Johnny Fuck
@teejaytwoface.bsky.social
Bad tweets for bad people: NOW WITH FULL-COLOR PICTURES!
Applying this to jacking off for a two-birds-one-stone self-compliment
anything that at any point you loved but then became too cool for, know that someday you will turn back to that thing and say "oh. no. you were fine, you were more than fine. it is I who was cringe"
May 16, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Applying this to jacking off for a two-birds-one-stone self-compliment
Cradle of Fear passes the Bechdel test with flying colours.
March 3, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Cradle of Fear passes the Bechdel test with flying colours.
Pride month will never be good until they come out with a Pride 💯
November 5, 2024 at 5:46 AM
Pride month will never be good until they come out with a Pride 💯
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
September 28, 2024 at 12:52 PM
I'm back baby and I've got a whole new bag (it's full of melted dildos)
February 3, 2024 at 6:50 AM
I'm back baby and I've got a whole new bag (it's full of melted dildos)
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
Boycott Coles & Woolworths - organised by the Retail and Fast Food Workers Union.
"From 18 December 2023, anyone who can should do their shopping elsewhere... and join community actions on the 21st and 22nd December 2023 throughout Australia."
https://shorturl.at/noDY0
"From 18 December 2023, anyone who can should do their shopping elsewhere... and join community actions on the 21st and 22nd December 2023 throughout Australia."
https://shorturl.at/noDY0
December 8, 2023 at 1:59 AM
Boycott Coles & Woolworths - organised by the Retail and Fast Food Workers Union.
"From 18 December 2023, anyone who can should do their shopping elsewhere... and join community actions on the 21st and 22nd December 2023 throughout Australia."
https://shorturl.at/noDY0
"From 18 December 2023, anyone who can should do their shopping elsewhere... and join community actions on the 21st and 22nd December 2023 throughout Australia."
https://shorturl.at/noDY0
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
before you share your opinion on "queer issues" on any form of media you should have to go to an actual gay bar and explain it in person to actual gay people and see how they react because some of you people would shape up pretty quick
December 3, 2023 at 8:24 PM
before you share your opinion on "queer issues" on any form of media you should have to go to an actual gay bar and explain it in person to actual gay people and see how they react because some of you people would shape up pretty quick
Been revisiting some childhood classics (I'm early 30's for context) and yo literally every single Tom Green bit makes me think that style of comedy needs to come back, but that's mostly cuz I am a weird lös kinda fag. I reckon I could pull that off too. I have a deathwish, why not make it funny?
December 3, 2023 at 1:54 PM
Been revisiting some childhood classics (I'm early 30's for context) and yo literally every single Tom Green bit makes me think that style of comedy needs to come back, but that's mostly cuz I am a weird lös kinda fag. I reckon I could pull that off too. I have a deathwish, why not make it funny?
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
heres a moral imperative for ya: have a nice day
December 2, 2023 at 3:05 PM
heres a moral imperative for ya: have a nice day
Ex-music industry dud at my first festival since leaving the industry., watching Enter Shikari at 1pm feels like a Time Is A Flat Circle moment but I'm loving it and don't care about opsec anymore. Here's a photo of me being a hot bitch. Plz give me attention uWu
December 2, 2023 at 4:16 AM
Ex-music industry dud at my first festival since leaving the industry., watching Enter Shikari at 1pm feels like a Time Is A Flat Circle moment but I'm loving it and don't care about opsec anymore. Here's a photo of me being a hot bitch. Plz give me attention uWu
CRAB RAVE CRAB RAVE CRAB RAVE FUCK OUTTA HERE HENRY
December 1, 2023 at 2:20 AM
CRAB RAVE CRAB RAVE CRAB RAVE FUCK OUTTA HERE HENRY
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
anyway here’s a mute list of people who have expressed sympathy for derek chauvin
November 25, 2023 at 4:13 AM
anyway here’s a mute list of people who have expressed sympathy for derek chauvin
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
rt if you support being a faggot
November 24, 2023 at 2:56 AM
rt if you support being a faggot
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
Someone once described the Facebook reactions, in order, as “the stages of learning about Morrissey” and that’s really stuck with me
November 9, 2023 at 10:12 PM
Someone once described the Facebook reactions, in order, as “the stages of learning about Morrissey” and that’s really stuck with me
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
I know the polite move—the politically correct move—is to assume most Trump voters suffer under a sort of false consciousness. They know not what they do!
