David Cowan
@secksi.co.uk
Reposted by David Cowan
Reposted by David Cowan
I don't really post anymore, but I would like to carry on writing books at some point in the future.
Hate to be annoying, but any chance you could retweet so old twitter followers can find me if they want to? Going to delete my twitter, or at least abandon it on lock and let it die a slow death.
Hate to be annoying, but any chance you could retweet so old twitter followers can find me if they want to? Going to delete my twitter, or at least abandon it on lock and let it die a slow death.
December 11, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I don't really post anymore, but I would like to carry on writing books at some point in the future.
Hate to be annoying, but any chance you could retweet so old twitter followers can find me if they want to? Going to delete my twitter, or at least abandon it on lock and let it die a slow death.
Hate to be annoying, but any chance you could retweet so old twitter followers can find me if they want to? Going to delete my twitter, or at least abandon it on lock and let it die a slow death.
Reposted by David Cowan
New Home Office impact assessment finds that cutting skilled and social care visas will cost the UK up to £10 billion with a central estimate of -£5.4 billion.
It would be good if this got even a fraction of the coverage devoted to the endless debate about boats, flags and Turkish barber shops
It would be good if this got even a fraction of the coverage devoted to the endless debate about boats, flags and Turkish barber shops
December 9, 2025 at 2:36 PM
New Home Office impact assessment finds that cutting skilled and social care visas will cost the UK up to £10 billion with a central estimate of -£5.4 billion.
It would be good if this got even a fraction of the coverage devoted to the endless debate about boats, flags and Turkish barber shops
It would be good if this got even a fraction of the coverage devoted to the endless debate about boats, flags and Turkish barber shops
Reposted by David Cowan
I feel compelled to write a review thread 🧵 for The Liz Truss Show because in the madness of the content, other aspects - vital aspects - are being missed.
1. The Aesthetics
Unless they were aiming for "Harley Street urologist waiting room circa 1992" this interview area is just unacceptable. 1/
1. The Aesthetics
Unless they were aiming for "Harley Street urologist waiting room circa 1992" this interview area is just unacceptable. 1/
December 7, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I feel compelled to write a review thread 🧵 for The Liz Truss Show because in the madness of the content, other aspects - vital aspects - are being missed.
1. The Aesthetics
Unless they were aiming for "Harley Street urologist waiting room circa 1992" this interview area is just unacceptable. 1/
1. The Aesthetics
Unless they were aiming for "Harley Street urologist waiting room circa 1992" this interview area is just unacceptable. 1/
Reposted by David Cowan
![[Scene is a JOB INTERVIEW. The bosses taking the interview are FATHER and MOTHER CHRISTMAS. In the chair across the desk from is the interviewee: RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER, sitting legs crossed. Rudolph is effusive and expressive with his hands / hooves.]
RUDOLPH:
...and in addition to my sleigh-pulling experience, l just genuinely love working with other reindeer. I mean I'm a real 'reindeer reindeer' you know? Haha!
FATHER CHRISTMAS [Looking delighted]:
Wonderful! Well, I think we've found our candidate...
So, uh...
Rudolph with your nose so bright...
...won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
[A chilly pause. We focus on Rudolph, who folds his arms, looks away in silent fury, his nose casting light about the room as he does so. He drags his eyes back to Father Christmas, his expression now of pure, cold contempt.]
RUDOLPH:
So this is about my nose.
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
One of my bulbs has gone.
RUDOLPH:
Go to Halfords!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
It's closed till Tuesday.
RUDOLPH:
No, right, OK... I get it... this is like a narrative thing for you, isn't it?
[Rolling his eyes, gesticulating, getting more angry as he begins to rant]:
Like...powerful white male saves the shunned outsider by making a gimmick of their difference?
[We see Father and Mother Christmas looking awkward, a bit scared, askance at each other]
RUDOLPH:
So in your head, what, like, the other reindeer who've bullied me my whole life will suddenly start respecting Mr Fog Lamp up front?
[Rudolph is waving his hooves now]
I mean, I notice you haven't interviewed my AUNTY for this job. Rita the Red-Arsed Reindeer? She applied!
Her nose is even brighter than mine, but because the disease has spread to her ARSE she's not the right KIND of diversity mascot...
