Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
Area man, unfortunately
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Pinned
Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
· Jan 24
Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen
Mr. President…I know you’ve been struggling with a lot of really severe health issues recently, and I just want to let you know…that you don’t need to hold on anymore. I’ve made my peace with this. Somehow I’ll carry on... You have my permission to go, sir…
November 11, 2025 at 7:18 AM
Mr. President…I know you’ve been struggling with a lot of really severe health issues recently, and I just want to let you know…that you don’t need to hold on anymore. I’ve made my peace with this. Somehow I’ll carry on... You have my permission to go, sir…
Why are they photographing her and blasting it out without permission
November 11, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Why are they photographing her and blasting it out without permission
Senator Adam Schiff, you’re kicked out of the resistance
Schiff voted to criminalize HEMP.
November 11, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Senator Adam Schiff, you’re kicked out of the resistance
Don’t question my relationship with Quark. He and I are very close. The comparison was purely physical.
You obviously don't know Quark at all. He at least has a heart!
prince is sitting on a couch with the words `` lord have mercy '' written on it .
ALT: prince is sitting on a couch with the words `` lord have mercy '' written on it .
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Don’t question my relationship with Quark. He and I are very close. The comparison was purely physical.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Respectfully, I have to agree with Mr. Maxx9000.
The historic record will show that literally every president gets run over by a car and then says it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim.
The historic record will show that literally every president gets run over by a car and then says it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim.
November 10, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Respectfully, I have to agree with Mr. Maxx9000.
The historic record will show that literally every president gets run over by a car and then says it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim.
The historic record will show that literally every president gets run over by a car and then says it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Well he has a point. Every president who tried to overturn a lawful election where he lost later pardoned all the actors responsible for conspiracy and fake elector scheme that was for his direct benefit.
November 10, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Well he has a point. Every president who tried to overturn a lawful election where he lost later pardoned all the actors responsible for conspiracy and fake elector scheme that was for his direct benefit.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Lord please send another car 🙏
Remember when Rudy Giuliani got run over by a car a few weeks ago and then said it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim?
What was the deal there
What was the deal there
November 10, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Lord please send another car 🙏
The late great Hannibal Lecter is trying to watch his figure
November 10, 2025 at 10:11 PM
The late great Hannibal Lecter is trying to watch his figure
Did you just search the name “Rudy Giuliani” and start blabbing your stupid cult member cuck nonsense without actually reading the post you’re replying to?
Every president does this.
Biden, for someone with access to the auto pen, gave unconditional pardons going back 6 years. Even though they hadn't even been charged with anything. Joe Biden holds the record for the most commutations.
Biden, for someone with access to the auto pen, gave unconditional pardons going back 6 years. Even though they hadn't even been charged with anything. Joe Biden holds the record for the most commutations.
November 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Did you just search the name “Rudy Giuliani” and start blabbing your stupid cult member cuck nonsense without actually reading the post you’re replying to?
Remember when Rudy Giuliani got run over by a car a few weeks ago and then said it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim?
What was the deal there
What was the deal there
November 10, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Remember when Rudy Giuliani got run over by a car a few weeks ago and then said it happened because he was standing in the road helping a domestic violence victim?
What was the deal there
What was the deal there
Excited for another week of being governed by a demented rapist pedophile hellbent on revenge
November 10, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Excited for another week of being governed by a demented rapist pedophile hellbent on revenge
Whoa! Just got back from burning American Eagle jeans at a socially distanced bonfire, and hadn’t seen that the shutdown ended. Can anyone send me a list of the wokest talking points so I can know how I’m supposed to feel about it?
November 10, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Whoa! Just got back from burning American Eagle jeans at a socially distanced bonfire, and hadn’t seen that the shutdown ended. Can anyone send me a list of the wokest talking points so I can know how I’m supposed to feel about it?
I’m going to bust a capellini in someone’s ass
November 10, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I’m going to bust a capellini in someone’s ass
What did they know?
November 10, 2025 at 6:51 AM
What did they know?
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Judging by the quality of his posts, he probably almost strangled himself getting dressed in the morning and it wasn’t the first time.
November 10, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Judging by the quality of his posts, he probably almost strangled himself getting dressed in the morning and it wasn’t the first time.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
one of these days his bowels will betray him and I cannot wait
November 10, 2025 at 5:24 AM
one of these days his bowels will betray him and I cannot wait
In better news, it looks like Catturd almost died again. I wonder if this has anything to do with the severe bowel blockage he suffered last year. Fingers crossed his bowels got reblocked 🤞
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 AM
In better news, it looks like Catturd almost died again. I wonder if this has anything to do with the severe bowel blockage he suffered last year. Fingers crossed his bowels got reblocked 🤞
Everyone’s giving you a hard time tonight Chuck, but I’m going to extend an olive branch: I’d love to have you for dinner. I just purchased some fava beans and a nice Chianti (prices were high haha). Let me know your availability.
Democrats have been fighting for months to address America's healthcare crisis
For the millions who will lose coverage
For people with cancer who won't get the care they need
For working families who can't afford to pay $25K more a year for healthcare
We will keep fighting
For the millions who will lose coverage
For people with cancer who won't get the care they need
For working families who can't afford to pay $25K more a year for healthcare
We will keep fighting
November 10, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Everyone’s giving you a hard time tonight Chuck, but I’m going to extend an olive branch: I’d love to have you for dinner. I just purchased some fava beans and a nice Chianti (prices were high haha). Let me know your availability.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
I guess I have another reason to post this:
November 10, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I guess I have another reason to post this:
Good news. I found an image of Senator Schumer that more accurately depicts his likeness.
November 10, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Good news. I found an image of Senator Schumer that more accurately depicts his likeness.
@schumer.senate.gov you killed Paul Tagliabue you fucking asshole
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 AM
@schumer.senate.gov you killed Paul Tagliabue you fucking asshole
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
We’re gonna eat you. With forks.
November 10, 2025 at 2:50 AM
We’re gonna eat you. With forks.
Bro what the fuck is this
This pile of flap meat has more spine than Chuck Schumer
November 10, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Bro what the fuck is this
They freed Max B today and yet we’re all stuck here talking about Chuck Schumer. This blows.
November 10, 2025 at 2:37 AM
They freed Max B today and yet we’re all stuck here talking about Chuck Schumer. This blows.