But a more concerning possibility is that many do, in fact, see Trump for what he is—maybe not every detail, but a general sense—and are into it.
But a more concerning possibility is that many do, in fact, see Trump for what he is—maybe not every detail, but a general sense—and are into it.
November 19, 2023 at 3:50 PM
I know the polite move—the politically correct move—is to assume most Trump voters suffer under a sort of false consciousness. They know not what they do!
But a more concerning possibility is that many do, in fact, see Trump for what he is—maybe not every detail, but a general sense—and are into it.
But a more concerning possibility is that many do, in fact, see Trump for what he is—maybe not every detail, but a general sense—and are into it.
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
had a dream where i was head librarian at the david lynch museum. going back to sleep now since my break is almost over
November 19, 2023 at 8:24 PM
had a dream where i was head librarian at the david lynch museum. going back to sleep now since my break is almost over
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
you might think that I’m antisemitic, but would an antisemite make vague, grandiose proclamations about wanting what’s best for the future of humanity?
November 19, 2023 at 10:43 PM
you might think that I’m antisemitic, but would an antisemite make vague, grandiose proclamations about wanting what’s best for the future of humanity?
I am about to see Freddy Got Fingered on a big screen. Why do I feel so empty.
November 19, 2023 at 9:31 AM
I am about to see Freddy Got Fingered on a big screen. Why do I feel so empty.
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
You think the internet is your ally, but I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn't see streaming video until I was already a man, and by then it was nothing but BLINDING
November 11, 2023 at 4:49 PM
You think the internet is your ally, but I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn't see streaming video until I was already a man, and by then it was nothing but BLINDING
I haven't been online in a month. Have I missed anything?
November 12, 2023 at 2:36 AM
I haven't been online in a month. Have I missed anything?
Thing you need to know son, is that I'm dumb as shit. A total idiot. Clumsy as fuck, to boot.
October 3, 2023 at 9:50 AM
Thing you need to know son, is that I'm dumb as shit. A total idiot. Clumsy as fuck, to boot.
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
Not only am i not sorry i made it weird, but if i could go back and make it weirder? I would.
October 1, 2023 at 11:14 PM
Not only am i not sorry i made it weird, but if i could go back and make it weirder? I would.
Reposted by Johnny Fuck
I love imagining Australian versions of the "Do you bite your thumb at me sir?" scene from Romeo & Juliet
E.g.
"Did you just tell me 'Let's fuckin' go cunt'?"
<to mate> "Are we fucked if I did?" / "Yeah, totally fucked"
"Yeah nah, I said 'Let's fuckin' go cunt' but, like, not to you"
E.g.
"Did you just tell me 'Let's fuckin' go cunt'?"
<to mate> "Are we fucked if I did?" / "Yeah, totally fucked"
"Yeah nah, I said 'Let's fuckin' go cunt' but, like, not to you"
October 1, 2023 at 7:06 AM
I love imagining Australian versions of the "Do you bite your thumb at me sir?" scene from Romeo & Juliet
E.g.
"Did you just tell me 'Let's fuckin' go cunt'?"
<to mate> "Are we fucked if I did?" / "Yeah, totally fucked"
"Yeah nah, I said 'Let's fuckin' go cunt' but, like, not to you"
E.g.
"Did you just tell me 'Let's fuckin' go cunt'?"
<to mate> "Are we fucked if I did?" / "Yeah, totally fucked"
"Yeah nah, I said 'Let's fuckin' go cunt' but, like, not to you"