Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
@saramonkey.bsky.social
Award-winning writer. Sassypants. GenX. Snarknado. Problematic bitch. Bad dancer. Daydreamer.
Fatty McFeatures reports windy AF.
February 6, 2026 at 6:18 PM
Fatty McFeatures reports windy AF.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
This evening's thought to ponder from Maggies Farm.
February 4, 2026 at 3:08 AM
This evening's thought to ponder from Maggies Farm.
DRINK ME! -- Much like myself, the can and decorations promise a good time, but inside I'm bubbly, salty, and full of nothingness.
February 5, 2026 at 6:08 PM
DRINK ME! -- Much like myself, the can and decorations promise a good time, but inside I'm bubbly, salty, and full of nothingness.
RANDO NO. 5 -- Blind Date with a Book time here at the Book Barn. Students get to choose a book sight unseen, read it, rate it, and get entered to win a prize. I picked these three...feel free to guess! 🎡🫣
February 5, 2026 at 6:00 PM
RANDO NO. 5 -- Blind Date with a Book time here at the Book Barn. Students get to choose a book sight unseen, read it, rate it, and get entered to win a prize. I picked these three...feel free to guess! 🎡🫣
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Media audiences have splintered. Most folks who read the newspaper now are just looking to see if they're on the obituary page yet.
February 5, 2026 at 11:49 AM
Media audiences have splintered. Most folks who read the newspaper now are just looking to see if they're on the obituary page yet.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Mr. Jameson, with AI you can bring YOURSELF pictures of Spider-Man... and some of them can be, shall we say, quite risqué?
February 5, 2026 at 2:40 PM
Mr. Jameson, with AI you can bring YOURSELF pictures of Spider-Man... and some of them can be, shall we say, quite risqué?
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
I’m shy at first and then gradually turn insane.
February 4, 2026 at 7:27 PM
I’m shy at first and then gradually turn insane.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Let’s face it by Feb 4 George Bailey was probably back on that bridge
February 4, 2026 at 12:33 PM
Let’s face it by Feb 4 George Bailey was probably back on that bridge
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
I’m sorry but work just isn’t as much fun sober.
February 3, 2026 at 4:47 PM
I’m sorry but work just isn’t as much fun sober.
A BANKSY! -- Crab man.
February 3, 2026 at 11:43 PM
A BANKSY! -- Crab man.
🎼"COME, PLAY, AND RIDE/UPON MY SLIP AND SLIDE"
-- Both vehicles have successfully departed and returned to Rolling Ankles Ranch. Doggo was perplexed at the ice crunching under the car. *head tilt*
-- Both vehicles have successfully departed and returned to Rolling Ankles Ranch. Doggo was perplexed at the ice crunching under the car. *head tilt*
February 1, 2026 at 9:29 PM
🎼"COME, PLAY, AND RIDE/UPON MY SLIP AND SLIDE"
-- Both vehicles have successfully departed and returned to Rolling Ankles Ranch. Doggo was perplexed at the ice crunching under the car. *head tilt*
-- Both vehicles have successfully departed and returned to Rolling Ankles Ranch. Doggo was perplexed at the ice crunching under the car. *head tilt*
MAMA MIA! -- Lil Jerry is a tiny, toasty, ball of mozzarella on his pizza snuffle pad.
February 1, 2026 at 7:31 PM
MAMA MIA! -- Lil Jerry is a tiny, toasty, ball of mozzarella on his pizza snuffle pad.
PAPERMILL LUNG -- Shredding old paperwork on a second-hand shredder. Left side tends to jam. *mutters under breath, digs out wadded shreds with skewer*
January 31, 2026 at 7:36 PM
PAPERMILL LUNG -- Shredding old paperwork on a second-hand shredder. Left side tends to jam. *mutters under breath, digs out wadded shreds with skewer*
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Dear whoever is in charge of "these things happen in threes":
Have I got some names for you.
Have I got some names for you.
January 30, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Dear whoever is in charge of "these things happen in threes":
Have I got some names for you.