[Finally Rudolph stands up, knocking his chair backwards. Father Christmas looks shocked, Mother Christmas looks terrified.]
RUDOLPH:
This is BULLSHIT!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
SECURITY...!
[A little Elf enters to tackle Rudolph]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreie3mb32pphq6abkfu4w62sikexg3dtwyw3qgcrfdcwhoi3o7gbleu@jpeg)
Reposted by David Cowan
'The War Between the Land and the Sea'
(2025)
BBC1
(2025)
BBC1
December 3, 2025 at 7:37 PM
'The War Between the Land and the Sea'
(2025)
BBC1
(2025)
BBC1
Reposted by David Cowan
not endorsing this piece which is laden with its own transphobia in parts, though it does really provide an insight into a guy who seemingly has gotten so lost in posting that he barely remembers where he is observer.co.uk/culture/inte...
Graham Linehan won’t shut up | The Observer
observer.co.uk
November 27, 2025 at 9:31 PM
not endorsing this piece which is laden with its own transphobia in parts, though it does really provide an insight into a guy who seemingly has gotten so lost in posting that he barely remembers where he is observer.co.uk/culture/inte...
Reposted by David Cowan
Noel Edmonds: a thread of horror.
Carrie (Dir: Brian De Palma, 1976)
Carrie (Dir: Brian De Palma, 1976)
November 15, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Noel Edmonds: a thread of horror.
Carrie (Dir: Brian De Palma, 1976)
Carrie (Dir: Brian De Palma, 1976)
Reposted by David Cowan
Well, if it’s 26 November, it must be the 139th anniversary of a divorce case so saucy and notorious it gave us the phrase “what the butler saw”, and newspapers suppressed some of the details of the domestic servant in question’s testimony because it was “unfit for publication”
November 26, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Well, if it’s 26 November, it must be the 139th anniversary of a divorce case so saucy and notorious it gave us the phrase “what the butler saw”, and newspapers suppressed some of the details of the domestic servant in question’s testimony because it was “unfit for publication”
Reposted by David Cowan
The car journey to pick up a friend which led Paul Doyle to infamy
The full story 👇
The full story 👇
The car journey to pick up friend which led Paul Doyle to infamy
A cryptocurrency-obsessed family man turned Liverpool FC's title parade into a scene of utter chaos
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk
November 26, 2025 at 7:13 PM
The car journey to pick up a friend which led Paul Doyle to infamy
The full story 👇
The full story 👇
Reposted by David Cowan
I’M NOT AS MERE AS I LOOK
November 26, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I’M NOT AS MERE AS I LOOK
Reposted by David Cowan
![[Scene is JESUS sat behind a boss’s desk in his office on a cloud in HEAVEN]
1
JESUS [speaking into intercom]
Hi can you send in Saint Nicholas please
2
SANTA [entering in full Santa garb]:
Hi boss
JESUS:
Hi Nick
3
JESUS:
Listen - about this ‘my birthday’ thing...
SANTA:
Ohh not this again boss
4
JESUS:
Nick, it’s out of hand. *You’ve* got out of hand.
5
JESUS:
I mean when I hired you, you was all humble, hiding under windows, lobbing in dowries…
And now you’re like…
6
JESUS [gesturing disdainfully at Santa’s clothing]:
I mean - what’s this.
7
SANTA:
This is my get up! I’ve had this since the Coca Cola deal in the 30s
JESUS:
*That’s what I mean.*
8
JESUS:
You’ve just gone too -
SANTA:
Oh no, oh no -
9
SANTA:
Sorry boss but waaay back in the Reformation, right, Martin Luther said: “why don’t we have Jesus delivering the presents?”. And when he prayed to ask you, do you remember what you said? Eh?
10
SANTA:
You said: “I ain’t going back there”
11
SANTA:
If you wanna take over -
JESUS:
Oh yeah! Kids coming downstairs to find me resurrected in their living room going "I got you an Xbox"...
12
SANTA:
You’re just feeling threatened cos I’m doing a bloody good -
JESUS:
*WATCH IT NICK*.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayhglimve4fbwilzyfjedpa56xwmjq4oriqqs62atkospprs6x5y@jpeg)
Reposted by David Cowan
So how's the AI going?
