Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
Area man, unfortunately
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Pinned
Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
· Jan 24
Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen
Smells like cope dude. Sorry
Mamdani has enough ego to fill the room and can't laugh when he's not in control
November 22, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Smells like cope dude. Sorry
Trump to Zohran:
November 21, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Trump to Zohran:
These people are so fuckin funny man
November 21, 2025 at 10:38 PM
These people are so fuckin funny man
Vance: Out on the town having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They’re all just out of frame, laughing too.
November 21, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Vance: Out on the town having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They’re all just out of frame, laughing too.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Groceries can mean a lot of things
Zohran next week: “We’re going to be opening government-run grocery stores. Groceries, kind of an old-fashioned word…”
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Groceries can mean a lot of things
Zohran next week: “We’re going to be opening government-run grocery stores. Groceries, kind of an old-fashioned word…”
November 21, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Zohran next week: “We’re going to be opening government-run grocery stores. Groceries, kind of an old-fashioned word…”
My prediction basically came true
“You know Zohran, we’re not so different, you and me. I’m an insurrectionist pedophile who smells horrible, and you’re a socialist. We both have our flaws, so to speak…”
November 21, 2025 at 10:06 PM
My prediction basically came true
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Stephen Miller going into the white nationalist reading room only to discover Trump has replaced everything with feminist zines
November 21, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Stephen Miller going into the white nationalist reading room only to discover Trump has replaced everything with feminist zines
JD is downing a fifth of stoli behind the wheel on the way to Ashley Furniture for some sectional healing
Bad day for JD. Usha, then Trump, the loveseat is next
November 21, 2025 at 9:59 PM
JD is downing a fifth of stoli behind the wheel on the way to Ashley Furniture for some sectional healing
Trump and Mamdani probably bonded over their mutual hate for JD
KILMEADE: ”I think JD Vance is jealous. I think the president wants to use Zohran as a running mate.”
November 21, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Trump and Mamdani probably bonded over their mutual hate for JD
Missed opportunity imo
If Zohran does the Trump shimmy double jerk off dance in this meeting, it just might heal the entire nation
November 21, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Missed opportunity imo
It would be funny if Trump immediately went back to issuing death threats to Congress after this
November 21, 2025 at 9:15 PM
It would be funny if Trump immediately went back to issuing death threats to Congress after this
MAGA influencers on Twitter are going to be punching themselves in the dick over how cordial this meeting is. They were probably expecting it to be a setup to deport Zohran.
November 21, 2025 at 9:01 PM
MAGA influencers on Twitter are going to be punching themselves in the dick over how cordial this meeting is. They were probably expecting it to be a setup to deport Zohran.
If Zohran does the Trump shimmy double jerk off dance in this meeting, it just might heal the entire nation
November 21, 2025 at 8:47 PM
If Zohran does the Trump shimmy double jerk off dance in this meeting, it just might heal the entire nation
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Reupping this now that greenies is begging for mercy
This is out of control. I can’t believe she was on the plane with former president Trump yesterday and said Arby’s in your pants on Twitter today. We need a complete and total shutdown until we can figure out what the hell is going on.
November 21, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Reupping this now that greenies is begging for mercy
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
I prefer to imagine the South Park Trump - "Hey guy.. we can be friends guy.."
November 21, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I prefer to imagine the South Park Trump - "Hey guy.. we can be friends guy.."
“You know Zohran, we’re not so different, you and me. I’m an insurrectionist pedophile who smells horrible, and you’re a socialist. We both have our flaws, so to speak…”
November 21, 2025 at 7:12 PM
“You know Zohran, we’re not so different, you and me. I’m an insurrectionist pedophile who smells horrible, and you’re a socialist. We both have our flaws, so to speak…”
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social please do this for us
Zohran should begin the meeting by wishing President Trump a happy Fat Cock Friday
November 21, 2025 at 6:47 PM
@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social please do this for us
Zohran should begin the meeting by wishing President Trump a happy Fat Cock Friday
November 21, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Zohran should begin the meeting by wishing President Trump a happy Fat Cock Friday
Hip hip hooray for capitalism. It’s a lot of fun and it’s going great.
BREAKING: The House of Representatives voted 285–98 in favor of a resolution condemning socialism.
Eighty-six Democrats joined Republicans in supporting the measure, including House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.
Eighty-six Democrats joined Republicans in supporting the measure, including House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.
November 21, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Hip hip hooray for capitalism. It’s a lot of fun and it’s going great.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
I would just yell “what stinks in here?” And then as he start walking away “there it goes”
November 21, 2025 at 5:53 PM
I would just yell “what stinks in here?” And then as he start walking away “there it goes”
Bonus points for “and I might add, Mr. President, that you smell terrible.”
while I’m being cranky, access journalism needs to go. When the president does his “I’m alpha because I insulted you” thing somebody needs to fall on his sword and say “what the fuck is wrong with you, old man?” on a hot mic. the hero of the wizard of Oz is Toto.
November 21, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Bonus points for “and I might add, Mr. President, that you smell terrible.”
Big facts
a giant drippy nipple even
November 21, 2025 at 8:23 AM
Big facts
Poppycock. It’s quite clear to everyone that it’s a giant nipple.
Looks like it could be a shadow.
November 21, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Poppycock. It’s quite clear to everyone that it’s a giant nipple.