Have I got some names for you.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
ROLLING ANKLES RANCH WEATHER STATION -- Campus is open Friday, but the weather vibe is still harsh, so I'm gonna skip. Brought to you by the Tuneless Humming Emoters.
January 30, 2026 at 2:36 AM
ROLLING ANKLES RANCH WEATHER STATION -- Campus is open Friday, but the weather vibe is still harsh, so I'm gonna skip. Brought to you by the Tuneless Humming Emoters.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
MN trying to break out a rogue supersoldier to help with our battle
A Minnesota man allegedly tried to break Luigi Mangione out of jail in New York by claiming to be an FBI agent with a court order to release him, authorities said
Man allegedly tried to break Luigi Mangione out of jail by impersonating FBI agent: Sources
A Minnesota man allegedly tried to break Luigi Mangione out of jail in New York, law enforcement sources told ABC News.
abcnews.go.com
January 29, 2026 at 8:14 PM
MN trying to break out a rogue supersoldier to help with our battle
"DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!" -- Wild how IT departments will give their angriest employees with beefy wrists crappy Surfaces with overly sensitive touchpads to work on.
In other news, the dogs are hiding and I'm in the furthest part of the house with ear-pods in.
In other news, the dogs are hiding and I'm in the furthest part of the house with ear-pods in.
January 29, 2026 at 6:06 PM
"DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!" -- Wild how IT departments will give their angriest employees with beefy wrists crappy Surfaces with overly sensitive touchpads to work on.
In other news, the dogs are hiding and I'm in the furthest part of the house with ear-pods in.
In other news, the dogs are hiding and I'm in the furthest part of the house with ear-pods in.
CAULDRON OF QUESO -- Main roads are theoretically clear with icy patches, but side streets are bobsled tracks. As is the way of the hillbilly I whomped up a cast-iron skillet of taco-seasoned beef, corn, beans, diced olives, Rotel and Velveeta.
January 28, 2026 at 6:16 PM
CAULDRON OF QUESO -- Main roads are theoretically clear with icy patches, but side streets are bobsled tracks. As is the way of the hillbilly I whomped up a cast-iron skillet of taco-seasoned beef, corn, beans, diced olives, Rotel and Velveeta.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
It's doomsday o'clock somewhere
January 28, 2026 at 3:39 AM
It's doomsday o'clock somewhere
BEANS AND BEAN ADJACENT CREATIONS -- Chili, green beans with bacon, black-eyed peas with bacon, and JAMBALAYA!
TIRED OF ALL THIS BEANERY --Tonight was salmon and wheat noodles.
TIRED OF ALL THIS BEANERY --Tonight was salmon and wheat noodles.
January 27, 2026 at 4:04 AM
BEANS AND BEAN ADJACENT CREATIONS -- Chili, green beans with bacon, black-eyed peas with bacon, and JAMBALAYA!
TIRED OF ALL THIS BEANERY --Tonight was salmon and wheat noodles.
TIRED OF ALL THIS BEANERY --Tonight was salmon and wheat noodles.
Reposted by Flake_Plissken🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
"It's all in the reflexes," I say to an empty house as I catch the earbud before it falls in the toilet
January 25, 2026 at 7:41 PM
"It's all in the reflexes," I say to an empty house as I catch the earbud before it falls in the toilet
LIKE A FOUL-MOUTHED SNOW WHITE -- Baked a cake and cornbread this morning. Brought out the velour blankets. Birdos are making out like bandits on the feeders.
January 24, 2026 at 7:52 PM
LIKE A FOUL-MOUTHED SNOW WHITE -- Baked a cake and cornbread this morning. Brought out the velour blankets. Birdos are making out like bandits on the feeders.
Hubs is perkily arm-chair quarterbacking EVERYTHING on the local teevee station this morning during KILLSTORM 2026. Half a Buspar has been deployed.
a school bus is driving through a snowy street
ALT: a school bus is driving through a snowy street
media.tenor.com
January 24, 2026 at 1:16 PM
Hubs is perkily arm-chair quarterbacking EVERYTHING on the local teevee station this morning during KILLSTORM 2026. Half a Buspar has been deployed.