ma!
@takesbyme.bsky.social
millennial. certified hater. here to make bad jokes.
my grandma just joined telegram. i fear (for republicans) she’s been radicalized.
March 2, 2025 at 2:42 AM
my grandma just joined telegram. i fear (for republicans) she’s been radicalized.
Honestly, Mary Cosby is the correct example for how to handle the issue as a cast member on reality tv. Touch on it because it is so important, but don’t belabor it for a story line.
January 15, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Honestly, Mary Cosby is the correct example for how to handle the issue as a cast member on reality tv. Touch on it because it is so important, but don’t belabor it for a story line.
I don’t know but it feels hella exploitative that housewives are using their sons’ PAST addiction as part of their current story line. If their addiction wasn’t a part of your story on the show, then it shouldn’t be on the show!!
January 15, 2025 at 5:49 AM
I don’t know but it feels hella exploitative that housewives are using their sons’ PAST addiction as part of their current story line. If their addiction wasn’t a part of your story on the show, then it shouldn’t be on the show!!
today I wore a tighter fitting turtleneck instead of a loose sweater to work and every single man in the office told me I looked more dressed up as usual
January 15, 2025 at 3:12 AM
today I wore a tighter fitting turtleneck instead of a loose sweater to work and every single man in the office told me I looked more dressed up as usual
Reposted by ma!
“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
January 10, 2025 at 1:56 PM
“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
Reposted by ma!
You know how your mom used to get mad and start counting? I think the Earth is at twwwoooo.
November 15, 2024 at 11:07 PM
You know how your mom used to get mad and start counting? I think the Earth is at twwwoooo.
imagine having a penis smaller than a micro penis
Trump: "We're going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America."
(He's serious.)
(He's serious.)
January 7, 2025 at 8:00 PM
imagine having a penis smaller than a micro penis
me, on a work call
January 7, 2025 at 7:54 PM
me, on a work call
Reposted by ma!
just once, I wish the porn bots wanted to follow me for great content
December 21, 2024 at 8:54 PM
just once, I wish the porn bots wanted to follow me for great content
Reposted by ma!
well if you guys are all gonna be bots i wanna be one too
January 7, 2025 at 3:04 AM
well if you guys are all gonna be bots i wanna be one too
Reposted by ma!
“This is a January problem” this
“This is a new year problem” that
Turns out it’s actually a day after my bonus gets paid out and I quit problem
“This is a new year problem” that
Turns out it’s actually a day after my bonus gets paid out and I quit problem
December 19, 2024 at 6:19 PM
“This is a January problem” this
“This is a new year problem” that
Turns out it’s actually a day after my bonus gets paid out and I quit problem
“This is a new year problem” that
Turns out it’s actually a day after my bonus gets paid out and I quit problem
Reposted by ma!
there should be a time limit at drive thru atms. if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, go inside!!!!
December 24, 2024 at 4:31 PM
there should be a time limit at drive thru atms. if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, go inside!!!!
me, as a pirate: argh matey, please like me skeets
January 5, 2025 at 3:32 AM
me, as a pirate: argh matey, please like me skeets
a coworker gave me sourdough starter that her family has allegedly been using since the gold rush and I absolutely just killed it… unsure if what I’m feeling is shame or pride
January 4, 2025 at 10:14 PM
a coworker gave me sourdough starter that her family has allegedly been using since the gold rush and I absolutely just killed it… unsure if what I’m feeling is shame or pride
forcing my mother to come to chilis for my 30th birthday. cannot wait ♥️
January 2, 2025 at 11:50 PM
forcing my mother to come to chilis for my 30th birthday. cannot wait ♥️
When I was younger, I thought Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy was a progressive gay country anthem since it was men singing. Never in my naive mind did I think they meant to ride them, the singers.
January 1, 2025 at 4:36 AM
When I was younger, I thought Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy was a progressive gay country anthem since it was men singing. Never in my naive mind did I think they meant to ride them, the singers.
Reposted by ma!
I have the paper towel habit of a much richer man.
December 30, 2024 at 6:35 PM
I have the paper towel habit of a much richer man.
I can’t believe we, as a society, ever questioned Mary Cosby
December 31, 2024 at 2:42 AM
I can’t believe we, as a society, ever questioned Mary Cosby
husband was watching chamber of secrets so I sat down to watch with him. I subconsciously started dodging the the cursed quidditch ball as if I was Harry Potter
December 29, 2024 at 4:10 AM
husband was watching chamber of secrets so I sat down to watch with him. I subconsciously started dodging the the cursed quidditch ball as if I was Harry Potter
also, the GERD is GERDing tonight and I’m ready to pass away ✌🏻🪦🕊️
December 28, 2024 at 6:53 AM
also, the GERD is GERDing tonight and I’m ready to pass away ✌🏻🪦🕊️
i keep getting fed ads for a new dating app on the clock app, and I soooo badly want to download it to see what the deal is. only problem? a husband.
December 28, 2024 at 6:51 AM
i keep getting fed ads for a new dating app on the clock app, and I soooo badly want to download it to see what the deal is. only problem? a husband.
👏 Cannot 👏 believe cannon digital cameras are the “it” gift this year @canon get ur bag girl
December 27, 2024 at 5:02 AM
👏 Cannot 👏 believe cannon digital cameras are the “it” gift this year @canon get ur bag girl
Do yall watch these rich girl Christmas hauls?
People are still buying triangle bikinis? Wtf is “Addicted”? I am tiiired. Give me old navy leggings and call it a day’
People are still buying triangle bikinis? Wtf is “Addicted”? I am tiiired. Give me old navy leggings and call it a day’
December 27, 2024 at 4:50 AM
Do yall watch these rich girl Christmas hauls?
People are still buying triangle bikinis? Wtf is “Addicted”? I am tiiired. Give me old navy leggings and call it a day’
People are still buying triangle bikinis? Wtf is “Addicted”? I am tiiired. Give me old navy leggings and call it a day’
Reposted by ma!
All I want for Christmas is appropriate levels of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin.
December 25, 2024 at 1:18 AM
All I want for Christmas is appropriate levels of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin.
there should be a time limit at drive thru atms. if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, go inside!!!!
December 24, 2024 at 4:31 PM
there should be a time limit at drive thru atms. if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, go inside!!!!