John Hansen (suburbanerd)
@suburbanerd.bsky.social
Middle aged dork in the Canadian Maritimes. Lefty Canadian, Star Trek nerd, fan of punk, hip hop, and country, erstwhile blogger, maker of pizza.
Occasionally seen in the Beaverton:
https://thebeaverton.com/author/johnhansen/
Saint John, NB/Menahqesk
Occasionally seen in the Beaverton:
https://thebeaverton.com/author/johnhansen/
Saint John, NB/Menahqesk
First day of Advent means cracking open the McSweeney’s Advent Calendar.
December 1, 2025 at 12:16 PM
First day of Advent means cracking open the McSweeney’s Advent Calendar.
Visiting the folks for some elder care which means prepping some meals for the week and scrubbing their shared Facebook account of those weird, AI generated conspiracy theory posts.
December 1, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Visiting the folks for some elder care which means prepping some meals for the week and scrubbing their shared Facebook account of those weird, AI generated conspiracy theory posts.
How is this not a stage musical yet?
“I come from the mainland seeking a missing girl and I’m confronted by degeneracy everywhere. There were people fornicating in the open with the woman on top! Unnatural!”
November 30, 2025 at 6:22 PM
How is this not a stage musical yet?
Reposted by John Hansen (suburbanerd)
🎶 You know mambo number one
Two, three, and four
You know mambo number six,
Seven, and more
But do you recall?
The most famous mambo of all?
*Lou Bega sidles in*
Two, three, and four
You know mambo number six,
Seven, and more
But do you recall?
The most famous mambo of all?
*Lou Bega sidles in*
December 14, 2024 at 11:50 PM
🎶 You know mambo number one
Two, three, and four
You know mambo number six,
Seven, and more
But do you recall?
The most famous mambo of all?
*Lou Bega sidles in*
Two, three, and four
You know mambo number six,
Seven, and more
But do you recall?
The most famous mambo of all?
*Lou Bega sidles in*
New Christmas ornament.
November 30, 2025 at 5:55 PM
New Christmas ornament.
“I come from the mainland seeking a missing girl and I’m confronted by degeneracy everywhere. There were people fornicating in the open with the woman on top! Unnatural!”
November 30, 2025 at 5:24 PM
“I come from the mainland seeking a missing girl and I’m confronted by degeneracy everywhere. There were people fornicating in the open with the woman on top! Unnatural!”
I love how they overdubbed her voice with an actual Scottish actor.
Yes, I’m on the nude Britt Ekland fertility dance in the inn part.
Finally watching the original Wicker Man for the first time since I was a teen and I forgot how bananas this movie is.
November 30, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I love how they overdubbed her voice with an actual Scottish actor.
Yes, I’m on the nude Britt Ekland fertility dance in the inn part.
Finally watching the original Wicker Man for the first time since I was a teen and I forgot how bananas this movie is.
November 30, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Yes, I’m on the nude Britt Ekland fertility dance in the inn part.
Finally watching the original Wicker Man for the first time since I was a teen and I forgot how bananas this movie is.
November 30, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Finally watching the original Wicker Man for the first time since I was a teen and I forgot how bananas this movie is.
There are moments in art that serve as foundation for your values and identity. When I was 12, I heard Jimmy Cliff sing, “Now they say I’ll have a pie up in the sky, waiting for me when I die. But between the day you’re born and when you die, they never seem to hear even your cry.”
1 / 2
1 / 2
November 30, 2025 at 12:59 PM
There are moments in art that serve as foundation for your values and identity. When I was 12, I heard Jimmy Cliff sing, “Now they say I’ll have a pie up in the sky, waiting for me when I die. But between the day you’re born and when you die, they never seem to hear even your cry.”
1 / 2
1 / 2
Reposted by John Hansen (suburbanerd)
Baking Bread
Mary Pratt
1974
Mary Pratt
1974
November 30, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Baking Bread
Mary Pratt
1974
Mary Pratt
1974
When I was in high school and insufferably obnoxious, Rita MacNeil was very uncool. 40 years later I hear “Underground” on the radio and I get all teary eyed like, “Rita was a real one, man.”
November 30, 2025 at 2:43 AM
When I was in high school and insufferably obnoxious, Rita MacNeil was very uncool. 40 years later I hear “Underground” on the radio and I get all teary eyed like, “Rita was a real one, man.”
Reposted by John Hansen (suburbanerd)
Stan Rogers became one of the most beloved Canadian musicians of the late-20th century.
His songs told the story of Canada, its culture, its people and its history.
Rogers was taken far too soon but his legacy endures.
This is his story.
📸 Stanrogers.net
🧵 1/12
His songs told the story of Canada, its culture, its people and its history.
Rogers was taken far too soon but his legacy endures.
This is his story.
📸 Stanrogers.net
🧵 1/12
November 29, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Stan Rogers became one of the most beloved Canadian musicians of the late-20th century.
His songs told the story of Canada, its culture, its people and its history.
Rogers was taken far too soon but his legacy endures.
This is his story.
📸 Stanrogers.net
🧵 1/12
His songs told the story of Canada, its culture, its people and its history.
Rogers was taken far too soon but his legacy endures.
This is his story.
📸 Stanrogers.net
🧵 1/12
Reposted by John Hansen (suburbanerd)
Perfect Tom Stoppard story from DTel obituary:
His response to a letter from Harold Pinter canvassing support for a proposal to have the Comedy Theatre in London rechristened the Pinter Theatre, “Have you thought, instead, of changing your name to Harold Comedy?”
His response to a letter from Harold Pinter canvassing support for a proposal to have the Comedy Theatre in London rechristened the Pinter Theatre, “Have you thought, instead, of changing your name to Harold Comedy?”
November 29, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Perfect Tom Stoppard story from DTel obituary:
His response to a letter from Harold Pinter canvassing support for a proposal to have the Comedy Theatre in London rechristened the Pinter Theatre, “Have you thought, instead, of changing your name to Harold Comedy?”
His response to a letter from Harold Pinter canvassing support for a proposal to have the Comedy Theatre in London rechristened the Pinter Theatre, “Have you thought, instead, of changing your name to Harold Comedy?”
Watching Man on the Inside where he goes undercover at a college and Oats Hall School of Music is a very good joke.
November 29, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Watching Man on the Inside where he goes undercover at a college and Oats Hall School of Music is a very good joke.
Rookie numbers. I can do better.
@suburbanerd.bsky.social has swears! They've used 150 profanities in their last 2,406 posts.
🥇 "shit" (29 times)
🥈 "damn" (11 times)
🥉 "dick" (11 times)
🥇 "shit" (29 times)
🥈 "damn" (11 times)
🥉 "dick" (11 times)
November 29, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Rookie numbers. I can do better.
@profanity.accountant how are ya gettin on?
November 29, 2025 at 12:12 PM
@profanity.accountant how are ya gettin on?
Reposted by John Hansen (suburbanerd)
This is why I pay for the World Wide Web.
Because it delivers ART!
Because it delivers ART!
November 29, 2025 at 4:33 AM
This is why I pay for the World Wide Web.
Because it delivers ART!
Because it delivers ART!
Reposted by John Hansen (suburbanerd)
I wanna live with a synonym girl
I'll know some words mean
The same as some words
With a synonym girl RS
I'll know some words mean
The same as some words
With a synonym girl RS
November 29, 2025 at 8:09 AM
I wanna live with a synonym girl
I'll know some words mean
The same as some words
With a synonym girl RS
I'll know some words mean
The same as some words
With a synonym girl RS
Fair to say this is my last ever bottle of this beer.
I’m not quitting drinking or anything. It’s just that Moosehead is discontinuing the green bottles .
I’m not quitting drinking or anything. It’s just that Moosehead is discontinuing the green bottles .
November 29, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Fair to say this is my last ever bottle of this beer.
I’m not quitting drinking or anything. It’s just that Moosehead is discontinuing the green bottles .
I’m not quitting drinking or anything. It’s just that Moosehead is discontinuing the green bottles .
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Green monkey
Bald eagle
Black bear
Moose
Hutia
Green monkey
Bald eagle
Black bear
Moose
Hutia
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Manatee
Bald eagle
Nurse shark
Black bear
Great blue heron
Manatee
Bald eagle
Nurse shark
Black bear
Great blue heron
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Whitetail deer
Fox (and babies! 😭)
Bald eagle
Red tail hawk
Turkey (also with babies! 😭)
Whitetail deer
Fox (and babies! 😭)
Bald eagle
Red tail hawk
Turkey (also with babies! 😭)
November 28, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Green monkey
Bald eagle
Black bear
Moose
Hutia
Green monkey
Bald eagle
Black bear
Moose
Hutia
So my nurse practitioner said “yeah, that sounds like ADHD. Let’s prescribe you something.” and my friends, I have not been this awake in years.
November 28, 2025 at 4:42 PM
So my nurse practitioner said “yeah, that sounds like ADHD. Let’s prescribe you something.” and my friends, I have not been this awake in years.
My 17 year old is going through the South Park phase so this week’s household theme song is “Pete Hegseth is a Fucking Douche” set to Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone.”
November 28, 2025 at 4:01 PM
My 17 year old is going through the South Park phase so this week’s household theme song is “Pete Hegseth is a Fucking Douche” set to Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone.”
There are reminders on my phone, my calendar, my work calendar and I still manage to forget I had an appointment with the doctor this morning.
November 28, 2025 at 3:51 PM
There are reminders on my phone, my calendar, my work calendar and I still manage to forget I had an appointment with the doctor this morning.