2024 at 4:59 PM
This was where I retired.
You could make mine and my kids' day!
June 12, 2024 at 3:21 PM
You could make mine and my kids' day!
I haven't tried this yet, but FWIW here are the instructions for turning it off I ran across yesterday.
May 16, 2024 at 1:32 PM
I haven't tried this yet, but FWIW here are the instructions for turning it off I ran across yesterday.
I'm going full Lemmy ASAP. I am given to understand by multiple women that this is not an acceptable choice for their romantic partners to make and still hope to have sex, but I've been waiting a long time since I was 24, and it will be even more by the time I retire. I deserve this.
May 8, 2024 at 3:33 PM
I'm going full Lemmy ASAP. I am given to understand by multiple women that this is not an acceptable choice for their romantic partners to make and still hope to have sex, but I've been waiting a long time since I was 24, and it will be even more by the time I retire. I deserve this.
Arbuckle is an all-around degenerate.
March 21, 2024 at 3:55 PM
Arbuckle is an all-around degenerate.
Teen and I went to Cost Plus World Market and went a little ham on snacks and condiments. So far, Marmite is a loser, but cumin lamb skewer potato chips are two thumbs up.
February 10, 2024 at 7:56 PM
Teen and I went to Cost Plus World Market and went a little ham on snacks and condiments. So far, Marmite is a loser, but cumin lamb skewer potato chips are two thumbs up.
There are worse ideas.
December 12, 2023 at 6:55 PM
There are worse ideas.