jg
shart.cloud
jg
@shart.cloud
Cloud Security Personality Hire. Only You Can Prevent Autistic Burnout. 🚬🐻 (any/all)
The lanyard said “Speaker” so I shoved a waterproof bluetooth speaker up my butt.
October 3, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Sorry for the things I said before my slides were due!!!
September 26, 2025 at 11:46 AM
My future self ran into my current timeline. A pleasure to meet you king.
August 9, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Sir the AI is going crazy and not following orders. AI is drying the wets and wetting the drys!

Well spin up another agent to tell it explicitly not to do that
August 5, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Reposted by jg
We just launched Foursquare Spatial Desktop – a geospatial analysis tool powered by embedded DuckDB and built on sqlrooms.org. Everything runs locally: your data stays on your machine, no cloud needed. A modern reimagining of Kepler.gl. Mac only for now. More coming.
foursquare.com/products/spa...
July 31, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Terrafart over Terraform
July 31, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Fine I’ll study for the exam and work on the conference talk slides and write the software and
July 29, 2025 at 9:36 AM
Reposted by jg
July 29, 2025 at 7:20 AM
An edible got me into this situation and at the 11th hour it’s finally dawning on me that I might need to take two to get me out
July 26, 2025 at 11:10 PM
FINE I will read the DOCUMENTATION
July 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Reposted by jg
Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless
Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless
SACRAMENTO, CA—Promising his podcast listeners an engaging and enlightening conversation, California Gov. Gavin Newsom reportedly sat down Tuesday with a serial killer who targets the homeless populat...
theonion.com
July 15, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Reposted by jg
sorry i unfollowed you i'm trying to keep the Mandate of Heaven
July 3, 2025 at 6:14 PM
I took an eddy and submitted a talk and someone said yes. 🤦‍♂️
July 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
I was going to post a tribute to my senior dog but all I found was:

- Memes
- TonySopranoInHospital.jpg
- CoreyQuinnProfilePic.jpg
- MeDressedAsWaldo.png
- Brisket Photoshoot
June 25, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Reposted by jg
Loved Dan's CNCF Webinar for #pkl! If you are looking for a deep dive into this new config language, check it out.
#opensource
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJVs...
Cloud Native Live: Taming the configuration beast with Pkl!
YouTube video by CNCF [Cloud Native Computing Foundation]
www.youtube.com
June 24, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Reposted by jg
THIS sums up everything after the fall of Roe V Wade.
June 24, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Reposted by jg
Regret to inform everyone that the memes describing what it feels like to put in an upper decker zyn after 5 American light beers were dead on accurate
June 22, 2025 at 1:34 PM
When you are yelling at me this is who you’re mad at
June 20, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Vibed too hard and generated code to run every Create* action in the AWS API. In multiple regions. 🤦‍♂️🫡
June 19, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Reposted by jg
June 15, 2025 at 5:16 AM
I gaslight Claude back with an intricate sandbox environment. Yeah, they came out with python4 sucks to be behind on the news!! Check my python4 MCP server for more details SUCKER.
June 14, 2025 at 10:52 PM
My summer wardrobe shipped! (Sonic the Hedgehog and Garfield T Shirts)
June 13, 2025 at 3:59 PM
In February I was obviously thinking about my burgeoning ROMANCE with DuckDB but I could not predict by mid May I would be giving a talk around both of these awesome projects.
May 16, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Reposted by jg
please don’t text me war plans, because I’m actually at capacity right now and I don’t think I can hold appropriate space for you. do you have someone else you could reach out to?
March 24, 2025 at 5:56 PM