Søren Tolstrup
@stc4000.bsky.social
🇩🇰 Markgreve af Kåremose. Foragter mennesker, der siger "en kilomet". Spiser risengrød året rundt. Det er det hele.
Der er stadig nogle, der mener, at Fabergé-hønen kom først.
December 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Der er stadig nogle, der mener, at Fabergé-hønen kom først.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
SON: Can I have a cookie?
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
December 3, 2025 at 5:07 PM
SON: Can I have a cookie?
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
For the life of her, Chloe could not figure out how what had seemed like such a good plan, had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
November 29, 2025 at 1:58 PM
For the life of her, Chloe could not figure out how what had seemed like such a good plan, had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Watch carefully and you can see right through her eyes into the headrest.
#WorldBollardAssociation
#WorldBollardAssociation
November 29, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Watch carefully and you can see right through her eyes into the headrest.
#WorldBollardAssociation
#WorldBollardAssociation
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Flight Attendant: No animals on board
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
November 18, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Flight Attendant: No animals on board
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
November 13, 2025 at 11:45 PM
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Art teacher: I think you've misunderstood. It's the models who will be nude.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Me: Well this is awkward.
November 5, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Art teacher: I think you've misunderstood. It's the models who will be nude.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Roses are red
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
October 27, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Roses are red
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
they also carry a wide selection of hand gloves, leg pants, and head hats
October 20, 2025 at 3:58 PM
they also carry a wide selection of hand gloves, leg pants, and head hats
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
DATE: So what do you do?
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
June 23, 2025 at 11:27 AM
DATE: So what do you do?
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
i smell a pulitzer
January 27, 2025 at 5:04 PM
i smell a pulitzer
Tænker du nogle gange på, hvordan det går med Hampus fra “Den hvide sten”?
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
October 11, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Tænker du nogle gange på, hvordan det går med Hampus fra “Den hvide sten”?
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
“Bollede ham i går”
September 20, 2025 at 9:37 AM
“Bollede ham i går”
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog #palindrome
February 6, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog #palindrome
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
#palindrome
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
July 10, 2025 at 7:46 PM
#palindrome
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Kim Jong-Un Arrives At Summit On Slow-Moving, Heavily Fortified Mule
September 3, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Kim Jong-Un Arrives At Summit On Slow-Moving, Heavily Fortified Mule
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Zzzing!
September 2, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Zzzing!
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of Counter You Order At
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
August 23, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of Counter You Order At
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Trump is showing Presidents Zelensky and Macron his “4 more years” hat during their White House visit.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
August 19, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Trump is showing Presidents Zelensky and Macron his “4 more years” hat during their White House visit.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Hvornår begynder @venstre.dk og @socialdemokratiet.dk at rydde op i tossede regler som sender velintegrerede familier ud af Danmark, sådan som de lovede? Hvorfor sendes en dygtig sygeplejerske ud af landet mens vi mangler dem?
#dkpol
Del gerne !
jyllands-posten.dk/indland/ECE1...
#dkpol
Del gerne !
jyllands-posten.dk/indland/ECE1...
Hun har opfyldt alle krav og skal starte i fast job om få uger. Et brev har nu smadret både hendes og hospitalets planer
I næsten 10 måneder har et dansk sygehus brugt tid og skattefinansierede lønkroner på at gøre den erfarne iranske sygeplejerske Farzaneh Bagheri klar til et fast job. Men udlændingemyndighederne har n...
jyllands-posten.dk
August 10, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Hvornår begynder @venstre.dk og @socialdemokratiet.dk at rydde op i tossede regler som sender velintegrerede familier ud af Danmark, sådan som de lovede? Hvorfor sendes en dygtig sygeplejerske ud af landet mens vi mangler dem?
#dkpol
Del gerne !
jyllands-posten.dk/indland/ECE1...
#dkpol
Del gerne !
jyllands-posten.dk/indland/ECE1...
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Jo højere og dummere en ringetone er, des længere går der før opkaldet bliver besvaret. Slår aldrig fejl.
June 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Jo højere og dummere en ringetone er, des længere går der før opkaldet bliver besvaret. Slår aldrig fejl.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Hende: - Fortæl mig, hvad det hedder på nogle andre sprog også!
Ham: - Käse, fromage, queso, juusto, formaggio, peynir, kaas.
OST IN TRANSLATION
Ham: - Käse, fromage, queso, juusto, formaggio, peynir, kaas.
OST IN TRANSLATION
a man in a suit and a woman in a blue shirt are looking at each other
ALT: a man in a suit and a woman in a blue shirt are looking at each other
media.tenor.com
July 14, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Hende: - Fortæl mig, hvad det hedder på nogle andre sprog også!
Ham: - Käse, fromage, queso, juusto, formaggio, peynir, kaas.
OST IN TRANSLATION
Ham: - Käse, fromage, queso, juusto, formaggio, peynir, kaas.
OST IN TRANSLATION
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
TV2 vært: - Og Peter Tanev, hvor er der mest vand?
Tanev: - Ja det er jo der, hvor der er faldet mest regn.
…
…
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Tanev: - Ja det er jo der, hvor der er faldet mest regn.
…
…
…
July 22, 2025 at 1:05 PM
TV2 vært: - Og Peter Tanev, hvor er der mest vand?
Tanev: - Ja det er jo der, hvor der er faldet mest regn.
…
…
…
Tanev: - Ja det er jo der, hvor der er faldet mest regn.
…
…
…
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
America’s new health officials want to copy the vaccine policy of European countries such as Denmark. But there’s a problem with that plan, Katherine J. Wu reports:
The Obvious Reason the U.S. Should Not Vaccinate Like Denmark
It isn’t Denmark.
bit.ly
August 1, 2025 at 5:15 AM
America’s new health officials want to copy the vaccine policy of European countries such as Denmark. But there’s a problem with that plan, Katherine J. Wu reports: