Sue Corvette
@suecorvette.bsky.social
I have a mad collection of Barbie dolls and other toys. I haven’t grown up yet and probably never will
I guess it’s better than “buy one get zero”
August 20, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I guess it’s better than “buy one get zero”
first person to eat an orange: this is disgusting!
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
June 20, 2025 at 2:43 PM
first person to eat an orange: this is disgusting!
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
You know you’re getting old when you start buying condolence cards in bulk
June 20, 2025 at 2:37 PM
You know you’re getting old when you start buying condolence cards in bulk
Am I the only one who finds a slide of pizza from a small pizza tastes way better than one from a medium or large?
June 13, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Am I the only one who finds a slide of pizza from a small pizza tastes way better than one from a medium or large?
If you want to find out if someone is ticklish, the first step is performing a testtickle
June 8, 2025 at 4:51 AM
If you want to find out if someone is ticklish, the first step is performing a testtickle
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Takes garbage out to the bin at 2am with smudged eyeliner
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
December 4, 2024 at 4:10 AM
Takes garbage out to the bin at 2am with smudged eyeliner
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
almost died last year when I fell into an automatic upholstery machine. I’m ok now tho. In fact, I’m fully recovered
June 4, 2025 at 9:08 PM
almost died last year when I fell into an automatic upholstery machine. I’m ok now tho. In fact, I’m fully recovered
me (bowing): thank you your majesty
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
June 4, 2025 at 2:10 AM
me (bowing): thank you your majesty
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
that awkward moment when your new dog turns out to be a kangaroo
June 4, 2025 at 1:26 AM
that awkward moment when your new dog turns out to be a kangaroo
my foolish neighbour thinks I won’t notice he’s hiding an elephant in his bushes but I’m on to him!
June 4, 2025 at 1:22 AM
my foolish neighbour thinks I won’t notice he’s hiding an elephant in his bushes but I’m on to him!
I’m in my bedroom watching a horror movie while I play with dinosaur rings when it hits me …
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
June 4, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I’m in my bedroom watching a horror movie while I play with dinosaur rings when it hits me …
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Don’t let hippos sniff mopeds
Or a deer chew your bike
Hide big wheels from gators
They know what they like
Geese love to rub rowboats
Ducks will tickle your van
Rabbits snuggle with tractors
Whenever they can
Squirrels smooch skateboards
If a door’s left ajar
And whatever you do
Or a deer chew your bike
Hide big wheels from gators
They know what they like
Geese love to rub rowboats
Ducks will tickle your van
Rabbits snuggle with tractors
Whenever they can
Squirrels smooch skateboards
If a door’s left ajar
And whatever you do
May 25, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Don’t let hippos sniff mopeds
Or a deer chew your bike
Hide big wheels from gators
They know what they like
Geese love to rub rowboats
Ducks will tickle your van
Rabbits snuggle with tractors
Whenever they can
Squirrels smooch skateboards
If a door’s left ajar
And whatever you do
Or a deer chew your bike
Hide big wheels from gators
They know what they like
Geese love to rub rowboats
Ducks will tickle your van
Rabbits snuggle with tractors
Whenever they can
Squirrels smooch skateboards
If a door’s left ajar
And whatever you do
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Age is not a number, it’s a word silly.
May 25, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Age is not a number, it’s a word silly.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Twenty years ago today I walked across the stage and proudly accepted a diploma from Harvard University, a day I'll never forget. I was promptly tackled by security and charged with trespassing, but man, what a moment.
May 24, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Twenty years ago today I walked across the stage and proudly accepted a diploma from Harvard University, a day I'll never forget. I was promptly tackled by security and charged with trespassing, but man, what a moment.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
him (a man of wealth and taste): please allow me to introduce myself.
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
May 6, 2023 at 1:54 AM
him (a man of wealth and taste): please allow me to introduce myself.
