Reposted by July
[peering out the window as blood rains from the sky]
we needed this
we needed this
June 26, 2025 at 11:19 PM
[peering out the window as blood rains from the sky]
we needed this
we needed this
Reposted by July
Reposted by July
life keeps coming after my swag
June 26, 2025 at 2:27 AM
life keeps coming after my swag
Don’t milk your chicken in one basket
June 26, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Don’t milk your chicken in one basket
Reposted by July
“Life isn’t the only thing that’s too short to last long.”
- Me, flirting at a blink-182 concert.
- Me, flirting at a blink-182 concert.
June 25, 2025 at 4:03 PM
“Life isn’t the only thing that’s too short to last long.”
- Me, flirting at a blink-182 concert.
- Me, flirting at a blink-182 concert.
When the going gets tough… I get going
June 25, 2025 at 4:22 PM
When the going gets tough… I get going
Reposted by July
they’re doing this to me if you even care
a small white dog with a cupcake on its head being decorated with pink frosting .
ALT: a small white dog with a cupcake on its head being decorated with pink frosting .
media.tenor.com
June 17, 2025 at 4:48 PM
they’re doing this to me if you even care
Reposted by July
She’s a ten, but she says, “moon landing” every time your butts touch.
June 17, 2025 at 2:19 PM
She’s a ten, but she says, “moon landing” every time your butts touch.
Dead people don’t haunt like they used to.
I moon graveyards just to keep spirits up.
I moon graveyards just to keep spirits up.
June 17, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Dead people don’t haunt like they used to.
I moon graveyards just to keep spirits up.
I moon graveyards just to keep spirits up.
Reposted by July
I’m sorry for what I said when I had that dog in me.
June 7, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I’m sorry for what I said when I had that dog in me.
Reposted by July
make a point of introducing myself to the local birds so i always have friends in high places
June 4, 2025 at 12:16 AM
make a point of introducing myself to the local birds so i always have friends in high places
Reposted by July
*pointing a gun at a butterfly* Don’t fucking tell me you’re the same guy. What did you do with Caterpillar? WHERE IS HE?!
June 2, 2025 at 3:29 PM
*pointing a gun at a butterfly* Don’t fucking tell me you’re the same guy. What did you do with Caterpillar? WHERE IS HE?!
Reposted by July
i’m lackswag intolerant
June 5, 2025 at 4:52 PM
i’m lackswag intolerant
I went back to church to tighten up my demon jokes. The devil’s in the details, so I sat in the splash zone. I accidentally got cast in the nativity play..
June 6, 2025 at 4:08 AM
I went back to church to tighten up my demon jokes. The devil’s in the details, so I sat in the splash zone. I accidentally got cast in the nativity play..
If you like spies, lies and thighs.
Watch my new film about a double agent that was double crossed and double stuffed.
Watch my new film about a double agent that was double crossed and double stuffed.
June 5, 2025 at 3:34 PM
If you like spies, lies and thighs.
Watch my new film about a double agent that was double crossed and double stuffed.
Watch my new film about a double agent that was double crossed and double stuffed.
Reposted by July
It's pretty simple, really. If you vex me, I will hex you.
Any questions?
Any questions?
June 1, 2025 at 8:14 PM
It's pretty simple, really. If you vex me, I will hex you.
Any questions?
Any questions?
I tell nurses I see dead people—and one’s been following them.
Hospital gown, cheeks out, and he’s asking if he can get a new IV bag.
Hospital gown, cheeks out, and he’s asking if he can get a new IV bag.
June 3, 2025 at 4:22 PM
I tell nurses I see dead people—and one’s been following them.
Hospital gown, cheeks out, and he’s asking if he can get a new IV bag.
Hospital gown, cheeks out, and he’s asking if he can get a new IV bag.
Reposted by July
When vampires cum it's called edraculatuon.
May 30, 2025 at 9:00 PM
When vampires cum it's called edraculatuon.
Cocomelon squeezed me out of the game.
I was CoconutWatermelon.
Legally I can only go by NutWater.
I was CoconutWatermelon.
Legally I can only go by NutWater.
May 30, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Cocomelon squeezed me out of the game.
I was CoconutWatermelon.
Legally I can only go by NutWater.
I was CoconutWatermelon.
Legally I can only go by NutWater.
Reposted by July
for being called The Shining this movie is kinda dark huh
May 28, 2025 at 1:09 PM
for being called The Shining this movie is kinda dark huh
The mucus i’m coughing up look like alien fetuses. Sent a sample to Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Guinness World Records wouldn’t believe me.
May 29, 2025 at 2:59 AM
The mucus i’m coughing up look like alien fetuses. Sent a sample to Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Guinness World Records wouldn’t believe me.
Reposted by July
i feel like a billion bucks. cruel and unnecessary
May 29, 2025 at 2:46 AM
i feel like a billion bucks. cruel and unnecessary
Sorry can’t answer right now I’m doing the dishes
May 29, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Sorry can’t answer right now I’m doing the dishes
They make iron supplement pills?? I’ve been suckling on this rock for hours..
May 25, 2025 at 8:17 PM
They make iron supplement pills?? I’ve been suckling on this rock for hours..