November 24, 2025 at 2:37 PM
So how's the AI going?
Reposted by David Cowan
why can they not just fix it
![[Scene is MCcDONALDS PICKUP POINT but for the most part we can only see the close up faces of tha CUSTOMER and the McDONALDS EMPLOYEE at the serving point].
1
CUSTOMER:
Hi - I’m afraid this isn’t what I ordered
2
McDONALDS EMPLOYEE:
Number 187?
CUSTOMER:
Yes
3
CUSTOMER:
Maybe I pressed the wrong thing?
I just ordered one strawberry milkshake.
4
EMPLOYEE:
Oh - yeah sorry
5
EMPLOYEE:
The milkshake machine’s not working.
6
EMPLOYEE:
The only flavours we can do are vanilla, banana, and Labour Leader Pretending to be Nigel Farage.
7
CUSTOMER:
Is that a new flavour?
EMPLOYEE:
Yeah
8
[We now see that the employee has placed a gigantic milkshake cup on the counter]
EMPLOYEE:
If you look inside, there’s a Labour leader pretending to be Nigel Farage.
9
[Customer looks inside the cup]
10
[Show Keir Starmer dressed as Nigel Farage inside the cup]
CUSTOMER:
So there is
11
CUSTOMER:
Is that something people want, then?
EMPLOYEE:
No! No, not at all.
12
EMPLOYEE:
It just keeps happening when we press banana.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibbip5v2gcsv5j7kp6qm7lp6hpmaqcsanoobea2dxms7gxgrqk4qy@jpeg)
November 18, 2025 at 11:16 AM
why can they not just fix it
Reposted by David Cowan
“I wouldn’t give the steam off my urine, mate!”
Caller Joe takes aim at Rio Ferdinand for moving to Dubai, but it soon escalates to something more…
Caller Joe takes aim at Rio Ferdinand for moving to Dubai, but it soon escalates to something more…
November 5, 2025 at 5:18 PM
“I wouldn’t give the steam off my urine, mate!”
Caller Joe takes aim at Rio Ferdinand for moving to Dubai, but it soon escalates to something more…
Caller Joe takes aim at Rio Ferdinand for moving to Dubai, but it soon escalates to something more…
Reposted by David Cowan
The Enfield Poltergeist 👻
November 4, 2025 at 5:02 PM
The Enfield Poltergeist 👻
Reposted by David Cowan
Posting old halloween comics, #3. From 2019 (hence the reference to something called 'Twitter')
![Cartoon strip by Stephen Collins from Halloween 2019.
The scene is a suburban street on Halloween night. Families are out trick or treating together. Two families are passing each other - with their respective children. A little girl called LUCY from one family says hi to a boy named BILLY from another family. We can only see the back of Billy's head.
LUCY:
Hey Billy
BILLY:
Hi Lucy
BILLY:
What are you dressed as?
LUCY:
I'm a scary witch
What are you?
BILLY:
I'm the creepiest thing in the world...
[We now see that he is dressed as a vampiric version of UK politician JACOB REES MOGG, and his parents are similarly dressed as Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss with various Brexit - themed things stuck to their costumes.]
BILLY:
A child in an inappropriately political Halloween costume!
LUCY:
Oh my god...
BILLY:
I wanted to be a zombie but my parents said we all had to dress up as scary ERG members because we are going to a Brexit Halloween party.
LUCY:
What does that mean
BILLY:
I have no idea
LUCY:
Are they doing this to put it on Twitter?
BILLY:
I believe so, yes.
LUCY:
Well at least you'll get a few retweets!
BILLY:
Can I join your family
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifzq752rgmtgsmhpjlpttxokxnujwxvstp3gifj5qotq4s7c636lu@jpeg)
October 29, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Posting old halloween comics, #3. From 2019 (hence the reference to something called 'Twitter')
Reposted by David Cowan
"RetroSpectrum - Reloaded"
Digital collage made in Photoshop based on the glorious games of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum 😍
#zxspectrum #retrogaming #pixelart #8bitart
Digital collage made in Photoshop based on the glorious games of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum 😍
#zxspectrum #retrogaming #pixelart #8bitart
October 28, 2025 at 6:04 PM
"RetroSpectrum - Reloaded"
Digital collage made in Photoshop based on the glorious games of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum 😍
#zxspectrum #retrogaming #pixelart #8bitart
Digital collage made in Photoshop based on the glorious games of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum 😍
#zxspectrum #retrogaming #pixelart #8bitart
Reposted by David Cowan
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian.