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
me (puzzled by the nature of his game): woo woo
[marketing meeting]
me: what campaign are we working on today?
boss: spaghetti-o’s
me (unprepared): uh oh
boss: say that again
me: what campaign are we working on today?
boss: spaghetti-o’s
me (unprepared): uh oh
boss: say that again
May 25, 2025 at 3:14 AM
[marketing meeting]
me: what campaign are we working on today?
boss: spaghetti-o’s
me (unprepared): uh oh
boss: say that again
me: what campaign are we working on today?
boss: spaghetti-o’s
me (unprepared): uh oh
boss: say that again
him: this hot sauce isn’t for pussies
me: of course not silly. it’s for your mouth. It would burn your pussy
me: of course not silly. it’s for your mouth. It would burn your pussy
May 25, 2025 at 3:12 AM
him: this hot sauce isn’t for pussies
me: of course not silly. it’s for your mouth. It would burn your pussy
me: of course not silly. it’s for your mouth. It would burn your pussy
* overheard at the bar *
Becky: so what do you do?
Him: I’m a beekeeper
Ecky: you astard!!!!
Becky: so what do you do?
Him: I’m a beekeeper
Ecky: you astard!!!!
May 25, 2025 at 3:10 AM
* overheard at the bar *
Becky: so what do you do?
Him: I’m a beekeeper
Ecky: you astard!!!!
Becky: so what do you do?
Him: I’m a beekeeper
Ecky: you astard!!!!
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Dear Lord, you've taken my favorite comedian, Ruth Buzzi, my favorite actor, Val Kilmer, and my favorite singer, Roberta Flack. I just wanted to let you know my favorite politician is Donald Trump.
May 24, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Dear Lord, you've taken my favorite comedian, Ruth Buzzi, my favorite actor, Val Kilmer, and my favorite singer, Roberta Flack. I just wanted to let you know my favorite politician is Donald Trump.
me: I want a Charlie Brown mural painted in the baby’s room
friend: I know a guy
me: is he very expensive?
friend: nah he works for peanuts
friend: I know a guy
me: is he very expensive?
friend: nah he works for peanuts
May 21, 2025 at 3:11 AM
me: I want a Charlie Brown mural painted in the baby’s room
friend: I know a guy
me: is he very expensive?
friend: nah he works for peanuts
friend: I know a guy
me: is he very expensive?
friend: nah he works for peanuts
My dog keeps bugging me for treats. I feel like I’ve hit a new low when I just told my 8 lbs shihtzu to fuck off
April 26, 2025 at 9:30 PM
My dog keeps bugging me for treats. I feel like I’ve hit a new low when I just told my 8 lbs shihtzu to fuck off
I’m crocheting a blue afghan, following a pattern. But today my finger slipped & I accidentally closed all 35 tabs I had open.
Now trying to find the pattern. Do you have any idea of how many blue afghan patterns exist on the internet? Like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack
Now trying to find the pattern. Do you have any idea of how many blue afghan patterns exist on the internet? Like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack
April 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
I’m crocheting a blue afghan, following a pattern. But today my finger slipped & I accidentally closed all 35 tabs I had open.
Now trying to find the pattern. Do you have any idea of how many blue afghan patterns exist on the internet? Like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack
Now trying to find the pattern. Do you have any idea of how many blue afghan patterns exist on the internet? Like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack
Thanks to online shopping, I’m the best dressed recluse you’ll never met
April 14, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Thanks to online shopping, I’m the best dressed recluse you’ll never met
Can’t believe I almost missed @gupton68.bsky.social ’s birthday!!
I even had to sign up for this app just so I could come on here and wish him a happy birthday!!!
(And here you thought you’d gotten away from me mahahahahahahahaga)
I even had to sign up for this app just so I could come on here and wish him a happy birthday!!!
(And here you thought you’d gotten away from me mahahahahahahahaga)
September 14, 2024 at 4:17 AM
Can’t believe I almost missed @gupton68.bsky.social ’s birthday!!
I even had to sign up for this app just so I could come on here and wish him a happy birthday!!!
(And here you thought you’d gotten away from me mahahahahahahahaga)
I even had to sign up for this app just so I could come on here and wish him a happy birthday!!!
(And here you thought you’d gotten away from me mahahahahahahahaga)