[Scene is BBC BREAKFAST with two presenters and a guest on the sofa].
1
PRESENTER:
Now - some disturbing new research has shown
2
PRESENTER:
that as many as 10 non-Reform political parties may currently operating ‘under the radar’ across the UK.
[Show on screen logos for Greens, Lib Dems, Conservatives
3
PRESENTER:
In the studio to discuss this, Nigel Farage
[We see the guest on the sofa is indeed Nigel Farage]
4
PRESENTER:
Nigel, what’s your view?
FARAGE:
Well I think this very worrying.
5
FARAGE:
And just another reason why we should ban all immigration.
6
PRESENTER:
I won’t push back on that
FARAGE:
Absolutely!
7
PRESENTER:
Funnily enough, this is what your new show’s about, isn’t it?
FARAGE:
Oop - plug time!
PRESENTER:
Ha ha
8
FARAGE:
Yes it’s a 12-part BBC documentary called ‘In Search Of The Political Parties That Aren’t My One’.
9
[Show on the TV screen Farage presenting a documentary series titled In Search Of The Political Parties That Aren’t My One. He is wearing his farmer's getup and looking dreamily at the UK from hillsides, visiting pubs and chatting with the locals, etc]
FARAGE:
It’s a really emotional journey
10
FARAGE:
with lots of dreamy footage of me looking relatable...
11
FARAGE:
as I answer the question:
*Am I the only option for Britain?*
12
[Cut back to studio]
PRESENTER:
I won’t push back on that
FARAGE:
Absolutely!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidseyojvyqngmitl76iafvvbvgg4a3i7a26642c2c3gacoi7pwtbi@jpeg)
Reposted by David Cowan
![1
Nurse:
It’s become a real problem in this area
2
Nurse:
We’ve seen the whole community lost to addiction
3
Show a building sign posted:
Westminster ‘X’ Addiction Clinic
With various Westminster people or looking at their phones outside it
Nurse:
Ministers, Spads, Researchers…
4
Nurse:
Most mornings we’ll get a call about someone acting strangely
[Nurse on phone taking a call]
Ok - we’ll be right over
5
Nurse:
We just have a gentle chat
[Nurses approach a minister –Robert Jenrick? - standing in the Palace of Westminster
Minister:
I understand your concerns…
6
Nurse:
Are you OK love?
Minister:
Yes I’m just hearing legitimate concerns from real voters
7
Nurse:
That’s a robot, a Nazi and a poorly-disguised Russian
[Show that the people he is talking to are precisely these characters]
Nurse 2:
Give us your phone, love
8
Nurse:
At the clinic we put them in a Grass-Touching Pod, with a real voter to talk to
[We see them back at the clinic, holding the minister's head and pushing him into a glass isolation booth with a grass floor. And it is a baffled looking woman, on a chair, ready to talk to him.]
9
Minister:
YOU MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT THE COMING CIVIL WAR
[woman looks baffled]
10
woman:
I just want a bus service
Minister:
LOOK AT MY FLAG
[produces a St George's flag]
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreicahofq6s4xow7vowj7dx6odw6ejdwr4kwcmzta7qwi4hg2nvywji@jpeg)
Reposted by David Cowan
The best short ghost story ever.
October 17, 2025 at 7:35 AM
The best short ghost story ever.
Reposted by David Cowan
This two-parter below is exactly why it's hard to make clothes in the United States.
Let's look at how much it costs to produce a button-up shirt in the US. 🧵
Let's look at how much it costs to produce a button-up shirt in the US. 🧵
October 12, 2025 at 9:38 PM
This two-parter below is exactly why it's hard to make clothes in the United States.
Let's look at how much it costs to produce a button-up shirt in the US. 🧵
Let's look at how much it costs to produce a button-up shirt in the US. 🧵
Reposted by David Cowan
That look from Tom! 😆 #CelebrityTraitors
October 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM
That look from Tom! 😆 #CelebrityTraitors